To the computer:
“Come on you slow peice of trash.”
And yes, talking to people on TV count too.
In that case, Bill O’Reilly gets an earful every chance I get.
I asked my cell phone where it had gotten to.
Last thing - ’ ‘No. Not now. Oh you motherfcuing piece of good for nothing pile of crap’. My computer at work.
Away from work -‘See ya in a few weeks’ My motorbike.
“God damn it. Where the fuck are you?!” To my phone. Swear on my life it’s in the walls. That’s the only possible place it can be at this point.
“Sit!”
Does “inanimate” include co-workers?
That would be “Fuck” to my cellphone when it rang and I did not feel like answering (frankly, I rarely ever do).
To my Stihl gas powered grass trimmer, “Worthless piece of shit!” That was just before I threw it hard to the ground." It hasn’t run since. I’m a little embarrassed about breaking it, but it was such a PITA that I don’t think I’ll get it fixed. Grrr.
Does singing count? About ten minutes or so ago, I was singing an old ELO song, “The Lights Go Down” to the teakettle… then to a Satsuma… then to one of the cats, but that wasn’t very inanimate… then danced around with a sofa cushion…
Then I sang to one of the lamps as I went to turn it off with a flourish, and sang very dramatically (and apparently a little too loudly) “and there’s no one aroooooooooouuuooouuooooouuund!” And my upstairs neighbour was outside getting their mail and knocked on the window, startling me, and waved to me.
I’ve been pretty quiet since.
“Hi. Can I have a small #3 with Dr. Pepper?..Hello?”
There was nobody manning the drive-thru window.
I was serenading my kettle, too, when I was making some hot chocolate. My dog glared at me the whole time I was singing.
Lol, excellent. I was discovered singing once, only for my next door neighbour to start singing along. We were both horribly out of tune, it was great! Plus it was a backstreet boys song…cough
I told my book it was awful, with a hateful glance thrown in too. Damn NJO…
I said some very unpolite words to the bulb planter when it broke.
My computer is frequently the target of my ire. Particularly if I’m programming and the code is inexplicably not perfect …
Evey time the L&O SVU intro comes on and the announcers voice intones "The “sexually based offenses” investigated by New York’s Special Victims Unit can be “especially heinous.” - I shout “MOST HEINOUS!!”
Yes I’m alone… so alone. Why?
i said ‘chunnel this’ to my car today when the tires kept squeaking everytime i’d slow down.
-Annabelle
“Motherfucker!”
…to a straight pin that I dropped on the floor at 6:00 this morning. I was pinning a Turkish hand towel to the arm of my sofa to keep my cat from clawing it. When I dropped the pin, I feared she’d eat it or something if I couldn’t retrieve it. I got the pin with the dustbuster, though. Whew. (I’m also trying double-sided tape. Hope *something * works.)
“Fuck a duck,” when mini fire drill emails landed in my inbox. I’m trying to work, dangit!
“Ow fuck ow stop it!!” while removing the pan containing my delicious yam wedge fries from the oven. It was directed at both the oven mitt and the oven, but then I realised the oven hadn’t done anything wrong, it was all the stupid worthless oven mitt and its inability to do its job. So I apologized. To my oven.