I thought it was funny scene, if low-key.
Procrustus, if I asked a coffeeshop how they make their lattes and that’s what they told me, I’d be bemused as well. The amount of espresso in a drink to me, is more a function of the size of the drink. If I order a 12 oz latte, I expect 1 shot. If I order a 16 oz latte, I expect 2 shots. If I order a 12 oz flat white, I expect 2 shots.
How the milk is steamed and poured is far more critical to me than the amount of coffee. If I order a 12 oz latte and they add 2 shots of espresso, I think “Ooh, they make a strong latte”. If I order a 12 oz latte and they don’t hold back the foam til the end, I think “Oh, they don’t know what a latte is.”
Everything about this is objectively not funny. You’re all wrong and you don’t know what humor is. I pity you.
Funny you should say that… 
I gather it’s not an option to use different kinds of milk and still have what comes out be a ‘flat white’? Like if you use skim or full fat, it ends up being a thin white or a chunky white?
I would think the type of milk has no bearing other than the less fatty the milk, the less it foams when steamed. A flat white is called that because it shouldn’t have much if any foam on the top of the drink.
Out of curiosity, what sort of answer were you looking for? The way you phrased the question, “you guys’ definition” (cringe), it seems to me that you already know what a flat white is, you’re just wondering what this particular place would do differently.
I ask because I just read a couple of articles about flat whites, and it seems that the only variations between vendors have to do with the number of shots of espresso and the ratio of espresso to milk, i.e. the serving size. That is uses steamed milk with no foam isn’t really up for debate.
Frylock, is this the type of feedback you were getting?
Yeah, that’s why I asked what OP’s definition of a flat white is. Because if the only real variable is how many shots of espresso, then his question was answered and I don’t know why it’s funny.
I guess I don’t expect much from entry level service personnel? A non-answer, or an incomplete answer from someone making minimum wage with few benefits is so common an occurrence that it wouldn’t even register. I don’t expect someone working a job where the employer doesn’t particularly care about them to care about the job.
So barely funny it only moved my laugh-o-meter within it’s accepted margin of error, sorry!
If that’s the case, it seems to me that a charitable reading of the answer would be that the barista assumed the customer knew what he was ordering, being familiar with the concept of a flat white (hence asking for ‘you guys’ definition’, rather than the drink’s general definition), so they just told him the variables—how much caffeine to expect, and that there’s debate whether it’s better with, say, skim or full fat.
But then again, I’m German, so my appraisal of anybody’s humor probably isn’t anything to go by… (<-See, I added a smiley face to indicate that that was an attempt at a joke.)
Now I want one.
“What’s you guys’ definition of a flat white?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t.”
“Do!”
“Don’t!”
“Yes I DO! Now I’m asking you for the last time, what is a flat white?”
<barista pulls lever>
<anvil falls from ceiling and flattens Frylock>
(muffled) “I’m sorry I asked!”
<laugh track>
V.O.: We’ll be right back with more Frylock 'n Pals, after these messages!
Not really funny to me. At least, no more funny than any routine miscommunication.
If I’d been the barista, I probably would not have understood your question. It’s like asking what’s your definition of a chocolate cake. You could get different answers to this question based on the responder’s orientation. I’d say chocolate cake is composed of chocolate-flavored cake with chocolate icing. Someone might give you a full recipe.
The barista might get different variations of this question on a daily basis. Sounds like he might use the same answer for all of them
Wait… milk – that’s the white stuff they squeeze out of cows, right? Which they were force-feeding us when we were kids? You telling me there are different kinds of that?
(And why would anyone drink it, or ruin perfectly good coffee by putting it into it? Whisky, brandy or even vodka, I could understand that! But milk?)
Now this thread has become an unintentionally hilarious display of literal thinking. 
To be honest, I’m most bugged by some people’s apparent predilection for referring to espresso as coffee.
Educate me—isn’t espresso a type of coffee? What’s the salient difference?
I suppose there isn’t. But it looks very weird to me to refer to a shot of espresso as as shot of coffee.