What does one do with a 9 year old?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I thought I had it bad until I read B_Line12’s “Did they have to call 911” post. Now, I think I just have a mild case of kid-itis. But I still need HELP.

Here’s the scene: SO invites his 9 year old niece to spend a few days with us. A few days turned into a long weekend, which turned into a week. We’re in day 5 of that week, and SO is about to go batty. Neither of us have kids, and I think we’ve just scrapped any plans to eventually have any. This kid, though not as bad as B-Line’s 4, is a devil child.

Niece is 9 years old. Very cute. We took her to the local amusement park on Saturday, and to the Renaissance Festival on Sunday. On both days, she was OK until we had the gall to disagree with her. With even mild rebukes, like “We’ll throw tomatoes at the jester after we have lunch, not right now.” she gives dirty looks and whines. Upon leaving the Ren Fest, we told her she could do one more thing (either go on a ride, or play a game) on the way out. She was bitterly disappointed everytime we passed something she couldn’t do. On the way home we capitulated and decided to have fast food for dinner (something we NEVER do) and were promptly subjected to a whiney crying fit when we decided to go to McDonald’s rather than Taco Bell.

I’m actually HAPPY to be at work right now. SO took the week off to spend with her, so he’s stuck.

The problem: What to do with her tonight, when SO wants to watch a basketball game that he’s been looking forward to for a week? We’ve usually been getting home late and popping a movie in, but that won’t work tonight. The child seems completely unable to entertain herself in any way, so I’m at a loss at what to do sans TV. She doesn’t read (I tried giving her books, not interested) and has already gone through just about every toy she brought with her.

Any suggestions? And what to do with her tomorrow? Both SO and I were both readers, and happily spent much of our childhood either with books or doing some other solitary activity. We’re at a loss. She leaves Wednesday. That gives us another 48 hours in which to entertain her. HELP!

2

Put the kid in the back yard (on a long chain, so it can run around without leaving actually the yard) with extra water and food. That’s what I do with my dog.

3

Teach her how to mix cocktails. With any luck, she’ll pass out till it’s time for her to go home, and will treat her parents to the hangover personality they deserve.

4

<sigh> We’ve thought of that. We even have a fenced in backyard. Unfortunately, we’re pretty sure the neighbors would call the police after a few hours. We don’t want to go to jail, and my SO would like to be able to continue speaking to his sister after this visit. I’m pretty sure she’d have a fit if we killed her kid.

Then again, that may be why she shipped her out to us in the first place…

5

Didn’t Jonathan Swift say that they make a lovely ragout or stew?

6

How about a cooking project? You could make some food that she likes, but which is a little time consuming.

I’ve also found that the more you cater to the “I’m bored” schtick, the shorter the kid’s attention span becomes. I would do something with her for a while and then say, “I have some things I have to get done and you’re going to have to entertain yourself for a while.” Offer her some alternatives, including the books, and leave her to it. Generally, kids will whine for a while and then settle down with something. (You will, of course, be supervising her.)

7

cher3, at first I thought you were about to offer the same solution as me. :smiley:

8

Go to the video store and rent about a half-dozen Sailor Moon movies. Let her have her own little film festival. Pop some corn with her beforehand.

You won’t win any prizes for enriching her life, but that should be the parents’ job, anyway.

If you want to feel all noble about doing something that’ll improve her mind, head for the toy shop and get an embroidery kit or something like that. Arts and Crafts is usually a hit.

9

Somebody sounds a little spoiled to me. Now I’m thinking that since you only have to live with her for 2 more days, you want to concentrate on keeping her quiet instead of turning her into a reasonable human being (which would take at least a month, if not more).

My son really loves Gameboy, is there anyway you could borrow one of those, or if she has one, a new game?

They sell some pretty neat craft kits at toy stores, that seem like they would be fun for a girl. Things like making your own friendship bracelets and candles. She’s probably old enough to do it on her own, and you could give her encouragment during the commercial breaks. Perhaps if you present it to her as making cool gifts for mom or her friends, rather than a project, she might be more willing to try it.

Depending on how nice your furniture is, you could let her play with all your makeup and costume jewelry. Or maybe try on your dress up clothes (not with make up on though!). During breaks, she could give you a fashion show, and you could take her picture to show off back home.

Hope this helps! It’s just two more days, be strong. Some of us have to keep kids full time, ya know. :wink:

10

Personal opinion- lay down the law.

Most really whiny children I’ve had to deal with (which, thankfully, have been veyr few and far between) tend to be whiny because they know that being whiny gets them what they want (witness you taking her for fast food).

I see you having two options-

1.) Lay down the law. SO gets to watch his show. You’ll help young girl come up with stuff to do- maybe play a game with her, etc.- but no matter how much young girl whines about it, don’t give in. It’s your house, and remind her of that.

Good side- if it works, you may not have to put up with much whining for the rest of the ‘visit’.

Bad side- Incredible levels of whining will be achieved as young girl is shocked, amazed, and then offended by not getting her wish immediately. Incredible patience and fortitude may be necessary to keep from giving in.

2.) SO finds someplace else to watch the game, crisis averted, and smile a lot when returning young girl to the parents who have raised her in this way. Keep in mind that they get to have her for the rest of their lives.

11

Hmmmm… good suggestions, all. I seem to do OK with her, as long as I have a good activity for her to do. SO, on the other hand, is constantly drawn into battles with her. She’s good at getting on his nerves. It’s almost made me think that there really is something to this females-are-better-with-kids thing. He’s been exposed to kids way more than I have, yet I seem to handle her better.

tatertot, yes, it’s very obvious that she’s not very used to not getting her way. She is a product of her parents, who let her run all over them. And you’re right on - I’m not trying to fix her, I’m trying to keep sane for 2 more days. I really like the “arts and crafts” idea, plus it’ll probably keep her quiet for maybe as long as 20 minutes.

John Corrado, please note that SO taking off to watch basketball game and leaving ME with devil child is NOT an option. When he spoke of this visit, my first reaction was “That’s waaaaay too long of a visit.” He assured me it was not. He now understands what I was trying to say.

As far as laying down the law, it’s not like we give in to her. We don’t. We choose our battles, and we win the ones we want to win. I just want to find a happy medium where she’s not being punished for the next 48 hours, and we’re not going insane. I’m just at a loss as to what to give her to do while the game is going.

Uke, can’t do the movies, the TV is occupied. And there’s no way I’m letting her watch TV in the bedroom unsupervised. Who knows what that would result in, not to mention that I highly doubt she’d buy into sitting in a bedroom by herself even with a video on.

cher3, as far as I can tell, unless it’s purchased from a fast food place or some sort of candy, she’s not really interested in food. So far my take on her eating is to provide food, and if she doesn’t eat it, she goes hungry. I’m afraid that getting her involved in cooking would subject her to the actual ingredients, and she’d faint when she realizes that her hamburger contains both raw meat AND pepper. Not to mention the garlic I usually sneak in.

12

Second the motion for serious arts & crafts. Painting–tempera, watercolors, even oils with supervision. Cray-pas, chalk drawings. Glitter pictures.

We have two chains of stores here for serious crafts–Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s. They have craft kits out the wazoo. Take the kid and let her pick out stuff. Wal-Mart even has stuff, too.

Iron-on t-shirt things. Fabric paint on tennis shoes or baseball hats.

Also: cooking. Doesn’t have to be from-scratch homemade. Cheat. Buy mixes and make things. Brownies. Pillsbury cookie dough. Those bags of Tyson chicken strips, teriyaki, etc., then you add the bags of vegetables. I know, it’s not haute cuisine, but it’s “food as entertainment”.

Farmer’s market? Buy stuff and take it home and cook it. Odd seafood–real shrimps, etc. Sometimes “eeww, gross” can be mighty entertaining.

Do you have access to a good used bookstore–spend an hour, get oddball paperbacks, Girl Scout manuals, etc. Ditto used record/CD store.

Is she into clothes? Salvation Army, Goodwill, thrift shops. Garage sales. Flea markets. Even those enormous “collectible” shows, you can kill a couple of hours easy, just walking around, plus they usually have food. Jewelry shows, gem and mineral shows, reptile shows. Look in the newspaper. Boat shows.

Dog show. Cat show. Horse show. Motocross? Monster tractor pull? County fair.

If all else fails, call the public library, talk to the children’s librarian, throw yourself on her mercy and ask for suggestions.

I’ve got 3, I’ve been where you’re at, but at least I was allowed to haul off and smack mine when they got too obnoxious.

Read a factoid somewhere, the biggest cause of the breakdown of the second marriage is the children from the first marriage. Sad but true. Hang in there, this kid needs to learn that SOME grownups are not total weenies.

P.S. FWIW: An important thing I finally had to learn with my own kids is, “It’s not my obligation to entertain them 24/7. At some point, usually about age 4, they just have to learn to amuse themselves.” Every summer, the first week school is out, we go through the same thing–“I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored.” I tell them, “Is that MY problem?” And, you know, it isn’t. I say, “If you can’t find something to do, I can find something for you to do. How does scrubbing the floor under the stove sounds?” Amazing how fast they can find something to do. I know, you probably can’t tell this kid to scrub the floor under the stove, but you can still realize that at some point, she needs to learn how to amuse herself. Give her some paints and paper and go in the living room and sort laundry or something. “I have a life, too. I can’t stop everything just because you’re here visiting.”

13

Athena, I have a 9-year old girl. She is actually very into music right now, especially the Backstreet Boys. You might try a set of headphones with a favorite tape? As to the arts and crafts ideas… My daughter would be in 7th heaven if I would get her more of those “jewelry makers” and bead sets, shell painting sets, box-painting kits, etc… You can find these pretty cheap at the local toy store or even at K-Mart, Walmart, Target.

Maybe a painting kit with paints that clean up easily? Like those little “stained glass” sets? Those will keep a kid busy for quite a while, and if they mess up, they can wash off the colors and start over, taking up even more time! :slight_smile:

14

Just a P.S. re crafts: most spoiled kids will perk up if they think they’re getting something that’s normally off-limits, like serious painting stuff. They’ll just get crankier if they’re given “toy” craft kits, thinking their intelligence is being insulted. Go with the “serious” painting kits and jewelry kits. Hint–if they sell it at Toys R Us, it doesn’t count as “serious”, 'cause it’s a toy, right?

Even though this kid is technically a niece and not baggage from a first marriage, she’s still part of the package. Don’t let what happens this week turn you off the SO. "Oh, so now I see what he’s REALLY like… " :slight_smile:

15

Ask your Vetrenarian for “Chloroxipine”, it’s the stuff they use to drug brown bears that wander into town.

16

Are there other kids in the neighborhood? There’s a lot to be said letting her go into the unpredictable company of her peers. Of course, cooking shrimp sounds like a good way to push her a small step toward adulthood. We all have to get over some “eeww, gross” stuff, I think.

17

You should’ve done what I did when I invited a niece to stay with me for a week: wait until she was 17. Definately more managable. :slight_smile:

And if you happen to be on this board, Kirstie, it was a wonderful visit. – Uncle Tony

18

Chloroform. In large quantities. Use liberally.

19

Tell her that it is SO turn to watch tv. Ask her what she wants to do. Who knows she may say “Go home”.You of course have the final say.Get out a cook book and turn to the cookie pages.Tell her if she is good “We’ll make some chocolate chip cookies later”.Maybe you two should go to the store for the ingredients.
Don’t give in to her whining. Put a chair in the corner and announce"that is for time out".
You are making it hard. you don’t have to entertain her all the time.

20

Bring in another child, got any friends with children? Must be no older/younger than 1 1/2 years either way. Must be female, just in case she’s one of those kind of girls that won’t play with boys. They will entertain each other. Do not I repeat…Do not introduce a third girl…two’s company three’s a crowd, only applies to girls. Good luck.

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