What Should I Do, Part II

In My Humble Opinion
1

I teach a small class of sixth-graders on Wednesday nights for our church’s youth group. They’re a great bunch of kids. They’re all very smart, very interested, and very into the lessons and discussions.

Except one. We’ll call him “Ron.”

“Ron” does not belong in sixth grade. For one thing, he can barely read. I’m not talking about simple poor reading skills. I mean, the boy literally can barely read. I mean on a Dick and Jane level.

Neither can “Ron” participate in a discussion. In last night’s discussion, we were talking about growing up and the changes life brings. At one point, the subject of silly childhood fears came up. So I asked the group, “What sort of things were you afraid of when you were a kid?” I got several good answers, but then it came to Ron. I asked him, “Ron, what sort of things were you afraid of when you were a kid?” Ron looks at me and says, “I don’t like peaches.”

Ron’s parents have expressed their concern that I don’t include Ron in the discussions or that I don’t call on him to read Scripture out loud like I do the other kids. I tried to explain to them that it took Ron ten minutes to read Philippians 4:6 last night and that we only have an hour, but they got all defensive about it.

Frankly, I cannot teach with Ron in my class. Fact is, I’m trying to teach these kids important truths from the Bible, and to get them to “own” their faith, and every lesson gets completely derailed every time Ron opens his mouth. My classroom is not Special Ed, and I think Ron’s presence there is unfair to the rest of the kids.

I want to tell Ron’s parents to start bringing him to the children’s class. Over there it’s mostly just watching videos or listening to the children’s minister tell stories. No offense, but Ron would get a lot more out of it than he would in my class, and I can get on with teaching my lessons to the kids who are actually learning something.

So, what do you all think? Am I being unreasonable here?

2

Yes, it sounds like Ron has problems. His parents probably know he has problems, but either are in denial or just want him to participate in as many “normal-kid” activities as he can. If he appears to be enjoying the class, I think it’s important that he should participate. So let him read every now and then. It’ll mean a lot to him – and, I think, to your other students as well.

I don’t mean to be judgmental or tell you how to run your class, but just what are these “important truths from the Bible” that take precedence over basic patience, compassion, and understanding? I’m sure they’re learning some great lessons from your class discussions, but it’s just as important for them to see Christianity in practice. It sounds like you have a GREAT opportunity to teach all your students values that will serve them well in later life. Many “bright” kids are tracked into classes at an early age with other “bright” kids, and don’t know how hard others struggle. Listening to him may be a revelation for them. They’re also approaching the age where kids tend to bully everyone who stands out from the crowd even a little. If they how to treat Ron with kindness and respect in your class, it may help them to do the right thing in the jungle of junior high.

… 'course, I’m just a childless atheist, so you may not want to listen to me.

3

Just a question - is there someone else who can help you out, or maybe assist Ron specifically (like a teacher-aide?) If he can stay with his own age group it’s probably better for his self-confidence, especially in the long run, so I would try to find some way to keep him with the group. So if there’s help, then maybe make as much use of that as possible.

Or,you could have his parents come in and help… volunteering in your kid’s classroom (or church group, whatever) is a great way to get to know your child, and his/her friends, as well as to see first-hand what types of difficulties the child is having. Perhaps that could result in the parents deciding on their own to move Ron the the younger group, or they can dedicate more time to helping him learn. Suggest to them that they do extra work with him to improve his reading - read Bible passages with him before bed, or even help him with his regular schoolwork. I can see why it would be difficult to manage the class with Ron in it, but I think the issue would be much more about whether he is being given the chance to learn. Admittedly, you aren’t his regular school teacher, but perhaps you pointing out his difficulties indicates a problem for Ron at school, as well.

This child deserves a chance to learn, not only what you teach in the church group, but everything else kids his age should know, or will get to know. I would hate to have this child “disappear” through life because he didn’t get to learn…I think that would be worse than disrupting your class.

So I guess what I’m saying is look into other possibilities first. If for the purposes of your group, having him moved to the younger class is the best option overall, then no, I would not say you’re unreasonable. Just maybe look for a bigger problem overall when you make your decision…I think it would be worth the extra effort.

…my mom would be so proud of me…she’s the teacher in the family (grade one)…this is all based on experiences she’s told me about…see mom? I DO listen!!

4

Your point is well-taken, Porpentine. I had almost forgotten that the kids learn just as much (if not more) from what I do than from what I say.

5

I think it’s different because of your subject matter.
If e.g. there were school exams to sit, then you do need to sort by ability.
If there was a team sport involved, then Ron should go to the reserves.
But neither is the case here.

Incidentally I hope you’re letting the kids make up their own minds, and not ‘indoctrinating’. This board has discussed the many different branches of Christianity, plus the views of athiests / agnostics (like me) - are you prepared to do the same?

6

Rasta…This is going to come across a little harsher than I intend.
You can’t teach Ron? You blame him, saying everytime he opens up his mouth, the class gets derailed. Either you need additional teaching skills or you shouldn’t be teaching this class. Of course his parents want him to take part in the class.

I have a child that needs a little extra help at times. When we put him in hockey, karate, canoeing, or whatever, we take the instructor or coach aside and explain our boy’s situation. If the coach “drops the ball”, we’re on his/her case like white on rice.

Not everyone fits into a easily teachable mould. I understand that you’re frustrated, but you are supposed to be teaching Christian values here…I don’t think you are.

I suspect tolerance isn’t high on your list of priorities.
I know this sounds a wee bit stern. If you can look past the “tone” of this post and…ah never mind.

7

Sixth grade. Ah, I remember it well. I remember being so scared of going to middle school, I could hardly stand it. Confrontation wasn’t my strong suit and all I could think about was finding out a 7th grader hated me. I didn’t want to be different. I wanted to fit in. Curse the day I had to get big glasses cause I couldn’t see. Felt like such a geek.

I also remember tormenting the Special Ed students that were included in our school. Kids who were different than the rest of us. I am still deeply ashamed of this episode of my life.

Ron knows he’s different. The other kids know he’s different (trust me, they KNOW and I’m sure they don’t hesitate to tell him when you aren’t around). Kids, more than anything at this stage, want to fit in. Ron has already been excluded in ways you’ll never see: excluded at school, excluded probably after school through lack of friendships formed at school, excluded by other teachers who don’t know what to do with him, just like you.

The best thing you could do for him right now is to make him feel like he’s just one of the kids. Make him feel included, let him know he’s part of things, give him chances to participate. You will make more of difference in his life than you may know.

It’s good to have an agenda for what you want to accomplish but don’t let that agenda stand in the way of truly making a difference in someone’s life. I don’t remember the Bible stories I learned in youth group at this age but I do remember the people that took time to answer my questions and give me a chance to participate.

8

Peaches are scary

9

What you do will override anything you say. If there is any disagreement between the two, they will also be learning how to be hypocritical – and they will not even be aware of it. If you want them to own their faith, you’ve got to own yours first. Otherwise, you’re just teaching lip service.

~~Baloo

10

Firstly, I would like to commend you on even taking the time to be with these kids. That in itself is a good thing. As the others have said, Ron does have a problem, the other kids know it and he knows it, but he is being very brave and it sounds like he may be trying, at least. Is there anyone in the conregation that would be willing to help tutor Ron? Let him keep coming to the class, give him simpler verses to read, maybe assign them a week in advance so that he could practice before reading aloud to the whole class. And his parents? They need to get a clue. Poor little kid. :frowning:

11

It’s called mainstreaming & every child of any ability in the USA has a right to be in your class. It’s the law.

I don’t know why you are complaining, think about how it is for this kid as he has to deal with this 24 hours a day & you only have to deal with it for an hour a week? Be patient, the kid needs it & remember, this is the USA, everyone has a chance.

12

Sounds like he has the perfect capacity for the subject matter. Just tell him that if he touches himself or is attracted to another man he will have to spend eternity eating peaches.

Uh, handy, I’m not sure I recall the constitutional provision protecting anyone’s right to be involved in certain religion classes.

Speaking of private organizations’ right to exclude, my son was at a scouting function this weekend. They were playing a game we used to call “fumble rumble” or “maul ball”. Given the setting, I considered it appropriate that they were calling it “smear the queer.”

13

Seems like everyone else is skipping the point, so I’ll take a shot at it.

Ron has a learning problem. It’s hard to teach a kid who does have a learning problem. As much as I hate to say it, he’s probably stuck in your class. He won’t be able to participate as much as the others, but you can try to pull him into discussions. I don’t think he’d fit in anyplace, really, and that’s sad.

Just keep trying is all I can suggest. It is important that the other kids learn that while Ron may be slow, he may not be stupid. He’ll learn one day that people in this world will hate him. The other kids need to learn to deal with him as a person, not as some animal. I think that’s the big lesson here.

14

Maybe the kid’s got dyslexia? That don’t make him slow.

15

Has anyone stopped to think that maybe Ron’s problem isn’t reading, but could possibly just be painfully shy? We all just assume that this very compassionate christian has pegged this kid’s problem, when he obviously seems to be more concerned about every other kid’s learning experience during his class. 25 years ago when i was a first grader, hoping not to get called on to read aloud, i had to read to the class & got stuck on a word. I was so shy, it was nerve wracking enough for me to read aloud, let alone get stumped. Between the obvious impatience of my teacher, and every eye in the class staring at me, it was too much. I got moved down to the middle reading group but yet had no problem reading…silently. Maybe Ron just has stage fright.