What should I look for in a vacuum?

Besides sucking power? Is that even a thing that can be measured?

Background: We’ve had the same vacuum for like over 10 years. We haven’t had as many reasons to use it since we switched from carpet to floorboards a while back. Then when we finally decide to drag it out, we found out its broken, and my parents bought a new one. That one’s gone kaput too

I want to buy a decent vacuum but I have absolutely no idea how to shop for one. It could be $50 or $500, I don’t even know the price range or what company makes good ones. Are there sucking power levels that I should be looking for? The only thing I really know about vacuums is that a Dyson is like $600 and I’m not spending that much on a vacuum, and there’s some debate about bag vs. bagless. I just want something that sucks normal carpet crap and possibly give me a blowjob when I’m bored without ripping off my penis. Ignoring that last part because I’ll make due, what should I be looking for in a vacuum and how much should I spend on it?

Well, there are plenty of comparison reviews online that will assist you in finding a vacuum that doesn’t suck.

But I want a vacuum that sucks!

**What should I look for in a vacuum? **


The Dysons are pretty impressive and easy to maintain. Everything comes apart for cleanup with ease. The beater brush and filters are simple to get at. They do a great job picking up dirt. It is the best vacuum I’ve owned. Overall I like the no bag feature though dumping it is a little messy.

You can get a Dyson for $400 or less. On sale you might get close to $300.

I would go with a highly-rated bag model in the $180-200 range.

The absurd pricing of Dyson is akin to Monster Cables and Bose tabletop units - they’re nice, but rarely the best and competitors at one-third the price test as well or better.

Bagless is a huge fad but it has two downsides: the vacuum has to stay sealed to work, and IME the parts fit and seals are failing within a year. Once they start to leak, they don’t suck as well and often leak dust. The other gotcha is that while they don’t have the expense of bags, they veyr often do require replacement of one to three filters,which can be pricey - as costly as a year’s bags. Get a bag unit that uses a standard bag you can get in bulk from third-party suppliers.

Bagless units also seem to be much, much louder overall, but that may just be my experience.

If you really want a quality vacuum, buy a mid-range Miele or Sebo. Miele, like Dyson, makes a cheap-end product that is no value. $5-600 for one of these European HEPA-equivalent units is a far, far better investment than a Dyson. Yes, Dyson buyers crow about how great they are… because they have to justify the expense and likely have never owned another vacuum of genuine quality. Sure, a Dyson Ball is fantastic compared to the $80 Dirt Devil it replaced… but use a Sebo a few times, or better yet, for ten years, and you’ll understand what a ticky-tacky (and grossly overpriced) piece of crap Dysons really are.

I bought this Siemens not too long ago and I’m very happy with it. Then last week my neighbour’s hoover broke just before the in-laws were coming over so he quickly borrowed mine. He went out and bought the same one the next day, so that’s two votes you have there. I bought it because it got the top rating in the consumers’ mag my parents get, and the price is really good.

Here’s why I like it:
(ETA sorry, turns out I need to work on my hoover terminology :stuck_out_tongue: )

  • Loooong cord.
  • Looong uhm… stick? Whatever, I don’t have to bend my back.
  • The head/movey/sucky thing moves really well, you want to manoeuvre flat and around bends to go under the bed etc. You need it to stay flat on the ground.
  • Great power.
  • The HEPA filters we need for my SO’s allergies.
  • All the add-ons: upholstery and a duster-type-thing.

Hope that helps! :slight_smile:

One thing that Dyson has is that it’s engineered well and lasts for a long time. I had a couple of $100-200 bagless vacuums before that which worked well out of the box but started failing after a year. I think their seals started to give up. I got a Dyson from Craigslist and it’s worked great. It’s over 10 years old and it’s still going strong. So take the reviews with a grain of salt. They are reviewing the out-of-the-box performance and all vacuums will perform well when they are new. The reviews don’t say how well they perform after 5-10 years. I doubt any cheapo vacuum will last that long regardless of how well it performed initially.

Another Dyson datapoint:
I had a top-rated (and very expensive) Hoover bagless. It had awesome suction, at least for the first 5 minutes, and then the fines filter would get clogged with the ubiquitous Arizona dust. I was constantly cleaning that damn filter. My Dyson has a HEPA final filter that I wash maybe every 6 months or so. Even when it’s dirty, the vacuum performs well. Another example - the beater brush. In all my other vacuums, the beater brush was always getting tangled with string or carpet threads, etc. I was always having to take it apart and clean it. In the the decade I’ve owned my Dyson DC-17, I’ve never had to free the brush (although I can see plenty of string wrapped around it). It is just designed to not seize up, even with a heavy string load.

<slow clap>

We like our Oreck XL. It does just fine on our Pergo. The motor on our first one finally conked out after 10? 15? years. I took it to the local Oreck store to see about having it repaired, but instead walked out with a refurbished model, which has served us well for a couple years now. It looks like a new one will run in the neighborhood of $200.

As I remember the Consumer Reports reviews of vacuum cleaners, they recommend upright models for carpeted floors and canister models for bare floors. Dyson machines didn’t do very well, as I remember and some of the top-rated ones were relatively inexpensive ($200 or so). Personally, I have a Hoover upright machine that uses filter bags.

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

No wait - what about the quantum model? Vacuum energy. :wink:

Miele. Sucks the nails out of your floor.

My work here is done.


You know there are several words for people that make snarky posts like this immediately after someone posts about Dyson.

I’ve never had a really expensive Vacuum but I did have a Consumers top rated Kenmore and a very good Hoover before that. The Dyson works great compared to both.

Another vote for Miele. Absolutely love it. Also, look at some videos that compare Dyson and Miele. There’s really no comparison - the Miele blows Dyson out of the water every time.

I’ve had two Dysons, the first one was the worst purchase of my life. The second was a replacement for the first that they finally gave me after a year and half a dozen trips to the shop - that one did the same thing. They both slipped gears, resulting in the most horrifying sound - and very little vaccuum.

I have a Miele. Its good, but not cheap. I have a Dirt Devil that I got on sale at Target for $29 - it is WONDERFUL - granted, it isn’t the Meile, but the Meile was $400 or something. I have an Oreck that is twenty years old and is now my basement vaccuum - works pretty well.

Another vote for Miele. Ive had mine for 15 years and the only problem I had was when the junction at the handle and the long metal tubular wand got torqued by DH and broke off. Its not a power tool!

Cleans hardwood floors and carpets equally well of cat hair. Easy to carry the canister up and down stairs too. The bags and filters used to be rather exxy but now there are cheaper versions.

Something you might perhaps bear in mind when considering something that is more pricey but is supposed to last longer:

I watched a consumer report docu thing about that was about washing machines, but essentially I think the same thing probably applies. They showed various calculations and tested various different models. They concluded that all else being equal, you should not pay more money for something to last longer. After about 7 years technology advances so far that you are better off buying a new model, which will be better and more energy efficient.

Dammit, that was my line.