So Rex’s idea of the world just plain turned upside down would be seeing a man cry on the shoulder of the 200+ pound woman he was deeply attracted to, while his sons looked on ?
Nope. Not the reality of the world…the realities of your world. Men crying is certainly not socially unacceptable, nor will it have negative consequences.
So, it’s all about power? That’s around that that men’s life must revolve?
A little on the paranoîd side, perhaps?
Why should the respect of your peers be eroded? A man crying is perfectly accepted, nowadays, in most circles, you know? At least, apparently, most people on this board seem to think so.
Don’t know about the benefits, but apparently, it’s a natural reaction. Why you would want to artificially suppress it escapes me.
Refraining from expressing deep emotions on a regular basis is psychically very detrimental.
I’m sure that the lacrymal canals didn’t appear during the last century. I would suspect our cavemen ancestors were similarily equipped.
I must add that I’m quite happy with most of the changes which occured since these ancestors were hunting mammoths, so even if by extraordinary these men never cried, I woudln’t necessarily take them as role-models.
Oh… And just to let you know…I’m amongst those men who essentially never cry. Last time was when my father died, and the previous time when my grand-mother (who brought me up) died. It’s difficult for me to express my feelings. I think it’s a significant issue and that I would be much better off otherwise.
I saw many men crying without despising them nor intending to take advantage of this “weakness”. I will certainly not try to teach a potential future son not to cry.
And the problem would be?
LOL, either you’ve been lurking awhile or you managed to wade through that other thread when it was bumped recently. Either way, kudos.
By the way, I don’t consider the SDMB a representative sample of people’s social behaviour. If you want to walk around in this dream world where human social behaviour is malleable, be my guest, but I won’t be joining you. Think that the decline of racial intolerance is a change in social patterns? Better look at one of the main forces behind that change, the fear of being ostracized, labelled as a hated racist, and shunned from one’s peer group. I’ve no doubt racism survives strongest where the fear of being decried for racist beliefs is weakest. The same old social pressures, just the specifics are different. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I gave up long ago thinking the world of man would ever be much different in the essentials than it always has been.
Well, there sorta is… acting class.
Anyone else disagree with this?
Well, I suppose I do have to disagree. In some places it is socially unacceptable, but then again in some places it is socially unacceptable to be gay, or black, or to express criticism of a certain faith or political mindset. So what? That means nothing.
Oh, and removing gaming from schools has what to do with any of this? Zuh?
Wrong. It is certainly socially unacceptible in the US and a number of other countries, regardless of whether it should be or not.
Imagine a Presidential candidate bursting into tears on camera during, say…a debate.
Candidate A: And what would you do, Candidate B, if your MOTHER had been on that bus?
Candidate B: :: lip trembles :: 
< sniff >YOU <sob> YOU LEAVE MY MOTHER <blubber> OUT OF THIS! :: bawls ::
Crying doesn’t make a man a wimp, but it’s a fact that it makes a large percentage of people in the US (and I’d guess the UK, the Middle East, etc) see him as one.
And I don’t see what this stupid “Crying is good” obession is. Showing grief? Yes. Expressing your emotions non-destructively? Yes. Bawling? Not so much.
It’s unpleasant to cry. Your face hurts. You gasp for breath. Your eyes get red, and itchy and water. Your nose runs. It’s yukky. There are times when crying happens, but there are times when you have a bowel movement too. I don’t hear anyone blithering on about how expressive one is for expressing that natural function.
If crying somehow really does make you feel better, go for it. I won’t criticize the way you express your grief whether you’re a man or a woman. I don’t care, really. But don’t get on my back when I choose to stifle tears and express grief and outrage in some other, less mucus-y way.
Fenris, on neither side of this argument.
A local paper once had an article titled Big Boys Don’t Cry-They Just Kill themselves.
I think you wusses need to face reality. Any man who cries is a weakling, and a waste of testosterone.
Unless it’s the playoffs.
Regards,
Shodan
Or if Brian’s Song is on.
Or The Dirty Dozen.
See?
This is the sort of crap (the article headline) that drives me nuts.
It’s NOT an Either/Or proposition.
Somewhere between stoically holding everything inside so tightly wrapped that you shatter when you can’t hold it in any more and turning into a snot-factory every time someone looks at you crosswise is a huge, vast range of options that include neither psychotically repressing everything nor bawling at the least provocation.
Fenris
Well, it was what killed Ed Muskie’s chances.
And, IIRC Patsy Schroder’s (sp)
Strawman much? Who do you see arguing that people should “bawl at the least provocation”? Backlash indeed.
I’d just like to point out that crying and crying in public are two entirely different things.
I believe absolutely that crying is an important natural function that is necessary for good health. I am female, and I cry fairly often, but only very rarely in public. Recently, I’ve been going through a lot of stress, and there have been times when I’ve gotten up from my desk at work, gone into a bathroom stall at work, and cried for a few minutes. Then I dry my face and come back feeling better and more energized.
Fenris - I agree that it’s not an either/or proposition – be a bawling mess, or kill yourself. But the solution isn’t to teach boys to repress their emotions. I’m particularly amused that you use bowel movements as your analogy. True, no one suggests that performing that natural function is useful in expressing emotions. But you’re certainly not claiming that bowel movements themselves aren’t useful and necessary? You wouldn’t tell say that men should be taught not to move their bowels. Both men and women are taught at a very young age that moving their bowels is necessary and important, but that’s it’s a private activity that shouldn’t be shared with others beyong the “I pooped in the potty” stage.
I see no reason why both men and women shouldn’t be taught the value of a good cry in dealing with feelings of sadness and relieving tension. That doesn’t mean that we all should be bawling on each others’ shoulders (although that can be a nice feeling too).
Oh, and your example of Pat Schroder, who is of course female, simply shows that the American public doesn’t care for politicians who cry, regardless of gender.
Read for comprehension my son. The words are there to help you. Part of reading is understanding the term “hyperbole”.
And given that the headline I was objecting to (that [b}Vanilla** posted )was “Big Boys Don’t Cry-They Just Kill themselves.” was ALSO hyperbole, (many men who don’t cry also don’t kill themselves.) it behoves the elementary reader to read the phrase in context.
Fenris, happy to help.
PS: Your opening sentence fragment “Strawman much?” is ssssooooo 1992.
PPS: To avoid any further confusion, please note that the concept of “irony” is required to appropriately understand the above comment.
Crying is a sign of weakness in certain situations. Breaking down and crying for what is determined to be an unacceptable reason is frowned upon-- for both sexes.
And women do not get a bye. Women are called “the weaker sex” “over emotional” even “irrational” in general conversation because they are more likely to cry in public.
The difference is, I think, the situations in which a man and a woman are not allowed to cry. If you are a woman and you cry because you broke a nail-- unacceptable. If you are a man and you cry because your girlfriend said she loves you-- unacceptable.
If you are at work then it is unacceptable for anyone to cry unless broken bones or death is involved.
If I had a girlfriend and she said she loved me, you bet your ass I’d cry about it. That’s a touching thing to say. Society doesn’t like it? Tough shit. 
Whoa.
I don’t mean a guy should cry because he stubbed his toe or his boss was mean to him.
However, I’ve seen my father cry, like I said. When he had to bury two of our cats-one was just a kitten, the other was sixteen and had been with us since I was a child.
At his sister’s funeral, after her gave the eulogy, he grabbed me and hugged me so hard I practically couldn’t breath because he was broken down in tears. EVERYONE was fucking crying there. It was his SISTER-in fact, the sister he had been closest with growing up, our favorite aunt and my godmother. Hell, I saw my Uncle Craig crying on his wife’s shoulders (his wife is my Aunt Mary Carole, another sister of my dad’sw). It was quite surreal to see him crying over his wife’s sister-in-law, but they were very close.
If you’re going to tell me those men were wimps, I’d have to kick your ass. Seriously.
Now, this doesn’t mean, if one’s natural reaction to extreme emotion isn’t crying, that one should be forced to cry. I just mean, sometimes, you gotta let it out. Hell, didn’t Walter fucking Cronkite have tears in his eyes during the Kennedy assasination?
How many men were in tears on camera during September 11th?
However, you don’t go around sniveling. You let it out, and then you move on. If you aren’t inclined to crying, well, that’s one thing. But if it’s something like the death of a loved one, or the birth of one’s child, and a guy feels like crying-let him.