What tasteless ideas for commercials have you had?

[Johnny_L.A]

My idea, ©2000:

Fade in on Japanese aircraft flying.

Fade out/in to white-on-black graphic: “On December 7th, 1941, Mistubishi aircraft surprised America.”

Fade out/in to archival footage of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Fade out/in to white-on black graphic: “This fall, Mitsubishi surprises America again.”

Cut to montage of the new Mitsubishi sports car zooming along a scenic, winding road.

Cut to white-on-black graphic: “The 20[05] Mitsubishi [Zero 260]. Surprising a road near you.”

[The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun]

I had a couple ideas:

First would be in a Palestinian suicide bomber school. Two suicide bomber students are walking together.

Suicide Bomber 1: I can’t wait to blow myself up and die for Allah!
Suicide Bomber 2: But what if you live, and don’t have that insurance?
Suicide Bomber 1: What insurance?
Duck wearing a beard and dynamite around him: AFLAC!

Go on from there

Next would be a commercial with some cheesy patriotic music playing, like Proud to be an American. They would show flags, cities, and finally when they reached a shot of the World Trade Center, a silhouette of a cockroach would walk past the screen.

[FriarTed]

@Sampiro

I.

II. Yuppie frau to a friend: "… and you know who else was gay? Grandpa Walton… Will Geer! Can you believe it! And one of the Darrins from BEWITCHED was gay, and Tab Hunter and Tyrone Power… and Ro-bear from HOGAN’S HEROES got caught in a men’s room soliciting recently and he’s ancient, and John Gielgud and Alec Guinness and Karl Malden all got arrested when they were at the top of their careers for renting male hustlers! And that gorgeous English guy Rupert Everett is gay and Robbie Williams! And I was reading just the other day that there Matt Damon was seen polishing some guy’s knob in the backroom of the Viper Club… I want to say Tobey Maguire but that’s not it…

Duck: AFFLECK!

Frau:… or maybe it was Elijah Wood’s…

Duck: AFFLECK!

Frau:… or Johnny Depp’s…

Duck: AFFLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK!!!
III. Voiceover as monastic chant fills background and images of the Shroud of Turin fill the screen: Some say it is the work of Leonardo da Vinci, others that it is the earliest known example of photography and the work of an unparalleled anonymous genius. We know it’s history to the Renaissance, but to millions of the faithful it is the burial garment of Christ, the son of God, the Redeemer of Mankind… the greatest physical link to the Almighty and the tangible proof of his Covenant… it has been credited with healings and miracles… but can it stand up to new heavy duty TIDE?
[images of a transparent washer, then a snow white sheet]
Tide… if it can wipe away the blood of Christ, think what it will do to your skidmarks.
IV. “This is Charlton Heston. Alzheimers is a condition that affects millions of Americans and their families, ultimately robbing them of their dignity and their memories long before killing them. Perhaps the worst part is the stigma. That’s why I say they’ll have it when they take it out of my cold dead hand. I am the NRA. Alzheimers is a condition that affects millions of Americans and their families. Michael Moore you deceitful fuck! Alzheimers is a condition that they’ll take from my cold dead hand. You blew it up. Thank you.”

“Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty Alzheimers!”

And I love Chuck Heston!
Was Will Geer gay?

(I actually had to re-read the Affleck one to get it! :smack: Do’h!)

And the Shroud of Turin- that’s SNL at its best-worthy!