I made my very first post today. I found out about The Straight Dope only yesterday evening. So I’m very new to this. My first post was very boring, a simple test to make sure I could get my password to work.
My first post was, “Does size really matter?”
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
My first post was a question about Comet Water, but under a different name. Later that day I figured this name would be cooler, so I changed it. I have no idea what the first one with this name was though.
This is the most exciting thing I’ve seen since Halley’s Comet collided with the moon.
Actually, my first post was in the thread that you started, Satan (same as Yue Han):
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001191.html
And now I waste way too much time here. I have nobody to blame but you. Happy now?
…ebius sig. This is a moebius sig. This is a mo…
(sig line courtesy of WallyM7)
I registered in October. My first post was really stupid, it was about Sealemon and his attraction to goats. I even put it in the wrong forum. I put it in the pit and it was moved to MPSIMS almost immediately. CanadianSue got a real good laugh at me on that one. After that I lurked for a while until I got the hang of things.
** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
My first post was a really boring comment on Why do circles have 400 gradians? that just about killed the thread. I had lurked for quite a while, and figured that I’d keep it straightforward and factual when I first posted. (I’m not sure that I’ve strayed that all that far from that standard to date.)
You don’t have a thing to worry about. I’ll have the jury eating out of my hand. Meanwhile, try to escape.
Sig by Wally M7, master signature architect to the SDMB
Oh, golly…well, my first post was actually the start of a thread. In GQ. Called “Getting to First Base.”. :eek: I thought the first one was a thread on “Photic Sneeze Reflex”, but apparently I had much more important things on my mind.
My apologies to you all…
My classes are optional. So is graduating.
(Get your Sig by Wally today!)
I’m not quite sure, but I think this question about Bo and Luke Duke’s “General Lee” was my first post. http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/002978.html
When I first found out about this message board, I took no time to acclimatize, but in retrospect, I really don’t think my first post was all that bad. I didn’t get flamed which was definitely a plus. The only criticism I may have for myself is that I put it in GQ and not MPSIMS. Oh well, live and learn.
By the way Satan, great idea for a topic. I’ve often thought of starting this one so I’m glad someone did.
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000096.html
It was in About This Message Board, about acronyms.
If anything, I’ve become even more mundane and pointless since!
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
My first post was on the old AOL board over two years ago–I believe it was around February 1998. Anyhoo, it was in the General Questions forum. I chose to write the question in cheesy “Cawfee Tawk” style:
“Topic: Grapenuts are neither grapes nor nuts. Discuss.”
And of course, the answer was in the archives. I was directed to Cecil’s article there and was actually quite embarrassed that I’d made such an error in SD Netiquette (thankfully, I wasn’t flamed for it). I spent days researching and reading the archives to make sure I didn’t repeat my mistake.
My first post here? I’m not sure. I do know that “Oral Sex Techniques” was one of the first, over a year ago.
Teaching: The ultimate birth control method.
I wish I could remember. But I don’t know how to look up osts by my old username of vanillanice. Nyone?
You don’t want to know.
But I’ll give ya some hints:
It was July or August of last year.
The thread was deleted. Then the poster started another thread with a similar theme (which is probably still out there).
The poster starting the thread coincidentally had the name of a former porn queen, and no longer posts here.
Anyway, my first post was was a comic response, which I’ll repeat here:
“Hell, it’s the ONLY kind of sex a lot of us married folks get. . . . Oh, sorry, I misread. I thought it said “annual” sex.”
My first post was the highly successful and well marketed “Who’s Who at MPSIMS?” thread. Yes, thats right :: :polishes nails on shirt::: My first post got almost 200 replies and is still alive…
NOTE: You can send all donations, homage payments, and fan club dues to my friend and business manager, Esprix- AKA The Gay Guy
-SS 
Lazy bastards always make it easier for the lazier bastards to get special treatment for being useless…how else do you explain American law?
It was in the infamous French Toast toppings thread, where I believe I was the second person in the history of the world to use the phrase “cross-section of a dachshund”.
Who was the first person to say this? (cue Jeopardy! music)
First post:
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/006755.html
followed by:
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006293.html
Oh well…live and learn.
Here’s my first (and only) thread:
It died a quick death after a few smart-ass answers.
I’m still trying to come up with a worthy topic. :mad:
The SDMB Smoke-Out Continues
Delta-9 Stats
4 Days, 11 hours, 51 minutes and 54 seconds
89 cigarettes not smoked, saving me $17.98
Life Saved: 7 hours, 25 minutes
It seems to me that it was one in General Questions - and had to do with the lyrics to the song “I Come from The Land Down Under”. It was either that one, or the one I believe SqrlCub started about a metal box that was in the wall of his apartment (or a friend’s apt.) and everyone was trying to figure out what it was.
Ok, THAT made sense. Sorry.
Falling In Love: http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004165.html
and still getting the hang of it 
It’s too bad Milo had to stick his shoe in it, that was a great thread.
When he was ready, it was already far too late, to go back.
There will never be another.
He is lost to me, as surely as if he had died.
Standing alone, I stare into the flames trying
to remember what went wrong.
My first post came on July 8, 1999, the day after I registered. It was on one of the Book threads…I recommended Huysmans’ A REBOURS and Lao-Tse’s WAY OF TAO.
My second post, later the same day, concerned methods of cooking pork chops.
Uke
It was a post on Comments on Cecil’s Columns thread about Witches and Brooms. I think. I’m pretty sure. I think my second was about photic sneezing. That was a long time ago. I’ve slept since then.