bouv, it’s cool that you ended up in a MFM and just rolled with it, and ended up having a good time. A lot of guys are pretty closed-minded about that. I’ve had an MFM (DP, specifically) fantasy for a long time and I’ve known several women who would’ve done it but their guy was afraid***** (if coupled) or we couldn’t find a guy we trusted enough who would’ve been OK with it (otherwise).
The other time, my GF was approached by a female friend who wanted to join our bed, and we talked seriously about it (and I was envisioning the gold at the end of the rainbow) but it made my GF a little uneasy, as she suspected the other girl was a little too into me. Seemed plausible, so I backed off again.
***** You know it’s homophobia because the same guys have expressed interest in inviting a girl.
Geez, what surprised me the most about it? There are so many things.
First that it happened at all. The fact that it happened in the back of an SUV because the hotel we were all staying at was full and all of us were sharing rooms with friends. That they were still there when I returned from getting condoms. How about the friend of one of the women involved who watched from the front seat. (It was her SUV but she was married so she just wanted to watch.)
Oh yeah, the most surprising thing was that it was so frickin’ awesome. I mean as a guy I am conditioned to think it would be great but it was more amazing than I ever thought it would be. There was not a lot of couple weirdness because we were three individuals coming together. There also wasn’t a problem trying to please someone while concentrating on what was being done to you because we teamed up on each person as we went.
I’d say thanks for bringing back a great memory but this one doesn’t fade that far back.
#1: How I was actually too tired to really enjoy it (MMF).
Group of people went out clubbing, including my male friend and my current fuckbuddy. She started giving me major hints all night about how she wanted to experiment and have us both that night. He and I were into it, but we all stayed out really late drinking and dancing. Back at her place we started to get into it and she was on her back with me between her legs and him getting oral from her. The thing was, I was pretty wasted and exhausted from the dancing and the late hour. We all fooled around for about an hour, switching positions- nothing between he and I, she was just kind of taking turns with each of us- then the mood and energy kind of fizzled. I don’t think anyone came and he went out to sleep on the couch in the living room.
After 3-4 hours sleep, I awoke at attention and with newfound energy, and she and I went at it, then slept for another hour, then hit it again.
#2: How my stupidity kept it from happening (MFF).
At a party w/my then girlfriend and her good friend- they had known each other since they were kids. At the party the two of them were off in the corner talking together for most of the night, and at one point GF walks up to me with a sly little smile and says “we’re leaving”. Fine with me, because it was late and I had to be at work really early the next day. Driving the friend home, all I can think about is how badly I needed to pee. We got to the friend’s apartment building, I double-parked, and opened my door to let her out of the backseat. She was kind of like “oh- um, OK. See ya” and went into her building. When I got back in the car GF was like “what’s wrong with you? The plan was that we’d all get it on tonight!” Duuhhh. So I drive around the corner and find a parking spot and we walk back to her building. Of course, she had just moved there and GF didn’t know the apartment number, so we pressed every buzzer (at about 2 a.m.) but nobody buzzed us in. I peed against the building and we went home. I was such an idiot.
I don’t know what to tell you, I just find three-somes (and more) to be very erotic. The first time it was me, a girl, and another guy; I think I fucked her 5 times that night. Another time during a 4-some I fucked one girl 3 times, the other one 5 times, over maybe an 8 hour time span.
In my younger and meaner days I would kiss the other guy just to get that specific reaction. Nothing like scaring off the competition.
I would agree with that. I do find it strange though that someone would agree to being in a sexual situation with someone they had no interest in. Why bother?
The promise of uncomplicated sex with a really hot girl? For my part, the triangularity of the situation was pretty much incidental in each case. That’s not to say that teamwork doesn’t have its advantages if you’re looking for them. There’s definitely less pressure on the individual guys. She’s not there yet? Don’t hold back, buddy’ll pick up the slack. Yeah, it’s crass.
That being said, this was all in my callow youth and such a situation wouldn’t really hold a lot of appeal for me today.
More recently had the possibility of a MFF situation raised enough times that it’s hard not to give it some serious consideration. Ironically enough I’m a lot more hesitant about it. Naturally there’s the part of me that says “Hell, yeah!” but then there’s also the neurotic part of me that worries about screwing up a good thing.
I can sort of understand it, but not really. Like for me, I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where I was with a guy who wanted to bring a girl into it or another guy that completely turned me off. As a gay guy I wouldn’t want to be in a sexual situation with a girl. Even if it was a “You stay on your side of him and I’ll stay on mine.” kind of thing. I find the whole concept that people would put themselves in that situation rather a headscratcher. (and not that head!)
Slight hijack on terminology: I had heard that when you say MFM that it means there is no MM contact but MMF means there is. Same with MFF versus FMF. Can anyone confirm this?
To chime in: yeah, they’re great, but you’ve REALLY gotta screen your partners carefully (unless it’s a one-night stand sort of situation, I suppose). I’ve found that a lot of people have real emotional issues, specifically possessiveness, that are very well hidden until the clothes come off. It’s not pretty.
But if you find the right person (or people, I suppose)… it’s a blast!
I dunno, for me the presence of another dude wasn’t remotely a selling point, I was just neutral enough about it that I never really blinked.
I’m sure there are a lot of straight guys that feel pretty much the same way. I’m feeling pretty much the same way myself, now that I’m older and less of an indiscriminate horndog.
What I found suprising? Firstly that my wife agreed to it at all; I had been mostly joking when I suggested it. MFM threesome, myself and another friend of hers. It was strange, not what I was expecting, but a lot more fun than I expected. And there were no issues with homophobia or jealousy; we men simply took turns pleasuring her. Being around another man in a sexual situation didn’t bother me; he and I simply both knew that we had no sexual interest in each other.
What really suprised me - and her - was how much she got into it. She’s not normally multiorgasmic.
I suppose it does take a special relationship to pull this kind of thing off; I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone. Everyone knowing exactly where they stand and where things are going to go beforehand is key. Worked for us - my wife and I are still happily married going on 5 years now, and have had several threesomes both before and after getting married.
Who said anything about a man wanting to have sex with another man? I sure didn’t–I wouldn’t want to have sex with another man, myself. One of homophobia’s most basic and prominent forms is the fear of being associated with homosexuality by association through an act that isn’t necessarily homosexual by nature, and despite the fact that all male participants are heterosexual. Fear of being in an MFM threesome where the men don’t have to show affection towards each other at all (I can show you about 8 million Internet cites demonstrating this, if you don’t think it’s possible) because it would somehow label the male participants as “gay” is classic homophobia. It’s one thing just to say “Well, that’s not really my fantasy” and another to react to it with shock and disgust and refuse to participate because it would be “gay”. I’ve very rarely heard the former and much more often heard the latter WRT this particular fantasy.
It’s possible to have sexual interest in the act without having sexual interest in the participants. You should probably be into someone, of course, but you don’t have to be into everyone. Since mainstream society regards sex as ideally a private, intimate affair between two people who know each other really well (or at least really hit it off in a one-on-one situation), the taboo factor of inviting other people you aren’t attached to and don’t plan to be attached to can transform the whole thing into something else altogether. I wouldn’t make DP my “usual” sex act if I could, but the idea turns me on and I’ve always wanted to try it. The other dude is pretty much irrelevant, except for the obvious fact that there has to be one.
I’ve never heard that; I always assume MMF and MFF to be generic terms that don’t specify who does who. I use the more specific form (FMF, MFM, etc.) for added clarity, but personally if someone said MMF I wouldn’t assume the dudes were touching each other.
