What the FUCK don't you understand about defensive driving?

I’m waiting for armageddon so that the post-apocalyptic universe portrayed in “Car Wars” can emerge and I can at last drive the way humans were meant to drive. With a surplus tank gun mounted in the bed of one’s pickup.

I am just going to RULE the Long Island Expressway.

Oh, I’ve been stupid, too. But as long as we give each other room to be stupid and keep an eye out for each others’ brain farts, it works out in the end.

That must be where my father got it. At some point when I was learning to drive, I was arguing with him about some petty little thing that ended in: “But I have the right of way!” To which he replied: “Is that what you want written on your tombstone?”

I’ve lived by that little quip whether I’m a driver, biker, or pedestrian. Pay attention to your surroundings, everyone on the road is an idiot, and having the right of way does not make one invincible.

This was better advice than the lesson on stopping I got from him at the old deserted airport. I pull to a stop, as if coming up to an intersection. “How’d I do?”

No response.

“Dad, how’d I do?”

“I can’t respond. We’re both dead. Big truck just killed us because you pulled out too far.”


You’re missing the rest of that road’s name:

The largest parking lot in the world.

No need to wait for Armageddon. Just move to Somalia.

You can have all stupid drivers some of the time, and some stupid drivers all of the time, but you can’t have no stupid drivers some of the time.
-Abe Lincoln
(or something)

Like this?

Holy cow, Santo Rugger, that made me laugh! Your facial expression is priceless.