My daughter will be 10 years old in December, and she’s showing early signs of the onset of puberty (developing breasts, getting taller and curvier, moments of utter unreasonable-ness.) I noticed last night that the texture of the hair on her legs is starting to change, and that she’s getting self-conscious about that.
On the one hand, I don’t want her to grow up too fast, and she’s still very much a child in many ways; but on the other hand, I don’t want her to feel odd or out-of-place because I restrict certain things (like shaving her legs, obviously!) I remember being 13 or so, and feeling very self-conscious because I had (sparse) underarm hair and my mother wouldn’t let me shave - nothing worse than feeling totally out of place at that age!)
If this were your daughter, would you let her start shaving, or would you wait? If you have older daughters, when did you let them start shaving? (FWIW, I don’t really want this to turn into a referendum on shaving vs. not shaving. If you want that, start your own thread! )
Agreed. I could see not pointing it out to her or making her feel self-conscious about it, but if she feels self-conscious already, I imagine refusing to let her shave would be more damaging than letting her.
My mother was adamant that girls shouldn’t before they got their first period, but I talked her into letting me when eighth grade came and it hadn’t yet arrived. I can’t really imagine why a ten-year-old would want to especially since male classmates who might tease probably don’t see her much during shorts-wearing weather, but obviously YMMV.
If she wants to shave I’d say go ahead and let her. I wouldn’t encourage her to shave, but I don’t see any point in not permitting her to remove her own leg hair.
That said, I don’t know that I’d trust a 10 year old with a razor. An electric shaver would be easier for her to use.
Being a 20 year old male, and having no female siblings, Ive gotta ask: is personal grooming really something that most families make as a group decision?
I was left to start shaving whenever i felt like it, and to do so with the frequency i chose. Is it because I’m male, or my dad is hands off?
It’s because you’re male. Most girls decide they want to shave their legs because they’re afraid of/sick of being teased by other kids. Boys don’t get teased as much for having face hair, I’d imagine, unless they got it insanely early. Moms seem to care because you can cut legs up pretty badly if you’re young, still kidishly clumsy, and have no idea how to use a razor. I cut myself badly once - I still have the scar nearly 20 years later - and was made to use an electric razor instead for a while.
I started shaving my legs when I was about eleven, so she’s not quite too young. Has she specifically asked to shave? If not, I’d let it go.
I asked my mom because the girls at school were starting to shave, and I felt self-conscious. I used my mom’s electric razor. I’d definitely avoid a regular blade at this point. (Hell, I STILL slice up my ankles, even with a new blade! What can I say, I’m a klutz?)
My daughter hit puberty very early and was being teased by other little girls for being hairy. I bought her a razor the first time she asked. She was 8, iirc.
I figure there are other hills to die on.
I doubt if I’d let a 3 year old shave, but for the most part, if she’s old enough to show signs of puberty and she’s asking, let her shave.
Being a male, I doubt my daughter would choose to approach me about it, but if I heard from the mother that my child wanted to shave her legs, I’d have absolutely no problem with it.
I’d say yes, and that you should suggest it to her.
I’m not a woman. But I was terribly self-conscious at ages 11-13 about my facial hair.
Specifically - I grew exactly the sort of dime-store mustache you would expect a young boy to grow. It looked terrible and low-rent, and I knew it. I finally broke down and with a terrible amount of self-consciousness and shame asked my dad if I could shave it and if he would teach me how.
He just kinda blinked, shrugged and said, “Oh, you want to shave? I didn’t know. OK, let me teach you.”
LOL, that bastard. What I mean is, don’t wait for your daughter to ask - kids are really self-conscious at that age. Teach her how and let her decide if she wants to. But teach early.
Interesting side note - at age 29 I still grow only terrible, adolescent-looking hinge facial hair. Sigh. I would kill for some proper sideburns, but it’s just not to be.
Well, living in coastal Georgia, it’s pretty common to have shorts-wearing weather until January, so short and skorts are common fare during the school year. (And, in my experience, it’s the GIRLS who are more likely to tease about this sort of thing… very few creatures are more cruel than a pack of adolescent girls.)
Given my daughter’s development, I wouldn’t be surprised if she started her period within the next few months anyway, and I figure that a few weeks’ “practice” at shaving will help her develop some skill so that she doesn’t return to school with bits of toilet paper all over her knees and ankles.
I think we’ll test an electric shaver, but her skin is very much like mine, and electric razors leave me bleeding with thousands of little divots in my skin. (I also can’t use the "super-duper-extra-special 4- or 5-blade razors that are on the market. Any more than one or two blades leaves me with what I call Third Degree Razor Burn. I am literally very thin-skinned.) Again, this bit of lead time before school starts back in a month will give her a chance to figure out what works for her.
I probably will let her start shaving soon, since she’s asked about it, and since I see little harm in letting her. (And, as mentioned by Acantha, there are plenty of other hills more worthy of dying on.) I just wasn’t sure how other parents made this decision…
I don’t see a problem if she’s getting hairier given the social side of being that age…egad. Though I really wish I felt comfortable skipping it altogether…but I’m 34, not 10, and not just hitting puberty. In winter I let it go, nobody’s going to see, I don’t care.
I’d say let her, and help her figure out what works for her.
I struggled with the same thing with my daughter. She was fairly hairy and some of the kids made comments about it. I decided to let her shave at about age 10 after coming to the realization that it’s just hair. She has been allowed to wear the hair on her head as she saw fit for a very long time, so why not? Three years later she is neither promiscuous nor does she smoke cigarettes.
It is my opinion that all parents look upon their offspring as younger than they really are. They think they are now what they were yesterday. So she may be 10, but in your unconscious mind she is only 9, and in her mind, she’s 11.
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