There are many fine Hentai Strip Poker Programs available.
He’ll either give you a raise (you’d have given him one) or fire you.
Go on, live a little.
When you have the machine set up just the way you want it, use Ghost or Drive Image and make a copy of the hard drive contents. Retain this copy for the next time this happens, whereupon you wipe the hard drive, restore the copy, and give it back to him. Total time elapsed, half an hour.
Actually, half and hour to restore the hard drive, and then three hours to download and install all of the Windows security patches that came out since you created the image…
The other option is to take a page from Dilbert’s book:
Pointy-Haired Boss: “My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?”
Dilbert: “Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot.”
PHB: “Oh, that’s right.”
Dilbert (to Wally): "I wonder if he’ll ever realize we gave him an ‘Etch-A-Sketch.’ "
Indeed, but TightVNC also includes a compact web server; you can remotely access/control the machine from an ordinary browser, running under any OS, anywhere.
There was a program I loved when it was back in the Windows95 era. It was called ROACHES and these cockroaches would hide behind the icons on the screen. If you didn’t hit the keyboard for awhile they would start running all over the screen. You used your mouse to splat kill the roach. It even made the crunchy-splat noise and left a little smear on the wallpaper. The rest of them would run and hid behind the icons.
I’ve got it! (I think.) I’m gonna change all the sounds on his PC from the Windows defaults! Anybody got any links to sites with funny .wav files? (I’ve got a .wav of Apu saying, “Thank you for coming, I’ll see you in hell!” that’s gonna go on there.
There was one I heard a long time back, which was a cheesy mid-western voice: “Hey, everyone, come over here, I’m looking at porn!!”
Make that his ‘minimise’ sound 
Good timing on the thread Tuckerfan, I have to completely rebuild my 'puter, and decided to do it right this time. My own personal thanks go to all of you with all of the good suggestions so far. I also have a question of my own to ask…
I’ll be running Norton AV Corporate (the big bucks I pay to this lousy school finally come in handy), adaware, spybot, a pop-up blocker, and I plan to look into one of the alternatives to IE (haven’t decided which yet). I also want to run a personal firewall, and here is where I need some advice.
I have been given two links for free personal firewalls: Zone Alarm and Tiny Personal Firewall. Any doper experience with either of these, or recomendations for another, hopefully better, alternative? Do I really need to run a firewall, or am I being overly reactionary?
Thanks for any and all input.
I’ve used Zone Alarm and like it. (Certainly less annoying than my current firewall.)
I prefer the Sygate Personal Firewall - seems to do the job, and far less intrusively than Zonealarm.
Adobe Acrobat Reader is also worth installing as standard.
I had a website bookmarked with a whole bunch of Princess Bride quotes as wav files - but it dissapeared a while back
Grim
www.homestarrunner.com - grab some of the sound packs from there. I like Homestar doing the Windows Startup sound and yelling “Beleted!” whenever you empty the recycle bin, and I have Strong Bad’s “Oh, electronic mail” new mail alert as well as his shut down message (“It’s about time. Why don’t you go outside or something? Nerd”).
Stupid boards ate my first response…
Anyway, same here. I used Zonealarm for several months and finally ditched it in favor of a hardware solution. ZA was extraordinarily irritating, particularly the way it would crash games and constantly bug me about normal benign 'net traffic. If you’re going to drop $30 or $40 on a firewall, you might as well get a cheap hardware one. Much more convenient and friendly to work with.
And you need a firewall. Life without firewalls is scary.
Oh, btw, akennett, Mozilla Firefox is a very good alternative to IE. Lightweight and packed with features. It’s also pretty fast.