What temperature is "Hot as F***"

40c is “a pretty hot day” and 45 is “stupid hot.”

I lived two years in Northern Cameroon where it was regularly 45 during the day and during hot season would not go below 40 even at night. No air conditioning anywhere. It was hot.

40 is when it goes from unpleasant to unbearable. I’ve never experienced ‘cold as fuck’ temperature.

ETA: Well, I should say that I’ve experienced what felt like ‘freezing’ weather, but that was because of the rain and wind, and was probably only about 10 degrees C (sub zero temps I experienced in the US were fine).

I would have died. We were in Thailand this summer and the heat - even though we were right next to the beach most of the time - was only bearable because we were on vacation and didn’t have to do anything.

I would think the only logical way to measure something like that would be to look at the phrase itself, and take “hot as fuck” to be the tempurature the human body is typically at while engaged in fervent sexual congress …

I was born and raised in a tropical country in Central America (El Salvador).

You know how a bunch of people in western countries die during a heat wave? Thousands of people died in France that one year.

I asked my uncle who is a doctor/surgeon with his own clinic in a midsize town outside San Salvador: Does anyone here die because it gets too hot?

He had never seen a single instance of that occurring in his 30 years of practice. Humans are fragile but surprisingly adaptable to their environment.

Oh, and it gets hot as fuck down there during the dry season (close to 40c)

Yeah, this is the trick.

Hot as Fuck is a muggy, sticky 98.6ºF. Case closed.

Similarly, Hot as Balls is slightly cooler, about 92ºF.

Once we get this one nailed down, I need equivalents for:

“Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey”

“Cold as a witch’s tit”

“Cold as a well digger’s shovel”


ETA: Also, “Hot as a fresh f*cked fox in a pepper patch”

Cold as f*** is when you can throw a cup of coffee up into the air and instead of coming back down, it freezes in mid-air and blows away in the wind.

Like this:

I believe this starts to work around -40 deg F, so that’s my answer for what is cold as f***.

Well, this isn’t quite what I meant. I don’t know about you, but when I’m “engaged in fervent sexual congress”, I’m sure my body tempurature rises to more than 98.6F/37C, I feel hot. (If I have blankets or any clothes on, it’s even more, to the point I get so overheated, I can’t continue without remedying the situation.) So, “hot as fuck” should be hotter than body tempurature because we’re usually hotter when we fuck.

Here in Winnipeg, it often gets hotter than hell in the summer (40C/100F isn’t unusal) and colder than hell in the winter (-40C/-40F isn’t unusual). I’m starting to realize why people think living here is like living in hell …

No, no, no. “Hot as balls” is not necessarily hotter than “hot is fuck,” but it is necessarily muggier. Hot as balls may start as low as 85F, but there is horrible, beastly humidity, which always makes things less pleasant. Hot as fuck starts at around 100. If you live in a desert town, 120.

So the difference between F*** and balls is…humidity?

Do you have an issue with your u, c and k keys?

Also, when the tires on your car thump when you start driving because they are squared off.

Yes. I often say “It is balls-hot outside,” because that tends to create the image of testicular sweat in people’s minds, and I like doing that.

Hot as balls is 100. Hot as fuck is 110. Hot as a motherfucker and you’re not going out there, are you? is 115.

Around here, butt-ass cold is 30.

30ºF - that’s only -1ºC! That’s a nice day for exercising outside - not too cold, not too hot. Sorry, that is not butt-ass cold - it’s not even chilly.


This should be your sig. :smiley:

I’m Salvadoran too and I thought it got pretty hot there until I moved to Dallas. That is real heat. I went back for vacation two years ago and while the locals complained all day about the sweltering heat, I wore long sleeves.

OT: So that’s three Salvadorans on this board. I count you, lucky13 and myself. Anyone else?

No I don’t.
I just feel, I dunno…weird I guess saying fuck.

100+ like it was in WA this summer, and nobody has AC. Yeah that was hot