The obvious thing to do would be to buy every man, woman and child living in Sri Lanka their very own Hohner Blues harp. Think of it as a cultural contribution on a global scale.
Buy a small mountain, have it carved into a sculpture of your face. Or Bart Simpson’s face, whatever floats your boat.
Or buy a whole hundreds-mile-long strip of farmland in some empty state, hire some Japanese rice paddy farmers/artiststo do sequential frames of a storyboard, and fly over it with a plane equipped with a shutter mechanism to make an animated movie…preferably something silly.
Unfortunately, a mere one billion isn’t quite pyramid-building money, though. You’d need to win at least 4 more of the things
Buy the Washington Redskins. Change the name to the Washington Honkies.
Visit the town of Twatt, Shetland, Scotland.
Visit the town of Twatt, Orkney, Scotland.
Find a worthy gentleman, with family roots in both communities.
[del]Bribe[/del] Persuade the Crown to make him a Lord of Parliament.
If you’re really against doing good then run for president.
[Capt. BuzzKil]
Actually the 1.6 Billion drawing will net you a $904 million payout…BEFORE TAXES.
Then Uncle Sam grabs 40% and you are left with around $550 Million
Hopefully with that you can still afford your groceries.
[/Capt. BuzzKil]
What should you do with a thousand megabucks? Give me $250,000. You know, for pointing you to Gibson & Barnes. 
I think you win.
As for me, I’d get a better house, better houses for my family and close friends and buy musical instruments.
I want to conduct a full symphony orchestra. Not just once, but regularly, so I guess I’d buy one and put them on a salary. Build a symphony hall. You know, next to the garage.
Buy a billion lottery tickets.
Work up a sweat each day in an attempt to spend it.
I expect some challenge in finding one, as less-than-excellent ones will likely crawling out of the woodwork after a big win like that.
I.e., I doubt many dopers currently have need for the skillset that a big jackpot winner will need.
Yeah you’d at least need a swimming pool full first.
This guy predicts that would only cost around $238 million, so you’d have some money left over, and obviously you could never count $238 million in pennies. That would take at least 60 years, and if you’re the average doper you don’t have that much time left. 
You’d also have to get them at least look gold first.
Probably the cheapest option. I doubt a billion dollars could get them gold leafed, but I could be wrong.
Then of couse, you have to dive in them.
A billion is a thousand million, right? I would pay off the mortgages and school loans of all my friends, and if some friends didn’t own homes, I would buy them houses. I would pay all taxes and utilities. I would buy 2 houses in Scotland (one for me, and one for my friends) and two in France. I would buy a horse farm somewhere in the states and hire the current manager of my boarding barn to run it. I would give my niece and nephew and their families a couple of million. I would give a couple million to my favorite charities.
The OP specifically said no charities or helping others-he wants to blow it on selfish stuff.
And that’s a difficult, noble feat.
I would pay for the development of cats-specifically, making them smarter and giving them opposable thumbs. Nothing good will come of this, I assure you.
Family Guy has explored certain practical considerations with a Scrooge McDuck swiming pool.
[quote=“Riemann, post:56, topic:823304”]
Family Guy has explored certain practical considerations with a Scrooge McDuck swiming pool.
[/QUOTE]LOL, yeah, after I typed that I figured you’d probably also need to build a real life Iron Man suit in order to actually swim in it.
I think I’d try being an Agent of Chaos. Announce that I will be dropping $1 million over a spot in the desert. 1 hour before the drop, specify the location. Then dump $1 million in small bills out of an airplane, loose. Watch the base instincts play out.
Yeah that’d be a nice thing to do. Pay off the debt and buy houses for a wide range of friends and family. It wouldn’t even cost that much (for a billionaire), probably a few million.
Louis CK on what he’d do with billions of dollars.
