I have had that same thought more times than I can count.
I am a 100% Hetero man.
I can say 100% because I did try some gay stuff with a friend of mine back in high school. Oddly enough, we were looking at his brother’s Playboys and Penthouses and got so aroused (teenage hormones and all) we decided we should satisfy our urges with each other. Neither one of us found it at all pleasurable and I’ve never been tempted to try it again.
If I could choose, though, I would be bi. Or Pan, or whatever you want to call it. Double the pool of potential partners.
My wife is bi. We’ve had a couple MFF threeways in the past. She says that if anything were to happen to me, she would probably date women exclusively.
The Kinsey Scale (Yes, that guy Kinsey from all those questionnaires in the 1940’s.)
Kinsey did not just put up a rating scale: he asked tens of thousands of people to rate themselves. The results:
The reports also state that nearly 46% of the male subjects had “reacted” sexually to persons of both sexes in the course of their adult lives, and 37% had at least one homosexual experience.
11.6% of white males (ages 20–35) were bisexual and rated as 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) throughout their adult lives.] The study also reported that 10% of American males surveyed were “more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55”. (in the 5 to 6 range).
Women: 7% of single females aged 20–35 and 4% of previously married females aged 20–35 rated 3.
Two to 6% of females, aged 20–35, rated 5 (mostly lesbian and incidentally hetero) and 1 to 3% of unmarried females rated as 6 (exclusively lesbian)
100% heterosexual female.
In high school I became best friends with someone who, after graduation, came out to me. When we turned 21 we discovered that she was very uncomfortable in straight bars – she could barely handle it when women hit on her; she’d kind of freak out when men did – but I didn’t mind being in gay bars, so I spent pretty much all of my 20s in gay bars/the community. I got to do plenty of thinking about my own sexuality, and I had several opportunities for experimentation if I’d been interested. Turned out I wasn’t. I can appreciate the appearance of a nice pair of tits, and I can be stunned by the beauty of some women, but that’s about it.
I love this! 
The sex that people want to have sex with and the sex that people want to have relationships with are not always the same. (It might not be a new term, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it.)
This is exactly what I was about to say: relationships are not just friendships with sex, despite what some of the “I wish I were gay” people seem to think.
Have you tried men?
As for me . . . well, you all know about me. I can appreciate a hot woman, but it’s an esthetic response, not a sexual one.
All of the lesbian envy in this thread makes me feel good.
I think you guys should consider envying bi women though.
I get the choice to have sex with women (and I usually do go that way). But if the one in a million perfect guy comes around, I am still attracted to him too.
It’s great.
(I suppose there’s no point in evangelizing sexuality, but whatever. :p)
Hetero with virtually no sex drive so effectively asexual.
I consider myself 99% heterosexual, so I went with that. From a sex standpoint, I’m 100%. From a romantic standpoint, I’m 100%. You’d think that’d be all, but it’s not. But I have occasionally seen a guy that I thought was attractive. I had no desire to do anything, but I did notice I caught myself thinking “if he were a girl, he’d be hot.” (or, more likely, “if a girl had that feature, she’d be hot”).
I’ve always said you can find someone attractive who you are not attracted to, but only recently did I apply that to myself. It used to cause quite a bit of distress to me (Google HOCD if you wonder why.) So I’m glad I’ve accepted myself on this.
But, anyways, I figured it out recently and haven’t been able to share it with anyone, so I took the opportunity to do it here.
And, of course, I scroll up a slight bit, and I see someone else say almost exactly what I was trying to say, but much better. (with sexuality reversed, of course.)
Don’t know why it was so hard for me. I know women do it all the time, but I guess I’d internalized that guys don’t.
I’m a confirmed heterosexual man, but I think that (leaving aside prejudices and all that) it would be much easier being a homosexual. I just… don’t get along well with women very often. It would be so much easier if I could just excise that whole situation from my life.
Exactly the same for me. I answered “other”.
What a lopsided poll. Guess they don’t call this the Straight Dope for nuthin’.
Teleosexual: somewhere between 2009-2011 I realized that everything I’ve had is probably everything I was going to have.
The SDMB actually appears to be rather less straight than society at large, even if we were to lump the asexuals and “others” in with the heterosexuals. Statistics about who is gay and who isn’t varies, but I’m not aware of any study where the number of gay + bi folks hits 16% of the total U.S. population ( as opposed to certain urban areas like SF, where it might ).
Are you hitting on me? If so I’ll get the helmets.
For me (and I’m sure for many people) sexual attraction has been a mix of dead ends, the reemergence of childhood wounds (there is validity to the theory that people pursue sexual relationships that tie into childhood hurts that were never healed, or that they are repeating destructive patterns from when they were young) and heartbreak. Some people find a lot of fun and nurturance in romantic relationships, but for some of us the bad experiences outnumber the good. There have been some good experiences, but a lot of bad ones too.
I didn’t mean to come across so flippant.
I don’t like being asexual. I am ashamed and embarrassed by it. Even though I don’t talk about it IRL, I always feel like I have a giant A on my forehead.
But if I woke up tomorrow as a flaming sexy person, I know I’d be in for a world of misery that I can’t even imagine.
I’m totally (totally) hetero but I wish I was gay 'cause I’ve always wanted a penis in my mouth. And in my bum. But it can’t happen 'cause I’m only attracted to the ladies (and only hot ladies, dammit!).
I was just pointing out that you may not realize the pain and disappointment you could open yourself up to. A person (and by ‘a person’ I mean me) may not figure out that it is really, really important to make good decisions in this area until the damage has been done.
For some people romance and dating is fun, gratifying and fulfilling. But for a whole lot of us it isn’t. Its kindof like the parallel thread someone else has going about how people envy him for having almost no emotions. He may not have the good emotions, but he also doesn’t have to live with the bad ones either.
Why does asexuality make you feel ashamed?
Straight, but I’m bi incurious.
Straight married female. I’m a natural flirt, it’s my nature, not serious flirting that will lead to anything. I have been hit on by straight males and gay and lesbians.
Never slept with a female but have had some fabulous dreams where I did.
I find androgynous females very attractive but never enough to do anything about it. Enjoy watching men have sex. A gay friend who once told me I ‘looked like a guy from behind’ while he was cutting my hair came to the conclusion that in my last life I was a raging queen.
Maybe I’m a gay man in a female body… I can live with that.