In the Seattle area, we try to make fun of all the neighborhoods and suburbs equally. We used to have a great local comedy show, which developed stereotypes for every collection of houses in this half of the state. After all, it’s only fair to spread it around.
In North Carolina, Cary (just outside Raleigh) is known as the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees. Strip malls, SUVs, subdivisions, and transplanted Northerners galore.
Cicero (as in the philospher). What commercials?
motorgirl and Jman - is the Rongovian Embassy still around in Trumansburg - address 1 Main Street? (IIRC, I think it was in Trumansburg). Or has it finally closed? During my college career, I’d spent many a night I couldn’t remember the next morning at that place. And do the cops still ticket you for doing 36 mph just inside the city limit?
Ah, Trumansburg - home of the Moog Synthesizer. Nice little town, except for the speed traps.
Here in Houston, we tend to make fun of Pasadena, or “Stinkadena” as it is more affectionately termed. Denizens of this industrial town are usually pick-up drivin’, Copenhagen dippin’, trailer-house livin’ rednecks. Most of the oil refineries in the area are in Pasadena, hence its nickname. You may recall the movie “Urban Cowboy”, and the club “Gilley’s”, which was located in Pasadena, Texas. Fairly realistic movie, IMHO.
Walden now has the distinction of being home to the grand master of the american knights of ku klux klan - New York/New Jersey chapter - Rev. James Sheley.
The suburbs mocked here are the same ones mocked everywhere, namely the ones in NYC and LA.
(Excuse my spelling, I don’t have an atlas handy)
Burbank, Poekipsy, Da Bronx, Encino, Trenton, Pasadena
I’m born and raised in the suburbs of Columbus, OH. Each 'burb has its own unique feel. However, even when I was a little kid, it seemed that Newark got the brunt of the abuse. It’s jokingly called “Nerk”, after the way the residents there are apt to pronounce it.
Another abused 'burb is Groveport…just south of Columbus. Its often called “Grove-tucky”, which pretty accurately describes it.
Of course, C-bus itself can often be the butt of jokes. I think that being born/raised in a city is like having a little brother. You can pick on it yourself, but as soon as an outsider says a bad word about it, you find yourself defending it!
Kepi, take heart. I used to work in Admissions, and every year in September all the top Dallas-area high schools would schedule their College Fairs for the same time. A bunch of us in Admissions, from all over the country, would trek down to Dallas for a week of work–and also a lot of socializing with one another.
I was hanging out with the admissions guy from another VA college, and he was going apeshit to learn that Mesquite was nearby. It turns out that his fraternity had always watched (for shits and giggles, or maybe it was for a drinking game) the Mesquite Rodeo, which was broadcast on cable. Mind you, he was the most conservative, preppy, white-button-down-shirt and khakis guy you’d ever meet. So was his college and every person in his fraternity. He said we HAD to go to the Mesquite Rodeo and insisted it would be the highlight of our week.
So he did indeed wrangle a bunch of us together and we all went to the Mesquite Rodeo that Saturday night. And it WAS a kick-ass time. It’s one of my fondest memories of that year of travel! Mesquite will always have a fond place in my heart.
I’m glad you had a great time at the rodeo, Cranky!
It’s ironic (for the Irony Police, if you feel I’ve misused that word, you can bite me!) that Mesquite has this reputation of being a bunch of goat-roping rednecks because of the rodeo. Because I would wager that 90% of the population rarely, if ever, attends the rodeo. Heck, I lived there from the time I was born until I was in my mid-20s and went to the rodeo maybe twice. And that was only because they gave out free tickets to all the school kids each year when the season opened.
As an Atlantan, I tend to hear people pick on South Georgia, which is behind in the economic and educational curve.
I’m sure the following would also apply for Parma, Ohio as well.
You may be from Cheektowaga if –
- Your favorite restaurant –
- has its windows covered in neon beer signs
- has Quick Draw monitors scattered all around the dining area
- has a bar in the front, with the dining area in the back
- has no waitresses younger than 50
- has a non-smoking section consisting of one table
- is in an old house, with an apartment upstairs
- has its name in light colored shingles on the roof
- is host to bands with names like “Joey Delvecchio and his Orchestra” or “The Polka Puretones”
- has a menu that looks like it hasn’t changed since 1958
- is regularly cited for health code violations - which must mean the food is really good
-
You have rosary beads hanging from your rear view mirror – and a big Infant of Jesus doll in the back.
-
You live on a street that –
- is named after something French
- has a girl’s name
- has a name with religious/Catholic overtones (“Rosary Drive,” “St. Jude Court,” “Assumption Circle,” etc.)
- has a name that is impossible to pronounce by most people outside the town
-
You get insulted because people don’t pronounce your name properly, even though it’s 15 letters long with only two vowels.
-
You drive a pre-cab forward era Chrysler product (Aries, Reliant, Dynasty, New Yorker, anything else built on the K platform, etc.).
-
Your actually watch the Mother Angelica show on EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network) on a regular basis.
-
You actually watch that show on EWTN where they recite the Hail Mary over and over again, for hours and hour.
-
You protested at the offices of Adelphia Cable because they considered replacing EWTN with Comedy Central.
-
You can talk for hours on end about which restaurant in town has the best fish fry.
-
You wear white socks with dress shoes, and black socks with sneakers.
-
You consider the following “high culture” –
- sitting on the 50 yard line at Bills games
- a Starving Artists watercolor of Pope John Paul II hung just right on your wood paneled wall
- the Dynatones at the St. Stanislaus Day festival in Town Park
- the Variety Club Telethon
- Sunday mornings when many Buffalo area radio stations switch to an all-polka format
- Channel 7 Eyewitness News, especially on nights when lots of houses burn down
- a good fireman’s picnic or lawn fete.
-
You actually know what a “fireman’s picnic” and “lawn fete” are.
-
You end most of your sentences with the filler word “der.”
-
Pierogies are a regular part of your diet.
-
You spend more time and money maintaining your lawn than your house.
-
You pronounce it “Chickatavaga,” and you’re not joking.
-
You ever bowled a 300 game.
-
Your name is Joanne – and you pronounce it with three syllables.
-
You ever went to a wedding reception in a bowling alley.
-
You are a third generation American, but you still have an accent that makes you sound like you’re from the “da’ olt country der.”
-
You go to church on Saturday.
-
You ever said “When dat der Waltengalleria opens up der, I’ll never shop der. Dat der Troowaymall is just fine for me der.”
-
You call the Walden Galleria “Dat bik mall der where dat Leonard Post used to be der.”
-
You ever placed a quarter page “Thank you St. Jude” ad in the Cheektowaga Times.
-
You have one or more of the following on your front lawn –
- pink flamingo
- “Mary on the half shell”
- shiny orb on a pedestal
- silhouette of a hick leaning against a tree
- shrine to your favorite saint
- shrine to the Buffalo Bills
- a concrete goose that’s dressed up funny
- a lawn jockey – that’s black
- wooden cutout of a fat butt bending over
- plastic deer
- jugs filled with water, because you think it keeps dogs from peeing on your lawn
-
You have a “kegmeister” in your living room – filled with ice cold Genesee Cream Ale.
-
You carry a scanner or walkie-talkie with you everywhere.
-
You still don’t eat meat on Friday.
-
Butter seems strange unless it comes in the form of a lamb.
-
You were ever in a traffic jam that formed because a nun was walking slowly across the street.
-
You have a light bar on the roof of your Plymouth Reliant.
-
You consider a marriage between parishoners of Infant of Prauge and Mother of Divine Grace a mixed marriage.
-
The extent of your world travels includes Las Vegas, Florida, and Depew.
Fife, Lynwood & SeaTac were the most frequent targets of “white trash” jokes.
I can’t comment on LA suburbs, but… Poughkeepsie, the Bronx & Trenton as NYC suburbs??? You’ve gotta be kidding. The Bronx is very much urban (as well as in NYC proper), and Poughkeepsie & Trenton are just a wee bit removed from the Big Apple (84 and 61 miles away, respectively).
Now, if you had mentioned Paramus or Hicksville I’d be inclined to agree. 
Ukulele Ike - You’re right about the Polish thing, but I get the impression Parma folks are still looked down on no matter where the family came from. And thanks for the extra background on Ghoulardi - I couldn’t remember the years. Personal fave I’ve caught on tape…the “Parma Place” skit, a spoof on “Peyton Place.” LOL!
pldennison - Thanks for the posting the proper “Magnolia” info. I forgot about the company name.
elmwood - Holy crap! Cheektowag DOES sound an awful lot like Parma, especially the bits about the pierogies and the “Mary on a halfshell.”
Jonesing for a Pierogie,
Patty
I grew up in a small town,so I have to add my two cents.We pretty much slammed/looked down our noses at the larger towns.Dover,in particular,was called “Doverico”.Billy Joel called in pretty well when slamming a larger suburban town.“Who needs a house out in Hackensack?Is that all you get for your money?”
I can see that for sure…especially Whitney Point. But I figured they really didn’t count as suburbs…just really small towns. T-burg is pretty nice, though.
Jman
Yes, the Rongo is still kicking. I haven’t been there though…maybe I should go…I’ll only be here another year.
Jman
elmwood: Dat der last post of yers der was hilarious.
And, why have none of my fellow Canucks not mentioned Scarborough? Or should I say Scarberia as the locals call it. Miles of 1970’s strip malls, car dealerships, absurdly wide streets with islands down the centre, windswept, treeless, hot in summer, unbearably cold in winter, having a fine selection of chain restaurants (you choose - McDonald’s, Wendy’s, The Keg, …), walled by monotone apartment buildings, … the prototype burb at its inception, the prototype blunder in retrospect.
In the town where I grew up, Columbia, Howard County MD, we made fun of a town called Elkridge, which is simply white trash central, centered on US1 and featuring several trailer parks. Where I’m living now, in Baltimore County, the favorite suburb to put down is Arbutus, which is also declasse but has many more single family houses.
Here in vancouver (bc, not wa) the regular target seems to be Surrey, a wonderful place consisting of old broken down industrial parks, dirty prostitutes and kids who spend every penny they earn on getting that big loud muffler for their car. I’m sure there are some parts of surrey that aren’t scary to drive through at 120kph, but I haven’t seen them.
The other suburbs get their turn under the gun, but Surrey takes the brunt.
It’s funny, however, that vancouver propper has the scummiest neighbourhood in canada, but doesn’t get much flack for it. I guess it’s because it is so completly removed from “regular” life in the city that people don’t think it actually is PART of the city. Those vancouverites out there know which section I’m talking about… but to all those of you who plan on visiting this wonderful city in the future, stay away from East Hastings street. Ugh.
anyhoo… that there is my 2c
-nigel