What the hell just happened in this facebook conversation?

I posted the following:

The responses I got consisted in a serious discussion of what a flat white is supposed to be.

When I replied by saying something like “Okay but I just thought the guy’s response was unintentionally funny, that’s why I posted it,” it became apparent that those engaged in the discussion had had no idea the original post was supposed to be funny.

Is it not, obviously, funny? Have I performed a misfired impression of Hyoo-Munn Hyoo-Morr some how?

I don’t really see the humor, except for the “we argue about what kind of milk to use” line. It’s slightly witty.

Ahah this just in: My friend who is a stand-up comedian chimed in with “I laughed.”


How is it not funny that when I ask the guy who’s making my drink what goes in the drink, his first answer displays no useful knowledge of said drink and his follow-up shows the whole establishment has no such useful knowledge either?

Like, you ask a barista how to make the drink he’s making, and all he mentions is how much coffee goes in.

It’s like if I ask “What’s in your nachos” and the waiter answers “Well like there’s some chips and the whole thing’s pretty big.”

C’mon, this is funny.

It struck me as funny because my understanding is that it’s how the milk is steamed and poured that makes it a flat white vs a latte vs a cappuccino which was not touched on at all by the barista.

I’m intrigued that starbucks offers them now. I know they’re quite popular in the UK and Australia but I wonder how well Starbucks does at bringing them across the pond and training their teenage punks to make them correctly. I like the ones I’ve had but I’m curious how representative of a true flat white they are. I’ve never seen the drink listed on a menu board anywhere else and I’m not familiar enough with the drink to request it special.


Of course there’s some coffee in it, and I don’t care how many ounces it is.

They’re actually pretty good at Starbucks! It’s in fact the first Starbucks coffee I’ve enjoyed without sweetener etc. The way they do it, the milk almost kind of sweetens the thing all by itself. And the texture is really nice.

If they do it right. They don’t always. :frowning:

I’d never before heard of a “flat white,” and just found an article from last March referring to it as “Starbucks’ new drink.” It took me three readings of your OP to realize that “we argue with each other” meant among the other baristas, not between the barista and customer (right)? Furthermore, I disagree that the amount of coffee in a prepared coffee drink is irrelevant information.

All due respect to your comic friend, I’m rating this one a dismal 9 Mencias out of 10 on the humorometer.

You’re right, it’s not wholly irrelevant if you know how much of the whole it comprises (and in fairness what the barista said does give enough to derive that information–also btw I wasn’t at Starbucks, it was a local place).

But it’s not an entire answer. Definitely inadequate as a “definition.”

Add me to those who don’t see the humor. Assuming all flat whites are the same (which they should be if we have a working definition), except for the amount of coffee, I think you got a perfectly fine response to your question.

I think this is one of those instances of having to explain the joke = not funny.

I get it since you explained it but I’m not really laughing. Only smiling. :slight_smile:

Ok, but that’s very much not the defining aspect of a flat white so it’s not an answer at all.

But the question I asked presupposes a lack of a working definition.

Again, it’s analogous to the following conversation:

Me: What do you guys put on your nachos?
Server: Well, there are two scoops of chips in it.
Me: [ponders inadequacy of server’s reply]
Server: [beat] Also we throw a bunch of stuff on top of them.

If you had that conversation in real life with an actual server, you’d find it to be a silly response, correct?

This was like that.

It’s not overtly humorous. It’s only funny if you are pretty far into the coffee aficionado zone. As a general remark it’s about as funny as font jokes to people who are not fontographers.

I get why it’s funny, but I’d only rate it mildly funny.

Me too.

I have to admit, I don’t think of myself as “pretty far into the coffee aficionado zone.” I don’t take my knowledge here to be anything less basic than what you’d need to know to understand the difference between Starbucks (unflavored) coffee drinks.

Typing it out doesn’t really capture the atmosphere. I guess you’re talking about Starbucks, which is complacently hip and considers itself a standard for specialty coffees. For a “barista” (really a fancy name for coffee jerk) to admit their operation is flawed does disrupt that concept.

But without atmosphere and context, your FB friends just saw “Flat White” and assumed that was the point of your post. Happens all the time. Attention-deficit internet readers instinctively look for key words in the jumble of unnecessary language and superficially respond to that. Blame the society that was raised on Twitter.