What the fuck did you put in this? A Restau-Rant

The BBQ Pit
1

Ok. That’s it. Now I’m PISSED

So last night a pal took me out to dinner. We went to a (normally) very good Chinese resturant.

They had a new item on their menu (this is a good thing, normally as the cook is very creative and normally not a fucking idiot): Grand Marnier Shrimp. “A delightful blend of sweet and hot. Shrimp fried in a spicy batter in a delicate white sauce with a hint of Grand Marnier for an unexpected sweetness. With Chinese vegetables”

Sounds good, right?

<gag, barf, retch>
Throws up

YOU FUCKING DICKWADS!

The magic item you left off your description was “MAYONNAISE”.

It wasn’t served in “white sauce” (generally Chicken broth/seafood broth thickened with cornstarch), it was like a HOT SUGARY WALDORF SALAD WITH CAJUN FRIED SHRIMP!

And Mayo develops a slimey consistancy when heated, giving the dish a snot-like texture.

Sound disgusting? It was.

:rolleyes: All the Chinese resturants in Denver have pulled this stunt with Crispy Shrimp with Walnuts which used to be served in a spicy brown sauce and has now replaced by a vomitous concoction involving mayo and removed the sublime original dish. Now they’re contaminating other dishes with mayo. So now, I’m going to have to ask before ordering anything if it contains mayo. (Beef with Broccolli…and mayo. Sweet And Sour Pork…and mayo. Mu Shu Beef…and mayo.) Blech.

(I’m fine with mayo in the right places. What are the right places? A start would be “Where Chinese food isn’t!”)

Part of my gripe is that I wasn’t warned. If I go to an Italian restaurant and order lasagna, I don’t expect it to be served a-la mode and would demand a warning from the waiter or in the menu.

I don’t expect my Gyros to have grape-jelly in them.

Chocolate shakes aren’t blended with olives.

And I don’t want to have to worry about mayo in my Chinese food.

I firmly support a new law that says that if a Chinese restaurant serves you anything with mayonnaise, they should be eligible for 20 years in a federal prison. And if it’s not labeled, it should be 50 years.

Armed Health inspectors should inspect Chinese restaurants looking for signs of mayo. If found, the owner should be pistol whipped.

<shudder>
Still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. Yuk.

Maybe I shoulda sent it back, but the waiter spoke maybe 4 words of English and I didn’t want to try to explain.

Fenris

2

I hope to dear God that I never ever EVER see a Chinese food dish with mayo on it.

EVER!

<shudder>

Damn skippy the menu should’ve mentioned it. I admire your apparent ability to control your taste buds when eating retchous foods…

3

Considering how vague the ‘delicate white sauce’ description is, you got off lucky with the mayo.

4

My sig sums up my opinion

5

[Homer]
Mmmmmmm … mayonaise …
[/Homer]

6

So, uh, Fenris…mind letting the name of the restaurant slip so those of us who might go to the same places you do know what to avoid?

7

… or what to get seconds on, depending on your tastes.

8

I had a similar unfortunate experience at a Japanese buffet. Sushi that had ham and mayo as the filling. What the hell???

9

Let me second this request. Don’t make others suffer your fate. Blech.

I would offer suggestions, but we live on the opposite sides of town. And I haven’t found any exceptional chinese food in Littleton anyway.

10

romansperson, mayonnaise is not an unusual ingredient in Japanese cuisine, especially sushi rolls. If you’ve ever had a spicy tuna roll, you might want to look inside…

11

Normally this place is great, but in this case…yuk.

It’s the Golden(?) Lotus in Boulder. On 28th St near Pearl.

I highly recommend their food…normally

Fenris

12

As one other aside, the best Chinese place in the state (IMHO) is called Swan Palace in C. Springs.

Mayo is nowhere to be found, and their fish-maw and winter melon soups are sublime.

Fenris

13

‘white sauce’, in both chinese and japanese restaurants, will generally contain mayonnaise. now you know.

hey, at least it wasnt miracle whip. (insert smirky-face emoticon here)

14

Necros,

I know. And normally I like mayo, when used properly. But this was ham and mayo mashed up together into an evil-tasting paste, and then rolled together with cream cheese (forgot to mention that part). It was just so wrong on so many levels …

Tuna + mayo = good

Crab + mayo = OK

Ham + mayo + cream cheese = ugh, ugh, ugh

15

I feel your pain.

You know, to be fair, that seems to be what Americans like, well, sorta. My family and I went back to the States in July, and we did a big ol’ family vacation with about 15 kids and 10 adults to the Black Hills. We then moseyed (sp?) on up to Rapid City, South Dakota, where coincidentally enough I was born, and decided to get some Hunanese/Chinese food. My wife was just dying for rice after having been rice free for a week or so. The owner greated us, and when we spoke Chinese with him, even warned that the food was Americanized. Let’s just say that the American contingent thought the food was great, while my wife and I were mightily disappointed.

And I ate there at the Golden Lotus too (my bro is long term Boulderite), and it wasn’t sooooo bad but not home cookin’. We ate at some other rancid place near Target – don’t even think about it. Gahh, you call that food?

The point is, unless you’ve got an in with the chef, Chinese food in the US is likely to be disappointing. The chances are higher if you get out of the basics and into some pseudo fusion Chinese whatetever cuisine. And I’m here to tell ya, mayo is not an indigenous Chinese food group.

16

essvee: I disagree. I eat Chinese about once a week, and I’ve probably tried every Chinese place in the Denver metro area, and except the vile “Modern” version of Crispy Shrimp with Walnuts and this new discovery, I’ve never had mayo in my ‘white sauce’. Like I said: chicken or fish stock, soy-sauce, spices, corn-starch. That’s white sauce!

And if it’d been the dreaded Miracle Whip (“it’s a miracle anyone can choke the stuff down”, “Ever wondered what happeneds to rancid whipped cream?”), I’d have sent the stuff back, language barrier or no.

Fenris

17

I agree Fenris. If I saw “white sauce” in the menu description, I would have thought about the sauce that Moo Goo Gai Pan usually is made with. Not mayonnaise. That’s just fucking sick.

Not that I care for mayo in general either.

18

Maybe it wasn’t mayonaise at all.

Perhaps the chef was just a little too happy about his latest creation.

19

Ewwww! I’m going down to Chinatown now to get some hot sour soup [sub]with real preserved vegetables and all -Joy![/sub]and some roast duck to get the thought out of my head…

20

Damn! I thought it was just me!

We’ve been ordering Chinese for delivery lately from Fan’s in Niwot. In general, they’re pretty good. But I have noticed a couple items on their menu - most noticably, the Grand Marnier chicken - that list MAYO in the description.

Also of note. They have something called “Incredible Chicken” (or pork, or beef…). A friend ordered it the other day. It was chicken & veggies in a sauce that tasted suspicously like Ketchup. She seemed to like it, but I thought it was horrible.

As long as I stick to the standard Americhinese choices, like Mu Shu Pork or Szechaun Beef, Fan’s is pretty good. Their Hot & Sour is some of the best I’ve had.

Bummer about Golden Lotus. I think of them as the best Chinese in Boulder, which isn’t saying much. Must be some trend going through the Chinese restaurants in Colordo - “Let’s put the stuff in sauces we can BUY! Yeah! That’s the ticket!” Next we’ll see Spicy Beef served in Salsa, or Chicken in Cheez Whiz.