That reminds me…As a kid, I thought when a recipe said “salt to taste,” it meant “salt for tasting.” As in “keep a bit of extra salt on the side so you can sprinkle some on your tongue before you take a little taste of what you’re cooking.”
Growing up, Dad had a bit of a midwest accent. Every time we drove across a border, such as the state line or the county line, he’d announce in his accent “There’s the state lion!” I naturally assumed that there were guard-lions stationed to protect the borders and was constantly craning my neck to try and see them as we passed. Dad sure had much better eyesight than me, I never did spot them.
When I was about 7 or 8, I for some reason believed Christmas could not fall on a Saturday, because Saturday was a fun day when you went to the movies and didn’t have to worry about homework from school. Obviously I was somewhat ignorant of the religious aspect of the day at that time.
While I thought that meant you needed to add salt otherwise you wouldn’t be able to taste it. I thought I must be weird when I tried a bit and I could taste it anyway, even though no salt had been added yet.
I read a fair number of old books growing up; therefore as a kid I was under the impression that “unprintable” was an actual swear word.
That is adorable.
I loved the way Archie Goodwin (Rex Stout) wrote swear words.
I’m certain that I had any number of misapprehensions as a young child but the only one I remember now concerned spermatozoa. Thanks to a healthy interest in science I knew about spermatozoa, ova, embryos developing in the womb, etc. The only point I hadn’t made was just how exactly spermatozoa got to an ovum; I had this vague idea that they were an airborne infection like the common cold.
As a teenager I loved all sorts of paranormal claims. Bigfoot, UFOs, Atlantis, ancient astronauts, modern humans going back millions of years, an ancient nuclear war recorded in the Vedda, a lost antediluvian world, etc. I’d never heard of it at the time but if I’d run across the “mesas are the stumps of miles-high trees” claim I’d have bought into that. Hey, it was the '70s. And I don’t remember how literally I took astrology but I did think it was mystic and cool. Probably the weirdest belief I entertained was “pyramid power”, that a properly proportioned and aligned pyramid had paranormal effects.
I believed in all of those things too, along with the Bermuda Triangle, ley lines, the Hieronymus machine, the Loch Ness monster, probably others I’m not remembering. Basically I’d accept anything that could be used as the plot of a science fiction story. I was quite disappointed when the pyramid I built didn’t seem to do anything.
I had a friend (quite the Lothario) who had one suspended over his bed. He conceded that it didn’t seem to do much good.
Sigh. Alright, I withheld this even though it might be a thread winner.
Because my maternal grandparents divorced and remarried and then had more children each I had some aunts and uncles that were only 5 years older than I.
Once when I was in 3rd grade I found my uncles 8th grade health class homework sitting on my grandmother’s kitchen table. I read it with the comprehension of a third grader. Plus remember, this was the 1960’s. There was no cable TV, no internet, and my pop didn’t read nudie books. My knowledge of sex was zero.
For whatever reason I came away with the belief that sperm was inside the woman, inside some kind of sack, and the mans penis perforated that sack which is how the sperm got away and swam to the woman’s eggs. HTF I came to that weird conclusion is beyond me. But I held that belief until the 6th grade when some buddies broke the 11th commandment (Never wise up a dummy) and set me straight.
From a strongly Catholic upbringing, my grandmother would call me, in order, via her 5 sons and two grandchildren in order of birth:
James
Stephan
Maurice
Francis
Andrew
Then, grandchildren…
Michael
Anthony (my name)
She was a very sweet old lady, but she had to put in a lot of effort to discipline myself and my brother.
(And that is just the males, she had three daughters, for a total of 18 grandchildren)
I thought the songs on the radio were performed by the groups going around to the different radio stations. I was disappointed when my dad told me the stations just played the records. I guess I was five when he told me that.
Did radio stations play “off the shelf” records like everyone else bought, or was there such a thing as a professional-grade platter?
Oftentimes radio stations would be serviced by record companies with the song to be plugged on both sides, one side in mono and other side in stereo. They may also get a promo single in a better quality vinyl that wouldn’t wear out as fast or easily get a “cue burn,” which would happen after a few dozen times of back-cuing a song a quarter-turn to start immediately when you hit the start button on the turntable.
Columbia, for example, turned out incredibly cheap 45s that would cue burn after five or six times. Motown was only slightly better. Atlantic/Atco and Capitol singles were usually really good by comparison.
When I was a kid I thought every record radio stations played were the only ones they got, and they were all hits. Later on I found out there were a whole lot more stiffs than hits.
This surprises me. Berry Gordy was always known for his quality control and the best possible representation of his acts/products. OTOH, he also was known to be a cheapskate. I would have thought that he had provided the radio stations with the best possible material.
Ha, I totally thought this too. Doesn’t help that I’m a longtime NY Jets fan
I had a similar belief – my parents taught me that pregnancy was the result of the father’s sperm combining with the mother’s egg. But they left out the part about how the sperm got from the man to the woman. So I too concluded that sperm must be airborne. I pictured them sort of like pollen.
And based on that, I extrapolated that the reason couples had children after they got married was because living in the same house as your wife and sleeping in the same bed increased the probability that your sperm would reach her. And unplanned pregnancies were the result of one of your sperm accidentally landing on the wrong woman. And that, I concluded, was the reason women joining the workforce was a controversial idea. If you have women working in a male dominated office, they might accidentally get pregnant with all those sperm floating around!
Well yeah, just not “floating around” in the same sense as you thought. 
I recall when I was a kid coming across the factoid that Italy had had 30+ governments since the end of WWII (many more by now of course). Thing is, I didn’t know that other countries use “government” for what we in the US call an “Administration”, so I had the impression that Italy was some incredible hellscape where every year or two there was a massive civil war that resulted in everyone in the government from the leadership down to clerks and cops forced out of power or killed then replaced. Over and over and over.
I pretty much imagined it as a depopulated Fallout-ish region with scattered survivors in the ruins.