What should I do?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have a 10 year old daughter who thinks she is 16. :wink: Lately she has been bugging me to let her shave her legs. Personally I did not start shaving until I was 13 and even then I still did not want to but my mom told me I needed to (I was a very immature and hairy 13 year old :D.)

I just think that 10 years old is to young to shave, but she does have pretty hairy, little legs and I can see why she would want to. She also has the usuall kid arguement that all her friends shave and she is the only one who does not. She has even asked if she could use products like Nair if I won’t let her shave.

I guess my main problem with her shaving is I just think that 10 is way too young to shave. I do not even remember thinking about stuff like that when I was her age. I still see her as my baby, not a person who is ready to shave! :eek: That just seems so grown to me. Maybe it is just me or the fact that she is my only child but I thought I had at least a couple more years until I had to deal with stuff like that.

So what do all the moms and ladies on the board think? Should I let her start shaving? I would appreciate any advise…

2

Tell her NO! She has the rest of her life to worry about shaving legs - she doesn’t need to worry about it now. I agree with you, ten is too young. I’d say stick to your guns and make her be a kid for a little while longer.

3

Shanin,

FWIW, I started shaving my legs at 10.

I suggest you tell her horror stories of cuts recieved while shaving, then tell her that shaving only causes the hair to grow back thicker and darker than before. And throw in that some blood born diseases can be passed through a razor cut (this is true).

After that if she still wants to do it, tell her no shaving, but that she can wax them ! It can be a female bonding thing (or should that be bongage ?) We all know waxing is no fun, if she wants it bad enough to deal with that, then heck let her have it. I know of ten year old girls who are wanting to shave off their pubic hair for crying out loud.

They grow up fast these days, this can be something to bring the two of you closer.

BTW, I am so sorry you weren’t able to make it last night.

4

Two points for you -

  1. While it is common for us all to reflect on “I was x years old when I was allowed to do such and such”, it’s not really all that relevant except when you are referring to things like being able to vote. Hell, I was 18 years old when I was legally allowed to drink, but my son will have to wait until he’s 21 :smiley:

  2. My mantra in parenting is “Pick your battles”. Is the issue really if your daughter has unhairy legs or is it something else? Like, maybe not wanting to look at signs she’s getting older?

When I was younger, parents often made daughters wait til they were 16 to get their ears pierced. Now, it’s more like how many pierces do they have while in first grade?

If this is truly a moral issue with you (“she’s only 10 and I don’t want her to appear to anyone to be a teenager”) and one where you are feeling like you need to draw the line then that’s your answer.

My views on how old a young girl “should” be to shave her legs are irrelevant. For raising my son (he’s now 16), there were things I was totally on the line about (I insist to this day that I know where he is at all times, that I have a way to contact parents at any house he’s at). For what I called “personal appearance issues”, as long as he wasn’t demeaning whole groups of people or potentially scaring his younger cousins, I didn’t see the value of fighting about it. His hair was green at Easter and Pink/Red for his cousin’s graduation. My dad didn’t even blink.

good luck.

5

I would start by checking out her friends. Yes, it’s true little girls grow up way too fast these days, but speaking as one who was ready to shave but not allowed, it can be ** VERY ** embarrassing!

Add to that the fact that “the” place to hang out in my small town is the local pool, and you get the idea - if you’ve got hair, you can’t hide it.

I would check out your daughter’s friends, the ones she is claiming are allowed to shave, to see if they actually do shave. If they do, I say let her do it too. It will make her life easier in the long run.

And you know what else? If you keep saying “no” chances are she’s going to end up doing it anyway. And chances are she’s not going to know how to do it, and will end up cutting herself, perhaps badly. On the other hand, if you give her permission and then talk to her about how to actually do it, and then SHOW her, then she will be much safer.

Good luck!

6

I agree with Brunetter on this one. My mom told me I wasn’t allowed to shave when I was 10 and I did it anyway and gave myself a nasty cut along my shin bone. After that she threatened to have my dad spank me if I shaved again and I wasn’t allowed to shave until I was 13! I had really hairy legs from the knee down after the first time I shaved and I had to walk around like that for 3 years. My friends were allowed to shave and I wasn’t and it was an awful feeling. I say, if her friends are really doing it than she might as well do it too. (That only goes for shaving though!) It will save her a lot of unnecessary pain and embarassment.

7

I’m with Rachelle and Brunetter. What difference does it really make if she’s allowed to shave her legs or not at age 10? This is a minor victory for her…let her have it.

8

I say hell no! I didn’t start shaving my legs until I was 23! :smiley:

(Really!)

Hmm, my first response would be to say no, but Rachelle makes a compelling argument. I’d hate to see one of my girls with nicked up legs by the time they were 16 though…

9

The above post may have seemed like I was saying I would make my daughters wait until they were 16 to shave their legs. What I meant was, if they start shaving at 10…oh never mind, you get it, right?

10

I vote yes- I was actually looking at my 11 year old neice a few months ago at the pool and thinking “Damn…she’s got some hairy legs!” If that seems to be the age that kids really are shaving, she may be really embarassed in gym class or the pool if she isn’t shaving. Why make childhood any harder?

More then likely she’ll lost interest quickly and stick to only shaving in the summer (like me).

…Was that my out loud voice??

Zette

11

Dont let her SHAVE!!!

Take her to get her legs waxed - tell her that she can be waxed anytime, then she will do it if she has to!

Shaving is dangerous and unsanitary, like Ayesha mentioned - an electric razor or wax is the only thing you should allow. Just my $.02

12

Athena My thoughts also, I want her to stay a child as long as possible. She has enough time to have to worry about stuff like this later.
Ayesha I have shown her my battle scars from shaving (and I have some bad ones) but that does not deter her. I have mentioned waxing to her and she wants no part of that! :slight_smile: She is curious about products like nair but if she is anything like me she will not be able to use it (I have very sensitive skin and I break out in a rash.)
Wring I’m a very firm believer in choosing my battles where my daughter is concerned. I consider myself very open minded, heck I cannot even get her to pierce her ears! I know that this is a sign of her getting older I just hate that she is all ready to shave her legs! That just sounds so grownup to me! :frowning:
Brunetter I have seen a couple of the little girls she goes to school with and I know for a fact one does shave. This one particular little girl seems very mature for her age (10) and I have an idea that this may be the reason my daughter wants to shave. My daughter kind of looks up to this little girl. I know for a fact that my daughter would not shave her legs without permission, thankfully she minds very well. I know when I do let her start to shave I will definately show her first.
Rachelle To bad that happened. I know to this day I have a bad scar along my shin also.
Falcon I’m still in the thinking about it phase but more than likely I will {maybe:confused:}
Demo I know I have read on the board before that you shave but do you mind if I ask why? I’m curious.
Zette That’s one of the main reasons I want to let her shave. She is pretty hairy and I do not want her to be embarresed and I know how cruel kids can be. She likes to wear shorts a lot and she feels self conscience about her legs.

She woke up early one morning not to long ago and was watching TV when and info-commercial came on about NADS hair remover. Since then she has been begging me to buy it for her because it is supposedly “pain free”, yeah right! I had to explain to her that you can’t believe everything you hear on TV.

13

I preface this by saying you have to do what is right for your own family.

I say give her the various hair removal options: chemical (nair), wax, psuedo wax (lemon-sugar stuff), shaving, or not shaving at all. Then let her decide.

As others have expressed, it is not that big of a deal. Also, if her other friends are doing it (which they probably are) she may be teased. Of course, this may be a good time to have her understand the value of making her own decisions based on her own needs and wants and not those of her peer group. Still she should make the decision. I think if you outright forbid her to do it she may do it anyway and not turn to you for permission/advise on more important issues such as birth control.

I also hated hearing that I couldn’t do something (like shave my legs, get a part-time job,etc.) because I should enjoy being a child. If you think back without rose colored glasses you may recall that being a child wasn’t all enjoyment.

14

Well, I started shaving when I started cycling long distance. Why? Well, most cyclists will feed you a line about it helping keep road dirt and crap off your legs, a cleanliness issue. This is partly true. Some will tell you it’s because of wind resistance. This is complete crap. The real reason cyclists shave their legs is vanity. That, and all the other cyclists are doing it, so it’s cool. I’ve actually had my legs waxed before, but it got kind of expensive so I stopped. Some parts hurt like hell, but mostly it’s not a big deal if you steel yourself first. I don’t know how I’d feel about my daughters waxing, but I’d prefer it over the hazards of shaving.

Now, I just like the look and feel of clean shaven legs. I don’t think psycat likes the stubble though. :smiley:

15

True life experience time :slight_smile:

I have two daughters. One, my natural daughter, is 12. I told her when she started shaving under her arms that she should wait as long as possible before shaving her legs, for the reason cited above - once she starts, it will come in coarser and darker, so she’ll have to keep going. She has been shaving under her arms (sporadically, she doesn’t like doing it so only does when required, like when going swimming somewhere that she can’t wear a t-shirt over her suit) since she was almost 10.

(Note when I say required, I do not mean required by me - when she feels it is required by the situation.)

My other (step)daughter is 10. Her mother announced about 6 months ago, when she was still nine, that she needs a bra.

:rolleyes:

Not even close. A month ago, mom decided that the 10 year old should start shaving her legs. This particular 10 year old is still more interested in bugs than boys, has to be reminded to brush her hair, couldn’t care less how she looks, etc. Mom has two other daughters, who are 14 and 13. The fourteen year old is frequently mistaken for 17 or 18. Mom is aging her kids way, way too fast in my opinion.

Anyhow, bottom line. I am absolutely not going to even request that the 10 year old shave her legs. The 12 year old can whenever she wants to start, because she is mature enough. The 10 year old is not. And the maturity factor is more important than the age factor. While shaving the legs is a “grown up” thing, I don’t see it as one that really stands out, like makeup, for example. Neither can wear makeup, and will not be allowed to for another couple of years. But if they want to shave their legs, I would be okay with that.

Shanin, from the situation you have described, I would let her remove the hair from her legs in some manner or other. With proper instruction and supervision.

16

** Shanin **

In reference to your allusion to NADS hair remover…

I’m 23 and I know that you can’t believe everything you see on tv, but to be honest, I ordered some because my roomates and i wanted to have some fun with it.
The day after it arrived, I invited my boyfriend over to participate in the NADDING festivities.
My male roommate has a hairy chest and so dos my boyfriend, so they were my primary targets.

After we all watched the NADS instructional video together, my roommate Jay methodically began to wax his chest with it (NADS is not exactly wax, just a honey and sugar compound of some sort, no heat involved).
Now Jay has a bunch of scars all over his body,but that’s another story. The point is, when someone laden with gruesome scars says “This kind of hurts a bit”, one should take that as a dire warning.

My boyfriend did not. He took of his shirt and said it was ok for me to go ahead and NAD his chest.
I followed the directions exactly, but i didn’t rip the stuff off properly and he cringed. I told him to hold still and ripped it off quickly, as I was instructed.

The poor boy doubled over in pain, was incapacitated for a few minutes while my roommate laughed. I tried not to laugh, but then he straightened up and I saw a large patch of missing chest hair and several little red dots of blood slowly welling.
Apparently it had ripped out a great deal of skin as well.

I swear I followed the instructions exactly, I just think that NADS may not be for everyone, especially those with sensitive skin.

*The last thing the woman from the instructional video said was “Please don’t give up on NADS- it really works.”

I dunno.

Sorry about the hijack, but my advice would be that letting your daughter shave is probably a much better idea.

17

Turpentine I was curious about NADS, I knew it sounded to good to be true. I will tell your story to my daughter to see what she thinks. I have a feeling I know what she will say since she has no tolerance for the slightest bit of pain. Thanks Turpentine:)

18

I too fell for the NADS “pain free” hair removal system. My friend, Dave, had ordered it for his girlfriend and she used it once and said it hurt too much and didn’t use it again so Dave gave it to me. (After I had already ordered mine, of course :rolleyes: ) I let the hair on my legs grow for about 2 weeks and then started the waxing process. I did the same as Turpentine and watched the video and followed the instructions exactly. I put the wax on my leg, placed the strip over it, rubbed it three times, pulled my skin tight and ripped that sucker off. Most of the hair came off but there were a few that stayed in my leg. Yes, it hurt quite a bit but it wasn’t unbearable. I would never even think about using this on my armpits or bikini area though! OUCH! I only waxed from the knee down on both legs (I only shave my knees and above my knees about once a month because there isn’t a lot of hair there.) Since then I only have to shave twice a week instead of every day and the only reason I shave twice a week is because I didn’t get every single hair out of my leg. I’m going to wait until this winter to let my hair grow out again and try it again though and then we’ll see if it really does get better/easier.

Anyway, just thought I’d share my NADS story. Also, for the record, my brother and his wife got NADS too and when my sister-in-law waxed the top of my brother’s foot, he almost cried it hurt him so bad! Just thought I’d throw that in there.

19

Why is ten too young? Maybe ten was too young for some women, but maybe not for this lady. Why don’t you show her how?

I asked my father to show me how to shave when I was 8. That was fun! I didn’t try it again for a long time.

Buy her an Epilady. that’ll change her mind after the first use.

20

Hey Dem, I don’t mind your stubble if you don’t mind mine!

Honestly, I think 10 is too young to be shaving or waxing or anything, but I don’t have daughters, well, not until recently anyway, and i am not very experienced with girlie issues.
I didn’t start shaving my legs until I was 24 or 25, I just didn’t grow much hair and what did grow was/is very light, thin and blonde. I probably wouldn’t shave my legs at all, but Demo shaves his so I feel obligated.