I originally thought (apparently incorrectly) this was a term describing older (male) cross dressers or M to F transgendered people until I heard it used on the SDMB some time ago to describe women who like to hang out with gay man as their primary acquaintances, and now in a recent thread about women who like to see (or read about) gay male porn, it’s used more specifically as a term describing women who are turned on by gay male sexual interaction.
It is just a woman who is a “hanger on” in the male gay scene or more specifically a woman who is titillated by man on man action. What’s the straight dope?
I’ve always understood it to mean het women that hang around gay men and the gay “scene”. I never really assumed it to mean that they were turned on by guy/guy stuff, but have known some who thought they could “change” the guys they hung around with.
I’m curious to see what people say as well. My boyfriend says I’m a fag hag cause 3/4 of my best friends are gay men. However, one of those guys says I can’t be a fag hag cause I’m bi. Anyone know the actual rules???
I consider myself a fag hag, mostly because A.) I adore gay men. I love men in general, but I’m not one of those girls who can have platonic, comfortable relationships with heterosexual men. So, to me, gay men are the best of all worlds. B.)I am a flamboyant, funny person who has gone through periods of deep introspection before I came to terms with who I am. I love musicals, clothes, dancing, and campiness. I love sex. In short, I am your stereotypical gay male, trapped in a woman’s body.
I’ve had a good, gay male friend since I was 15, and if I didn’t, I desperately missed that void in my life. Am I sexually turned on by two men together? Nope. Doesn’t do anything for me.
naw matt, possibly only if you then qualify the statement by specifying “lesbian fag hag”…
As I have experienced it (and this is imho), to be a reaaaal fag-hag you have to be a straight chick. Rules include being very possessive of “your” fags, and behaving snottily towards dykes at the clubs and parties to which said fags are your “ticket”. That is at lease the impression myself and my friends experienced way back when I was on the scene.
Fag-hag is really quite a derogative term. There is a huge difference between being a straight girl with gay mates and being a fag-hag imho. People who refer to themselves as fag-hags probably are.
Over here there is also a rather new phrase of “fruit-flys” which are straight guys who hang out with gay guys. So who hangs out with the poor dykies? We are so uncool sniff… We want pet-hetros too! (just kidding!! jeez already!)
Wait, if Iteki’s right, I’m in no way a fag hag - I try to hook my boys up (in fact, I’m working on a project right now). Wish me luck!!!
Oh yeah,and about the sexual attraction thing - I think it’s cute and sweet when they kiss, but I’m absolutely not attracted to anything else guys wanna do to each other!
<Granny Squish rocks back in her chair and takes another slug from the Jack Daniels bottle> Well, waaaaaaaaaay back in the '70s when I started going out, fag hag was not a derogatory term. It was just us girls who liked to have a good time and found ourselves with a bunch of gay male friends who knew how!
It’s not so much that it’s safe or non-threatening (and my getting turned on by m/m erotica has never intruded on my RL friends–that would be horribly rude), it’s that gay men don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re too fat or too short or have a bad complexion or curse like a sailor or laugh at crude jokes. So you can relax and have a good time without worrying about any of that bullshit. If, like me, you love to dance, you’ll find that at a straight club there are just too many handsome men who will stare at the dance floor as if it’s going to eat them alive–in a gay or mixed club, you don’t even need a partner! Just get up there and shake it!
As far as I know, a fag hag can be any orientation.
The term does not preclude transgenders, although a drag queen or occasionally crossdresser would generally not qualify (you’d have to be full time). I do know a post-op transsexual who is a fag hag, or at least was last I heard.
This is the term my gay friends use for me, since they too felt that “fag hag” was derogatory sounding, even though most of the gay guys I know who use it do so affectionately. I have no idea how I became a fairy godmother, only that I seem to attract gay men and vice versa. I have no desire to convert anyone, nor do I get turned on by guy-on-guy hanky panky, although I have played matchmaker for a few men. I like hetero guys, too (after all, I married one) but maybe because I spent a lot of time hanging out with artsy types, I just encountered more gays than the average girl would have in day to day life.
Wish me luck!!!