What the fuck is wrong with 2002???

The BBQ Pit
1

What has happened this year?

-My North Face coat was stolen from my gym, with my keys, ID, and earrings my godmother gave me in it. Some phucking nitwit is paying $40 a month for a gym but CAN’T AFFORD A FREAKING COAT??

-My old place was having issues with breakins and cars being dinged. I arranged to move to a new place; the night before I was to move, the flakeazoid owners told me they had changed their mind and wanted an office instead of a roommate. I had already given notice, and scrambled for a new place. I found a good one 30 miles away; two days later, the guy told me his brohter and borther’s family had lost their place and had to move in. So I’m moving. AGAIN.

-My BF of two years broke up with me on the Monday before Valentine’s day. I had already bought him a gift. He hadn’t bought me one. The same nonreciprocal exchange happened at Christmas.

-I spun my car on black ice. I saved it from going off a cliff, but dinged the wheel well on deadwood.

-To save time, I had a new head unit installed by the Best Buy monkeys. They botched the install and damaged my center panel. They also SCRATCHED UP THE BRAN SPANKIN’ NEW UNIT! I wasted more time than I would ideally have saved in fixing it and making Best Buy replace the unit.

It’s only March. What more can go wrong???

That’s a rhetorical question. I really don’t want to know.

head bangs against wall

2

Never, ever, even in jest, ask this question. The creator of the universe, having a sense of humor, will endeavor to answer it for you. Learn to love life’s little trials. Become one with them. Do your best to survive them. Rant about them here to get it out of your system. But never, ever ask the Question.

b.

3

You could look at it this way, my dear - you still have 9 months or so to have the year redeem itself. There’s a lot that can go right this year. Don’t give up on it until Thanksgiving. If things are still crap by Turkey Day, then go on a 5-week bender to finish the year out.

4

It’s a palindrome. All palindromes are screwy.

5

Wellllll at the risk of sounding one uppish
My dad died Feb 6 on my brothers birthday. This was 5 months after Mum’s passing…
On Feb 26th some bitch who just had to get to work made a left hand turn in front of me… head on collision… totalled my beloved little red car…
Dad’s mother died one month 3 days to THE MINUTE later Mar 9th…
Yeah this year deserves a serious bender… starting last week…
My serious sympathies on the housing issue… 1994 for me.

6

Forget 2002. How about 2061? What a terrible, terrible book. Clarke, you should be ashamed.

Seriously, my condolences. I hope things look up for you.

7

I know that you don’t want to hear this, and I say it in the most sincere way possible…

at least you have your health.
All the things you named do indeed suck ass, but in the grand scheme of things, they are minor inconviencences.

I do hope things look brighter for you for the remains of the year though.

8

A lot of us don’t even have that. So I tell myself “At least you have Fierra. And the ability to kill all of your enemies.”

9

I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but I thought it might make you feel better to know there is cosmic balance.

My year has been great; it probably won’t be as great as 2001, but it has still be pretty damn good. I think you for getting the other side of the coin so that I might prosper.