What to do with a four year old

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Besides strangle them! I haven’t posted much because I’m in Texas hanging out with my sister’s family. My nephew is four and LOVES me. Which means I can’t even go to the bathroom without him tagging along! Even as I try to post this he is turning the couch into a motorcycle and keeps bashing into the computer desk. I may NEVER have children! No, really, just kidding. Well, maybe not!

So, when I get home I’ll have to spend hours catching up with what is going on out here. But I’ll be able to do it without a child screaming in my ear.

Oh, yeah. I DID get the chance to talk to Sealemon88 for a couple of hours! That was a lot of fun. We do not have a set day to get everyone together but I’ll be sure to tell you ALL about how weird the Houston Dopers are!

Best!
Byz

#2

You are just NOW finding out about the weirdness of the Houston Dopers??? You poor child!

“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas

#3

I’ve found that they’re even more fun than cats to spin around on a linoleum floor!

#4

I’ll let the sig speak for itself.

Jeremy…

Anyone who says they don’t like children obviously isn’t cooking them properly.

#5

4 year olds can be very stubborn. At 7 or 8 you can get some behavior out of a kid by threats: If you don’t pick up this junk, you won’t get your evening snack.

#6

Kids are great Byz, just get on the floor and be prepared to become a human jungle gym.

I am me… accept it or not.

#7

CS-- oh, he’s great! Just that I can’t do anything without him. He calls me the “other mom” since my sister and I look so much alike. He’s cute and smart but after a full eight hours with him I’M the one who needs a nap!

It’s fun but I know how much work they are; I think I’ll stick with puppies! You can put them to sleep… bwha ha ha! Just kidding!

Best!
Byz

#8

Wait a minute here ! I must stand up for the honor of the Houston Dopers !
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> Thinking

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Well I would, if we had any honor. ::sigh::

Ayesha - Lioness

There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)

#9

wrap the little bugger in velcro and stick him to the wall!

My Frankie is 4, and I think its the best age! Every second sentence out ofhis mouth is : " I love you Mommy!", or"I love YOU more!" etc…great for the ego.

Soak up all that love and adoration while you can Byz…soon enough, this same kid will roll his eyes when you speak, THEN you will really want to strangle him!

#10

Most kids have responded well to reading to them or coloring. You know, quality time. Take him to the playground near you and let him expend his spaztikness there. You really won’t get any sleep or rest because YOU are his favorite playtoy right now. Sorry to break the news to you so harshly.

You could slip him some benedryl :slight_smile:

If all else fails, put a large chunk of steel in his underoos and then place him near a VERY LARGE MAGNET. I’ve always thought something like this inside their sleepers and the magnet under the bed would be a big big seller. AND who says Magnetic therapy doesn’t work?

Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.

#11

Children make excellent bookends, and/or doorstops. They’re good ornaments too, if you have a REALLY BIG Christmas tree. Skinny little kids make good coasters. Use a plumper one for a really comfortable footrest.

Just kidding… :wink:

#12

I tell little kids scary stories about monsters who eat noisy, whining, _______, (fill in the blank with whatever the kid does that bugs you) children. I always swear it really happened to someone I knew.

They stay quiet for hours afterwards.

I once told my son about the little boy we used to have, before he came along, who was eaten by the sleepy monster. He lives in the floorboards, hates to be waken up by crying kids, so he eats kids who cry at bedtime. My son laughed and asked why it never ate his sister.

HMMMMM…

#13

I was just reading the minutes of the Chicago party. Then I was thinking, what would be the other extreme: A SDMB members with kids kiddie party. But no, I have a rollerskating party for 8 year olds for my son. That alone will wipe me out for some time.

#14

Piss em off by beating them at their own favorite videogame.

I made that mistake by beating the neighborhood brat at Mortal Kombat 2 at 7-11 one time. 3 years later, I still know who is tp-ping my trees every Halloween. Talk about a grudge.

Got him with the hose this year though so I ended the year off well.

I know that I have put you through hell, and I know that I have been one rough pecker. But from here on, you are all in my cool book.- Seth Gecko From Dusk Till Dawn

#15

One of his favorite things is to pretend that he’s my dog. He will crawl and sniff things and give a bark when he wants a treat. I get one of those fruit roll up things and tear off a part and then have him sit up, roll over, speak… he can play this for HOURS!

It’s worked for a lot of things. Like sitting at the table and eating: I just tell him how my dog behaves at the table (so, like, I LIE!) and he will do what I say in order to play the game. Very cool.

Honestly, I don’t want anyone out here to think I don’t love him to the ends of the earth; I do. He’s one of the best men in my life at the moment. It’s just hard sometimes. I don’t know how my sister does this 24/7.

But when he tones down and curls up to me to watch some TV or read a book I just melt. He is so sweet and basic. I need a hug. I need a kiss. Do you love me? Can we play? I wish I could be so honest and straight forward with MY needs!

Best!
Byz

#16

London broil.

A nice brisket is always a crowd pleaser.

Then he said, “That is that.”
And then he was gone.
-Dr. Seuss, * The Cat in the Hat*