I was in my garden today when I almost touched this big guy. I think he’s some sort of orb weaver - he has a beautiful web. Maybe tomorrow in the dew I’ll get a picture of it. He’s huge, about the size of my palm. What kind is he? What can I do to keep him eating bugs in my garden?
Looks like a Black and Yellow Garden Spider, Argiope aurantia.
They get that big, and can be really startling when you come upon them unexpected.
When startled they rhythmically pull and relax on their web causing them to oscillate forward and backward. When you are walking through a corn field and suddenly come upon one who starts that the old adrenaline really goes to work.
I should add that this usually happens when you are nose-to-nose with one of them.
These guys make a zig zag or zipper pattern in the middle of their web.
Are you sure? He isn’t black, he’s brown and, like, beige. He definately does have a zigzag pattern in the web with that thicker web stuff, and when I encountered him he definately did a terrifying little in and out dance at me. I meant to go take a look at him this morning but I forgot.
Smash him with a rock. You’ll thank me later.
Holy crap, there’s two of them! On a lower web, there’s another big spider, although not as big as Spider 1. It looks a little different - skinnier. I guess it’s the male?
Probably not. Spiders don’t normally live communally, or even as couples. The other spider could be a mate, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Nope, the picture isn’t detailed enough. But I think it’s a pretty good guess. Garden spiders do vary in color a bit, and are about the most common thing in that size with bright yellow accents.
I’ll take a picture of Spider 2 this evening, if I can. To me it sure looked like those pictures of the male spider, and the web was right under the female’s web.
Totally a garden spider. A beneficial species.
But because it is a spider, you must smash him with a rock.
I once watched one of these spin a large web between the branches of an orange tree. I was laying in a hammock, contemplating the beautiful symmetry of the web and how marvelous the universe is to create a creature capable of weaving it. At the peak of my reverie, a bird came screaming in from the right, blowing right through the web and nabbing that spider in full flight, leaving only the tatters of that perfect web to waft in the breeze. Circle of Life.
No no no. Smashing him with a rock may give the spider the opportunity to grab onto said rock, then run 'round it and jump on your hand, which would be scarier than the Apocalypse.
As such, I recommend spraying him with the garden hose, then running around flailing your arms and screaming.
It’s a she.
It WAS a male, you guys! It knocked up my lady spider!
She’s got an egg sac now!
Leave the outside spiders alone: they eat bugs.
If you can see a spider, it’s likely a female. If you must be a spider, then be a female spider.
It looks like a banana spider. It’s hard to tell for sure from your photo, but it looks like it has the same banded legs. We get them around here - every couple of years there is an invasion and they are everywhere.
No offense intended, of course. 
Praise Og for birds! Man, I hate spiders. And they’re ENORMOUS here. I’m pretty sure I saw one carrying off a small child the other day - not that I have a problem with that.