Over in Great Debates there’s an argument going on about 9/11.
In a couple of weeks, another fight will probably start about the Kennedy Assasination.
Those two are always good for lively discussion, but come on, we’re Dopers! The smartest, savviest group on the Internet.
We should know every conspiracy that ever existed in history, from the infamous second apple that was kept out of the Bible right up to cloned human placentas being used in shampoo.
So what should we be talking about? Here are a couple that I have first-hand knowledge of a friend who knew someone who was related to someone who actually had first-hand knowledge of the Vast Conspiracy.
*Walt Disney was not frozen and hidden under the Pirates of the Carribean ride at Disneyland. He was cloned. Unfortunately, the cloning process was flawed and the result was Michael Eisner.
Microsoft has developed an operating system that requires only 20 lines of code, is infinitely scalable, totally bug-free and capable of running on a machine as simple as a Tandy TRS-80. It uses only 128 bytes of RAM and less than 1K of drive space, is backward-compatible with every program ever written for any platform and has beaten every chess grandmaster in the world. Naturally, they’ve buried it.*
Her anti-landmine campaign was growing increasingly incovenient for the US and Israel, respectively the biggest producer and uer of landmines. The CIA and Mossad began a campaign to discredit her by getting as many compromising photos of her into the press as they could. The motorcycle paparazzi were actually Mossad agents trying to get photos of her drunk, but they ended up causing the crash. In the words of my conspiracy-minded friend, “they didn’t want to kill her, they just wanted to smear her.”
I earned my place in hell by responding, “well, they did that, too.”
But few people are aware of the wing wing conspiracy. It’s a ploy to get us up out of comfy chair to go answer the damn phone. Then the dog curls up in the now vacant chair.
:: wing wing … wing wing … wing win- "Hello? Hello!? … You damn dog! Get out of my chair! ::
In the middle of the OJ Simpson trial, a new friend told me about how the LAPD had actually killed Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldsmith, and framed OJ. It was all so that, when OJ was convicted, there would be lots of rioting, and that would allow the LAPD to go on a wild killing spree of the black people of LA.
Wait, which “It’s a Conspiracy” do you mean? Because I have one written by the “National Insecurity Council” and I don’t think it mentions the Bush I/Watergate conspiracy.