What types of porn are people searching for? [NSFW]

[Sage_Rat]

Do my best.

[TV_time]

See, I thought teenage poultry porn would be much higher.

[Guinastasia]

@Evil One

What about this title…which caused me to nearly collapse from convulsive laughter?

“Ninety and Naughty”

You should have seen the photo.

Meh, that’s nothing. Try doing a search for “pornosaurus”. It’s both really really bad and really really funny at the same time.

[Princhester]

I think also the number of searches are heavily biased against what people seek regularly.

The following is a gross oversimplification but is perhaps illustrative: let’s say I like plain boy-and-girl-fuck porn.

I do one search. I obtain a zillion url’s. I try a few of them. I find several sites with regularly updated material. I go back to them time and time again over a period of (say) a year before I get completely bored and do another search.

One time in that year, because I am a curious teenager, I type “animal porn” into a search engine. I check out a few of the hits, gross myself out, sate my curiousity and never go back.

Your stats would show me as liking animal porn as much as straight porn. But clearly, that is an utterly inaccurate picture.

[mr.jp]

Hmm, this is AOL. I think they search for different things than people using google.

[dropzone]

@Sage Rat

I think that “teen” mostly just means “hasn’t had a boob job.”

From the stretch marks it doesn’t seem to mean “isn’t a mother of four.”

[Elendil_s_Heir]

@GIGObuster

…I guess this confirms Rule 34.

Urban Dictionary: Rule 34

Dave Barry once wrote that sex is so omnipresent on the Web that if you did a search for “Porn about having sex with goats that are on fire,” before long you’ll get an automated message asking you to clarify, “What kind of goats?”

[bouv]

@Sage Rat

I think that “teen” mostly just means “hasn’t had a boob job.”

You forgot “and has hair in pigtails.” :rolleyes:

[bouv]

@Elendil's Heir

Dave Barry once wrote that sex is so omnipresent on the Web that if you did a search for “Porn about having sex with goats that are on fire,” before long you’ll get an automated message asking you to clarify, “What kind of goats?”

The sexy kind.
Duh.

[Mister_Rik]

@Little Nemo

With all these people looking for “teen porn” and “teen sex” I guess there must be a lot of twenty year old women feeling desperate and lonely now that their peak years are past.

Not really. If you just go looking for “porn”, you’re going to end up with a lot of sites featuring women with the traditional “porn star” look: huge, fake tits, big hair, and way too much makeup. Some of us don’t find that appealing at all; some of us like smaller breasts and a more natural look. The stuff typically classified as “teen porn” generally features the smaller-breasted, more natural models who don’t look like “porn stars” - in other words, girls you might actually meet in real life. And they’re “teens” only by virtue of some of them being 18 or 19. The “teen” porn models usually fall between the ages of 18 and 25.

[Der_Trihs]

@BrainGlutton

So where’s the hobbit porn?!

It’s out there. Not to mention Gandalf porn. And Orc porn. And Orc-on-elf porn. Really.

I do recall a rather funny picture titled “Frodo discovers the power of the One Ring”. Galadriel is giving Frodo a blow job while he dangles the Ring on it’s chain over her head, and he’s saying, “And if you use your tongue right, maybe I’ll let you touch it !”

Then there’s Zerg porn and Xenomorph porn and Borg porn and dinosaur porn and Klingon porn and World of Warcraft porn . . .

[GIGObuster]

@Der Trihs

…and World of Warcraft porn . . .

http://news.com.com/2061-10797_3-6067025.html

The Internet is for porn (and ‘World of Warcraft’)
May 1, 2006

One of the best things about the Internet these days is the unending flow of terrific Web videos that crack you up, even as you’re wondering who has the time to put such things together.

Now, with “The Internet is for porn,” comes perhaps (hyperbole warning!) the king of all such silliness.

The “The Internet is for porn” video was made entirely in “World of Warcraft,” but the lyrics for one glorious number–one in which a lady monster sings about the Internet’s most wonderful aspects while a slightly gruffer male monster counters that “the Internet is for porn,”–is straight from (as pointed out by an alert reader) the Broadway musical, “Avenue Q.”

In the song, the monster’s go back and forth–she argues that anyone who would use the Internet for porn is a pervert. He essentially replies: “Hey, what do you think they made the Internet for in the first place?”

With link to the video in the report. (not porn in that funny video, except an R rated frame at the end and NSFW lyrics)

[Autolycus]

It must be creepy to be a porn star downloading porn and accidentally watch yourself :eek:

[BrainGlutton]

@Autolycus

It must be creepy to be a porn star downloading porn and accidentally watch yourself :eek:

Are you kidding?! That’s the best part!

[BrainGlutton]

@GIGObuster

The Internet is for porn

From the hit Broadway musical “Avenue Q”:

THE PORNO MONSTER:

The Internet is for porn!
The Internet is for porn!
Me all night, hugging my horn
To Internet porn!

[Elendil_s_Heir]

@Autolycus

It must be creepy to be a porn star downloading porn and accidentally watch yourself :eek:

Meh. It’s happened to me so often, I’m used to it.

[tomndebb]

Well, there is no deabte here.

My first thought was IMHO, but it seems to be discussing (somewhat) a genre, I guess it actually belongs more in Cafe Society.

Sorry, Dex.

[ /Moderating ]

[coffeecat]

@Elendil's Heir

Dave Barry once wrote that sex is so omnipresent on the Web that if you did a search for “Porn about having sex with goats that are on fire,” before long you’ll get an automated message asking you to clarify, “What kind of goats?”

And a Google ad telling you that eBay’s the ideal place to find a wide selection of gently used flaming sex goats.

[Eltanin]

@Phase42

Not really. If you just go looking for “porn”, you’re going to end up with a lot of sites featuring women with the traditional “porn star” look: huge, fake tits, big hair, and way too much makeup. Some of us don’t find that appealing at all; some of us like smaller breasts and a more natural look. The stuff typically classified as “teen porn” generally features the smaller-breasted, more natural models who don’t look like “porn stars” - in other words, girls you might actually meet in real life. And they’re “teens” only by virtue of some of them being 18 or 19. The “teen” porn models usually fall between the ages of 18 and 25.

Reread the OP - he’s not commenting on “teen porn” but is trying to pick up women.

[lowbrass]

@Princhester

I think also the number of searches are heavily biased against what people seek regularly.

The following is a gross oversimplification but is perhaps illustrative: let’s say I like plain boy-and-girl-fuck porn.

I do one search. I obtain a zillion url’s. I try a few of them. I find several sites with regularly updated material. I go back to them time and time again over a period of (say) a year before I get completely bored and do another search.

One time in that year, because I am a curious teenager, I type “animal porn” into a search engine. I check out a few of the hits, gross myself out, sate my curiousity and never go back.

Your stats would show me as liking animal porn as much as straight porn. But clearly, that is an utterly inaccurate picture.

So you’re saying animal porn is your favorite?

Just kidding.