Link please?
The first one is here, and you should be able to google Cleolinda [Twilight title].
Male, straight, 29 here.
Shut up, Mean Girls is awesome - Tina Fey in a bra (who also wrote it, meaning it’s funny as hell), pre-skank Lindsay, what’s not to like for real men?
Okay, while I’m here, I have to ask - let me get this straight … the vampires in Twilight are vampires only in the sense that they have fangs and don’t like the sun? And they drink clamato juice rather than blood, because they’re too wussy to actually kill people?
I watched the first episode of True Blood, and even with vampires who actually act like vampires, it was way way too girly/gay for my tastes. I can only imagine how horrid Twilight is…
They don’t even dislike the sun. That is, they like the sun just fine. You may have taken all this “sparkly vampire” stuff to be pure sarcasm, like calling them pink fluffy vampires or something, but it isn’t. The reason the Twilight vampires avoid direct sunlight is that it makes them sparkle and they don’t want to blow their cover.
No, really.
I’m not kidding. That’s the explanation. They sparkle. The book contains lengthy, overwrought descriptions of this. The movie just has a cheesy special effect that looks like something from an early '80s fantasy flick.
*The main vampire character and his vampire family drink animal blood, which is I guess slightly more intimidating than clamato.
I’ve read the entire Twilight series and thought the first and third books were quite entertaining. The books have been better than the films, but that has not prevented my daughter from requesting to see the midnight premier of Eclipse. I suppose I’ll have to tag along, just to see what all the fuss is about. 
Len
I actually want to see the scene of the movie where they cut the baby out of the annoying main character.
Just to see how they do it and keep the movie PG or PG-13…
Now you’re wussy if you don’t murder people?
Also, I maintain the same point regarding True Blood. The series is lame, but the actual personality of the vampires in it, definitely not gay/lame.
That’s the one thing I’ll give the Twi-vamps over Angel and Spike. They didn’t visit a blood bank or tap the local rat population, they went hunting after grizzlies with just their teeth.
Any monster worth his salt would just tear Bella to pieces and be done with it. She’s too emo, too “oh poor me”, too self absorbed, and if anyone bothered to watch Full Moon, she’s a manipulative little twit.
The main vampire, unlike all the rest, has been completely celibate since his vamping. In fact, I believe he was a virgin before, as well. He has a special ability that makes any girl fall for him (can’t remember what it’s called.) Even his “brothers” and “sisters” think there’s something wrong with him. Even after meeting Bella, it is HE who decides they should wait.
Combine this with the fact that these vampires have basically been neutered like Angel and Spike, apparently having a soul, and the fact that their all played by pretty boys, and I can understand why some people would call Edward gay.
ETA: Typed this up and forgot to post. Missed the one right above me: Yes, Bella is whiney brat. I love that the movie realized that all the crap about her being an ugly girl that no one likes was crap. That’s the one thing that makes the movie a bit better: no whining narrator.
Only because they’re too soft to kill something cuddlier. Going after grizzlies doesn’t make you badass unless you’re already badass. Otherwise it just reminds everyone how much of a Mary Sue you are.
This reminds me of a Twilight/Supernatural crossover fanfic in which the Winchesters investigate some odd goings on in Forks, WA. Turns out that Bella Swan has gotten ahold of a magic book that makes everything she’s written it in real. And she wrote…Twilight. The Winchesters destroy the book, Bella turns out to be a Plain Jane, and Edward changes from the sparklepire in the book into a monstrous beast who tries to kill her.
It was pretty entertaining, and better-written than the actual book, imho.
If you’re a vampire, yes. That’s the whole point of being a vampire!!!
Okay, so in WHAT aspect are these Twilight characters vampires??? I really need to give that rifftrax a watch. The ET rifftrax was the funniest 2 hours of my life, no joke.
I think once you argue that killing grizzly bears with your bare hands, and drinking their blood, is lame, you are grasping for it.
Ok, I didn’t know this, good point. Part of the reason he wants to wait, is that he is afraid he cannot control his desire to drink her blood, though. But still.
I dunno. There are now many vampires who don’t murder people. Angel, True Blood, Anne Rice, etc. Btw for a vampire who really is gay, contrast Interview With a Vampire.
Let’s say you become a vampire. Do you suddenly become gay/lame, just because you don’t want to murder.
Why is that so hard to believe that a lame character can’t be redeemed simply by adding uncharacteristic traits? Make a Blood Knight hunt down and butcher apex predators and the audience may be impressed, but make Broody McVampire do the same thing and it’s just laughable.
None of which are held up as shining examples of vampirekind, by the way.
Didn’t all of Anne Rice’s vampires kill people? It’s been years since I read any of her books and I didn’t read any of the later ones, but it’s my recollection that in the first four or so books then the vampires definitely killed people. Some went through periods where they lived off animal blood or refrained from draining some of their human victims, but I don’t think any of them totally refrained from killing anyone.
Did you see Superman Returns?
I didn’t read Twilight, and I had never heard of clamato before now; before wiki-ing it, I thought you were referring to some derivative of the word clam.
Which made me a bit excited to see how Twilight would’ve handled that premise.
I watched the first one a few days ago. It was enjoyable in the same way Plan 9 and Battlefield Earth are- Insanely bad acting and story. When the credits rolled, I was surprised to see no “Alan Smithee.”
I can see two good things about the movie, without which it’d be intolerable. One, Edward’s sister Alice is insanely hot. Two, Edward is also pretty hot. (This according to my adult sister. He’s pretty handsome, but I’m not questioning heterosexuality over him. Also Robert Pattinson is better in Harry Potter. Cedric Digory didn’t sparkle and wear lipstick.)
There’s just soooooooo much stupidity, presumably in the book as well. For me, the big one, evil vampire guy decides he has a thing for Bella. So what do we do? Hang out with the 6 or 7 good guys at their house and wait for him? No! You take 1 or 2 worthless people with you and run away from home. Let’s not stay put with the experienced people on their home turf. I’m not one to blame the victim, but Bella’s ass should’ve died.
I think, though, that the series will be good for today’s youth, or at least the boys. When I like a girl, I have to think of stuff to say, work up some courage, and introduce myself. Now a boy can just be as creepy as hell and stalk a girl and she’ll think he’s nice and sweet. Kids these days…