Posted by Spectre of Pithecanthropus:
Read H.P. Lovecraft’s novella, “At the Mountains of Madness.”
Well, if it turns out to be a giant oyster, pass me a vat of lemon juice and tobasco sauce and I can take care of the clean up. 
I second that. Actually, I thought it was a lot more than “reasonably” witty. I downright laughed out loud.
Whether it was funny was irrelevant. We’re keeping political potshots out of GQ, and we’re keeping political potshots out of GQ.
Grumble grumble boody killjoys, moan moan and they call it “the Land of the Free” whinge whinge.
Thank you for clearing that up for us. I always say, when you have a question, go to an expert in the field! :eek:
It is, however, unfortunate that you joined the board right around the time that Hastur changed his nick to Mockingbird. But we still have HPL, and Dr Fidelius is on the faculkty of Miskatonic University.
And, of course, a good share of the threads in MPSIMS and IMHO tend to be about Love Craft!
No, but these days it is nearly that simple. The only “hard” part is obtaining the gene sequence from the beast, and even that is not terribly hard these days. First, you need to acquire a tissue sample. Then you need a DNA primer to pick out the gene of interest – and universal eukaryote 18S rRNA primers can probably be ordered from supply companies for about $20. You need to run a PCR amplification on your material to get enough to sequence. This is a simple operation that any genetics lab should be able to do in a day. Then run the amplified gene through an automatic gene sequencer (a million dollar piece of machinery, but again, any genetics lab should have one), and it’ll spit out the sequence in short order (a few hours, probably).
Once you have the gene sequenced, things get really simple. Download a few dozen 18S sequences (say a mollusk, an arthropod, a vertebrate, a nematode, etc., etc.) from Genbank (which is free). Align them with Clustal or the European Ribosomal Database’s DCSE program (which is free). Finally, run a phylogenetic analysis on the alignment using a program such as PAUP or Phylip or MEGA (some of which are free), and see what the thing comes out grouped with.
Basically, anyone with access to a halfway decent genetics lab should be able to do this within week for next to nothing (as long as you can obtain DNA from the organism, and as long as it is recognized by the universal primers). As far as accuracy, there are potential problems like long-branch attraction, etc., but these should be easily avoidable if you have a fairly competent phylogenist, a decent alignment, a good selection of comparison organisms (representative and widely-spaced), and reasonable settings for the phylogenetic analysis. Bootstrap replicates should give some numbers you can use to judge the strength of the verdict.
Mmmmm, Brobdingagian oyster. <gulp> …July doesn’t have an “R” in it. Uh oh.
<gurgle> Mff-mff-mff BLORCH!!!
This PSA brought to you by the safe seafood association.
Yep, gotta agree with Zorro. It’s one thing to start a flame war, but a wry, witty comment (even if political) is not totally out of place in GQ. At least, it shouldn’t be, and I was never under the impression that it was. Now, maybe some really nasty comments with the words “roseanne barr” and “afterbirth” might be inappropriate on this thread, but a simple political jab seems perfectly proper and makes reading the SDMB much more enjoyable.
That being said, I’ll put $10 on giant squid (or a body part thereof).
I really hate to say this, but when I searched for new posts the thread that came up right below this one was…
…and I couldn’t stop giggling.
[sub]…sorry, Barry…[/sub]
Oh, and I vote for “giant squid” too. It’s not outside the realm of possibility, given the size of squid (squids?) previously discovered.
Sorry for the 13 month bump, but the mystery has now been solved.
Answer here
Thanks, hammos1!! I always say, when you’re faced with a decomposing blob, the smart money is on whale tongue! (or maybe 
might be more appropriate!)
Well, shoot. I guess I should have bumped this thread back on July 11th 2003 when CNN reported it was just a decomposed sperm whale. Here’s a linkto my thread, which I posted in MPSIMS for some unknown reason. Unfortunately, the CNN link in the OP no longer works, but it said the same thing that your link says (no, really, it did!) The first time I could have answered a GQ and I missed it. Nuts.
uh… how does a 13-ton lump of whale not have a single bone in it?
Maybe this was what whalers left behind after harvesting the valuable parts?
If I recall correctly, it works like this: Whale dies. Carcass floats. Carcass decomposes. Eventually the flesh softens enough that the heavy bones tear loose and fall out. Bones sink and disappear; rotting flesh continues to float.
Eventually the bone-free carcass washes up on a beach, whereupon the natives grab their Elder Gods tentacle masks from their attics and resume Cthulhu worship just to be on the safe side. 
And you believe them?
It’s just the government trying to control our minds again…
BTW, last time I did a year-old bump Czarcasm was all over me. How come everybody else gets away with stuff?
If the bump answers the question posed in the OP, I would hope that’s welcome. That’s what we’re here for, to get the answers.