ROFLMAO, I used to work for US Foodservice in Norwich [on otrobando] as chain customer service … but I left right after the Royal Ahold merger.
sniffle I really miss the employee discount on case lots of artichokes!
Honestly, when I was applying for the job, one of the biggest things I was looking forward to was buying at a discount the Cheese Soup they have. That and those bags of nacho cheese you drown tortilla chips in.
I was turned down by a staffing service based on one of those “personality tests.” My big problem with the questions was that they were all phrased in such a way that my overly-scrupulous and cynical self was doomed to failure.
“True or false: Most people think that it’s ok to call into work sick once in a while even when you aren’t really sick.”
Well no SHIT most people think that. Most people think a lot of things. All of the questions were like that. I failed the test miserably, no surprise. When the lady gave me the results she acted like I was a psychopath.
I like you.
If that’s the kind of questions they were asking, I would also test as a psychopath. What the hell kind of test is that, asking you what most people think? Where they trying to test you as a market surveyor or clairvoyant or something? Stupid people and their stupid stupidness.
I applied for a job at Target once, many years ago. You had to sit at a computer terminal in the store and fill out the electronic application, then take a test with lots of dumbass “most people” questions like that. One of my favorites was, “True or False: I uphold my family’s traditional values.” Well, that’s very fucking vague yet loaded. I finished taking the test mostly to see what kind of stupidity they would come up with next. Of course I never heard from them.
Heh… I just applied for a new Target and there were two questions that were just plain weird.
1). How many people believe that politicians are not truthful?
A. 5% to 15%
B. 15% to 30%
and so on… and
2). How many people cheat on their income taxes?
A. 5% to 15%…
It was a mass hiring event, and after we were all tested, everyone was like - “What was up with those questions?”. I was then interviewed five times by eight different people, before going to a ladies room to pee in a cup with a nurse talking to me the whole time.
Good times. :dubious:
I filled out one of Walmart’s applications at their application kiosk. Every third question had something to do with marijuana. “Have you ever smoked marijuana? In your opinion, is marijuana worse than stealing? Would you report a co-worker for smoking marijuana? Agree or disagree: Marijuana should be legalized. Have you ever reported for work under the influence of marijuana?”
I believe I counted 27 questions that referred to marijuana somehow. After about the eighth one I decided I really didn’t want to work at Walmart, so I started giving them funny answers (hell yeah, legalize that stuff! I toke up 7 or 8 times a day, myself!). They never called me back.
It wasn’t US Foodservice, it was for a packaging supplier; they sell everything from bubble wrap to boxes, janitorial supplies to dock plates. The funny thing is, I applied on-line and got a call not two hours later asking when I could come in. So obviously, they saw something on my resume that they liked.
As for weed, I think that it should be legalised, but ONLY for people working at Wal-Mart. If anybody needs to toke up, it’s them.
Peace - DESK
My guess is that they use the test results to weed out 1) really stupid entry level people and 2) people who can do the job correctly but actually want a decent buck for doing the work.
You’re too experienced. You’re too good. They don’t want to pay you what you’re worth.
Yep, Walmart is really concerned about marijuana.
Never mind that around here crack is the biggest drug of choice. Not that it matters to people who put together silly standardized tests.
I like you, too. “Welcome to your low-paying, soul-sucking job. Here’s your employee vest, badge, and a week’s supply of grass.”
“Try not to smoke it all in one shift.”
Dang, I hate it when I think of things after hitting the “post reply” button.
I find these human resources questionaires demeaning and insulting. Its like they want to tell you that if you work for this company your soul, your ass, will belong to them. You must accept their right to only employ people that are willing to always accept that the company philosophy must be your philosophy.
Fuck em !
You can work and educate yourself to be the best at the job you are qualifying for but if your religion/non religion, your politics etc does not match, all your career preparation is in vain. Plus you are forced to lie, comment on issues that you really don’t give a shit about and made to feel like a fuckin idiot whem you finish the test.
Fuck em!
Now they can tell you that you can’t even smoke in your own home. They can make you take lie detection tests and medical evaluations.
Fuck em!
Corporate employment today is only one step away from slavery. Both you and the corporation can can your relationship at any time. However if the employee makes that choice, it is usually escaping the frying pan for another frying pan.
Fuck em!
Needless to say I am now self employed and loving it.
Fuck em with a ten foot pole !
Reading this thread, I bet we all feel this way sometimes: the worst job I’ve ever had was looking for a fucking job. I’ve always been conscientious and usually fairly competent when I’m employed – but the process of job-hunting just grinds me down and stresses me out more than any actual job ever has.
Okay, now you’ve got me curious. Is it because if you steered with the front wheels, the stuff on the forky part of the forklift would be swinging in a wider arc, thus making it more likely to fall or tip the forklift or cause it to slip, and it wouldn’t be able to turn as sharp as you’d like?
In any case, I take a lot of standardized tests for school – not just the SAT, but also the SAT subject tests, AP tests, STAR tests… it’s all about tests. Glad to know it’s not just a school thing and when I get into the real world, I’ll have a good chance of being considered more as a number than a person, just like I am now. Ignorance fought, I suppose.
A-bloody-men. The endless applications. The tests. The interviews. The re-interviews. Calling them back to find out if you have a chance at the job.
I can’t stand the tests. I can pass them. Not really that hard. I just hate the temptation to enter the worst possible answers.
I haven’t had to take a lot of really stupid tests, but I did have to take one incredibly hard test once. Of course, it was to work as a transcriber for a court reporting firm, and they wanted people who could punctuate, spell, tell the difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re,” etc. etc. It was the best weeding-out test I’ve ever seen because it really and truly does relate to the job skills.
That same employer once, for fun, had everyone do a personality test – she was trying to figure out why she had great success keeping people in one type of job and not another, and wondered if she was hiring the wrong types of people. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the reason she couldn’t keep people in the one type of job was because she wasn’t paying enough; she was a small business on a small margin and certainly not getting rich from it, and was paying all she could afford.
Relevant job tests can be very useful. But using a test with no relevance to the actual job is a crock of shit.
I’ve never driven a forklift (though it sounds like fun) but I believe that you want the load over the drive wheels, just like you would in loading a rear-wheel drive car or a trailer (though in both cases you’re loading the heaviest gear on the axle.) Try driving a rear-wheel drive car in snow (it’s not fun) with no weight over the rear axle and then with a lot of weight over the rear axle. Then follow that up with driving a front-wheel drive car in the snow and see how much easier it is than the empty rear-wheel drive car because of the weight of the engine.
Ah. Friction is proportional to normal force, which is proportional to weight. See? I am learning something in school. That makes sense, thank you.