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actually from what I’ve learned most moats were treated as open air septic tanks …all human waste runoff went directly in the moats and it got to the point that entering the castle could get unpleasant …
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That is why the rich invented “summer holiday” and the poor would be employed / forced to clean the moat which made the castle smell even worse for a while.
Working inwards attack trained goats*1. Then the Red Tape Monster *2 in a moat, then poison ivy / blackberry combo. With a properly designed offset bridge unwelcome visitors will get kicked into the evil bushes, or fall in trying to run from the goats. Then another moat with another red tape monster.
*1 Large goats, they have a wonderful kick / butt.
*2 ( essence of tax collector AND motor reg board AND > insert your most hated bureaucracy).
Red Tape monsters can be trained to go into red carpet mode at a secret word from the queen of the castle and no one else. It might be tedious training them though as they are naturally quite aggressive and territorial. ( still trying to find the book that had a red tape monster Thought it was The Phantom Tollbooth anyone?) They don’t eat.
Every few years you can swap the goats to eat down the blackberries / poison ivy.
Can I offer you a Tax Inspector in good health? The one I’m specifically thinking of was my Team Lead in a job, as well as being our Finance person; was fired when the company found out she had added 10 years to her age in order to be able to invent 10 years of experience, and as far as I can tell her English is bad but not as incomprehensible as her supposedly-native Spanish. About the only things we could always understand clearly were the curses.
Might be able to scare away anything short of a horde of Gorgons.
Cone snails, because the thought of being killed by a mollusk is quite embarrassing. Having your obituary read, *“ … he was mauled to death by crocodiles” *at least has a cool vibe to it and would cause readers to think, “oh, that poor man, what a horrible way to die”. On the other hand, having your obituary read, “… he was harpooned to death by a large snail” would make readers giggle and think, “what a putz!”
Chimpanzees, but keep them basically entirely undomesticated. They’re way, way stronger than us, and love to go for eyes, throats, genitals, etc. They seem to prefer torturing their enemies to death rather than going straight for a kill. They also attack in coordinated groups.
Now there is a thought. You keep a very large tank of highly toxic/acidic water next to the dry moat, and when the invaders try to cross it, you unleash a nasty flash-flood. Array the moat with motion sensors so that the flooding will be automatic (in case burglars try to break in while you are away on vacation).
I wouldn’t want to live In Georgia but many thanks for the link.
I do actually have a good basis for my castle here. Naturally I need to tweak the design a bid. The creature filled moat goes between the inner and out walls. Add a dry moat outside the outer wall, add a lower bailey, surface to air missile site. You know, basic upgrades that anyone can appreciate.
Sharks with fricking laser beams attached to their heads…no, might be a trademark infringement and lawyers are very dangerous creatures…
I was thinking saltwater crocodiles when I first saw the OP’s question…while alligator attacks do occur, they are built to eat smaller creatures and don’t seem to see humans as a food source…Salties are built to eat large creatures, are quite aggressive and have no problems attacking humans.
Insects and other critters that cause diseases are certainly effective at killing people, but a properly prepared person will just walk past…and a moat full of malaria-carrying mosquitoes will threaten you and your family just as much as any potential invaders…
For my money, I’d choose the second most deadly creature on this list…