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Originally posted by JosephFinn
If you’re talking their previous ad campaign with people like Sherman Helmsley and Barbara Eden, I’ll agree with you. Those were bizzare and annoying.
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Boy! You got THAT right! I never did figure out who that old lady was, although my sources tell me she is or was a biggie in the fashion industry - but she was way, way, way wrong for a televised commercial. She gave me the creeps!
Plus those ads looked like Wal-Mart Lite to me…
That little girl in the Pepsi ads is real annoying. A bit aggressive and mean, and that dubbed voice makes her sound possessed.
I still hate a commercial that’s not aired any more - the Starz channel. Music - Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, choral section. Lyrics (and highly creative they are, too) - “Movies, movies, movies, movies…” Bastards.
Anne Murray. I have to mute the tv during those LONG commercials because they make me physically ill. I hate her voice, I hate her religious dreck song choices, I hate them! I hate her!
Yeah, I hate those diamond ads, too. And the pantyhose ad with the catty ladies.
In fact, I hate any ad that plays off of/reinforces negative stereotypes about women. Granted, it’s an effective marketing technique, but do they have to be so freakin’ obvious about it?
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*Originally posted by HelloKitty *
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The first time I saw that commercial I said to myself, “So, where did he plug in the tree?” It’s not like there is an outlet in that remote mountaintop area, and I sure didn’t hear a generator cranked up.
When I was living in Memphis in the mid-80s, the worst ads were for Jolly Royal furniture. I recall a really stupid laugh being a major part of the annoyance.
OK, I just saw this commercial a minute ago. I absolutely hate it. It’s for Cottonelle, and it features a talking roll of toilet paper with a British accent.
I tend to associate a refined British accent with things that are good and appealing, not with a talking roll of toilet paper that’s kindly requesting me to use it. If that’s the case, why not come right out and express the true nature of the commercial?
[refined British accent]
“Dear Sir or Madam. Please tear me off, wad me up, jam me between your buttocks and smear me with your feces. Thank you, and have a good day.”
[/refined British accent]
:rolleyes:
wad? WAD?? I fold, thank you. “please tear me off, fold me, and blot urine from your labia, please…” yeah, doesn’t sound much better, does it?
Or the one where the bear goes to take a shit in the woods. With the TP roll on a branch the bear sits at the base of a tree, opens a newspaper, pauses, then wiggles his ass around. Must have found a good root or something.
Do these commercials ever end? Or do you have to wait for the network to go out of business and another to take over its niche? Besides, they run them on Cartoon Network of all places. I know that not all viewers are kids (like a certain 27 year old engineer I could name), but is this really the demographic they’re targeting with (bad) gospel music?
That brings me to the one commercial I hate more than Anne Murray–the awful, endless “My Real Baby” commercials that also run on Cartoon Network. They’re dolls, dammit, not some life-altering, uplifting miracle as the smarmy, breathless, high-on-crack voiceover would have you believe. I always get the SNL “Happy Fun Ball” skit stuck in my head when it runs–“Do not taunt the My Real Baby.” It makes me mute the TV and leave the room.
You bastard! I really should get some sort of plastic covering for my keyboard. Posts like this make me snarf all over it 
I forgot about that commercial. The next time it comes on, I just know I’m gonna bust out laughing.
Thanks for reminding me of that one. My old roommate & I used that for everything. I always got a kick out of the warning not to taunt Happy Fun Ball.
There is this commercial running around Detroit now with people telling you all the terrible things about satelite television. Then it never tells you who made the commercial. “Satelites are evil and ruined my marriage, blah, blah, blah.” Then at the end in big letters it says:
Satelite TV is not all it is cracked up to be!
A smear commercial? I’d expect that from a congressman but not my local cable station thankyouverymuch.
Ya know, I like some commercials (heard one on the radio with a kid screeching “I can’t stand the torment!!!” because the other kids made fun of his dad for having a slow internet connection) and I hate a lot of them (Pepsi girl, 1-800-SAFE AUTO, those godawful diamond commercials where the woman’s friend gets “hypmotized” by her engagement ring, etc…), but…
What really concerns me is how there is a different standard for the truth in commercials. When a factual claim is made in a commercial, 99% of the time it’s open to serious, obvious criticism, if not an outright lie. I think this sort of inures people to real-life lying after a while. Personally, I used to think I could say any damn thing and get people to swallow it, but after I spent time working with some people with an extremely low bullshit tolerance, I realized the error of my ways. That’s about the time commercials started to bother me.
There’s a new juice girl. PLEASE tell me that’s a wig!
Also, there’s a generic ambulance-chasing lawyer commercial where, just when the old geezer lawyer asks the slightly younger weasel lawyer who the opposing lawyer is, the camera switches back to the old guy and you hear the poorly overdubbed name of a local sleazebag lawyer. Then, Robert Vaughan comes on telling you just how serious (insert local sleazebag lawyer here) is about getting you the money YOU DESERVE!!! At first I thought the local sleazebag had the ad made until I saw it on a New York station with a different name.
And speaking of the little demon spawn in the Pepsi commercials…
Guess who’s shilling for them now? KISS. They’re up on stage in full regalia, cranking out the Pepsi tune, when who do we see but Curly, complete with her own little kabuki make-up job and guitar! Awwwww, ain’t she cute? :rolleyes:
I don’t care if it’s been mentioned fifteen times already, I’ll read this thread when I’m done:
I fu…<checking forum> friggin’ HATE that Jamacan psychic bit…<checks forum again> chick.
I grind my teeth and can’t change the channel quick enough. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.
Okay…my sincerest thanks to whoever came up with this topic because it gives me a chance to rant about something i have very strong opinions about.
Okay–first of all, there are several important types of car commercials. All of them suck and make me want to tear my hair out. I change the channel, but inevitably there is another car commercial on that one, and if not, I will for sure miss part of my TV show. Anyway, Type #1: Over a background of “Space Invaders” type video game music (consisting mostly of laser noises) a man with a loud nasal voice spews random numbers at you, including phrases like “we will not be undersold” and “everything must go” and “the biggest sale of the year”. All of this is so loud and amazingly fast that I am unable to comprehend what is going on and feel completely harrassed. Then comes the fine print, which is spoken, I’m sure, by that guy who used to do the MicroMachines commercials. He talks really fast and you worry that he could be asking you to sell your kidneys. And then they tell you the name of the car dealership, which is a random collection of ridiculous names of cars and famous people, like “Michael Jackson Honda Toyota Amadeus Ford Tammy Faye Chevrolet”. This is the type I hate the most. The next worse is only slightly more tolerable, because usually it is not so hard on the ears. This is the one where you see a majestic SUV drive off the road, through a forest, splash through a stream (startling several small woodland animals), ride up a rocky mountain, until finally perching atop a cliff, where the owner of the car gets out, stares at the beauty of nature, and ponders the meaning of life. The fact that some people actually buy this crap makes me worry. If they stopped taking their denial pills for a while, they might realize that they would be driving this car to Walmart to pick up Lunchables and laundry detergent. The 3rd type would not be so bad, if it weren’t for the fact that it was soooooo insanely boring and pretentious. This is the one where they have the guy with the smarmy English accent and a completely black stage, and the car is revolving on some sort of platform in a pool of light in the center. Smarmy British Man tells you the features of the car and then explains that if you don’t have it, you will be a complete loser. Oh, and don’t forget the serene classical music reminding you how high priced the thing is. Last but not least, is the one with the middle aged guy in sunglasses driving down the road in some sports car, and they’re playing something irritating and pseudo-manly like “American Woman”. This is mid-life crisis material, people. Anyway, I don’t see why they refuse to make car commercials funny. I would watch them, I really would! If anyone else has any types to add, go ahead, I may have missed a few.
Ok, there are a few other commercials that piss me off. I’m not one to be overly femininazi, but sometimes things just seem silly. I’ve noticed a lot of commercials for Sears or something telling me i can get “A big power drill for Dad”, and “A microwave oven and blender set, perfect for Mom!” Is it just me, or are those completely sexist stereotypes? A woman’s place is in the kitchen. Guys like big tools. Can you say, “Sooooo last century”? Anyway, I don’t need some radio person telling me what MY parents want for Christmas. If I want to get my mom a chainsaw and a subscription to Playboy, I will go right ahead.
It kind of bothers me the way toilet paper commercials are not willing to say “toilet paper”. They have to say “bathroom tissue”. No one says that except in the commercial. When there’s no toilet paper, do you ask where the extra bathroom tissue is? I guess it’s a no-win situation. No one is going to be able to make toilet paper sound clean enough for television.
This may be a local thing, but has anyone seen that Money Guy on television?? He’s walking around in front of the White House, and he has this hideous suit with different colored question marks all over it. Basically he screams at you about how you can take money from the government to do whatever you want!! They have people on there talking about how they got free money to write a novel, or to start their own business. The thing that really gets me though, is when he says “HAVING FREE MONEY TO DO WHAT YOU WANT IS LIKE BEING ON VACATION EVERY DAY!!!” I don’t think I need to say anything about that.
I know someone else said something about the complete stupidity of prescription drug ads, especially because they never really tell you what the drug is for. But my favorite part is where they talk about the side effects. That woman always seems so calm and cheerful talking about the various rashes, boils, and vomiting spells you could have while taking Xanadax, or whatever it happens to be. While she’s discussing the possibility of hair loss, the couple on the screen is frolicking down the beach, holding hands like everything’s fine. Good thing their bathing suits cover up all of those nasty rashes.
DO NOT TRUST LAWYERS WHO HAVE TELEVISION COMMERCIALS. EVER. IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW MANY CERTIFICATES THEY HAVE ON THEIR WALL. IF THEY HAVE TO ADVERTISE ON TV, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.
Have you seen the Jamaican psychic? She speaks with this heavy accent, and she has all of these ethnic looking clothes on. But for some reason, i don’t really buy the Jamaican thing. I think she’s just some lady who decided that she’d seem more credible if she wore a head wrap and spoke English in a way that was almost unintelligible. Anyway, she comes on all the time and explains to people things that they already know, like “You are in a relationship right now.” And then they say, “Well actally, I’m single.” So she looks at her tarot cards (in the commercial, i would bet they’re not around when you actually call), and she says “But you’re looking for a relationship.” And the person on the other end almost has a heart attack. Like, “How could she know this secret part of my life???” I don’t know who’s worse, the lady who rips these people off, or the people who pay 3 dollars a minute to have a woman with an outlandish accent make educated guesses.
Well…off to watch more tv…I’m sure i’ll come up with something else in the first 5 minutes that drives me up the wall.
Alright, alright. I know I just posted something insanely long, but i thought of something else.
Have you seen those jewelry commercials that say “Every kiss begins with Kay”? Argh!! This is terrible! Your relationship must be pretty deep and meaningful when you need a diamond ring to get you in the mood to kiss your loved one.
One commercial i DO like, however, is the one with the guy with the corduroys being followed by the badger. Has anyone seen this??? It makes me laugh out loud every time.
I loathe, loathe, the Radio Shack ads with Howie Long and Teri Hatcher. I cannot beLIEVE their market research tells them a marketing campaign featuring a thick-necked athlete behaving in a condescending manner toward a giggling, ditzy brunette is a good corporate image. I don’t shop at Radio Shack now. Not like I did much before (though occasionally the odd electronic component called out to me), but now I never do.
What Cervaise just said!
Also, what everyone has said about the diamond commercials. Anyone else think that all the jewelry shown in these ads is just incredibly ugly? I wear little to no jewelry, and would never ever ever wear anything so big and gaudy.
I can’t believe no Bay Area resident has mentioned Paul from the Diamond Center. He was off the air for years and years, but I just saw him the other day! Auuugggghhhh!!