And there was a suggestion in that thread as to why it happens to some people and not others:
The preference may have been carried over from vBulletin, where I think I deliberately opted not to display whether I was online but you could still see past posts and threads.
So depending on a person’s profile preferences in vBulletin, it may have tried to reproduce those by hiding a person’s profile here on Discourse.
There are a few posters that push my buttons so much that interacting with them gets me to the point where I am tempted to violate board rules. I put them on ignore and it has made my time here so much easier.
Years ago, I spent two weeks at a Buddhist Monastery, where I sought to learn “to be as contented in a hovel as I am in a palace.”
I mentioned to one of the monastics that – in my experience – Buddhist Monasteries tended to be located pretty much exclusively in sylvan, serene, tranquil, and absolutely beautiful settings.
What gives?
“Well,” said the monastic with a glint of a smile in his eyes, “That doesn’t hurt.”
I responded tersely and crankily yesterday, but I wanna give you a better answer.
Analogies and hypotheticals can certainly be useful tools. But they are not always useful, and they are not the only tools. In other words, they are neither necessary nor sufficient tools for avoiding capriciousness nor breaking people out of dishonest viewpoints.
Many years ago I read a metaphor about metaphors (a metametaphor?): They’re like shining light on an object in a dim room. Sure, they help you see one facet of the situation more clearly; but they also cast shadows on the rest of the object. Use them judiciously but cautiously, recognizing their pitfalls.
The analogies and hypotheticals you choose are very often shadowcasters that obfuscate more than they illuminate. I encourage you to be much more cautious in your use of them, and to examine them for flaws before you post them. Are there important aspects of the situation that are obscured or misrepresented in your analogy? Will people be so distracted by these aspects that your larger point will be lost? If so, kiss the metaphor on the forehead and then drown it in the bathtub: it’ll do nobody any good.
And if the image of that last metaphor was so appalling that you’re like WTF LHOD, well, exactly.
Your explanation was perfectly understandable the first time. I don’t see how anyone could fail to understand it unless they wanted to “misinterpret” it.
Unpossible. The Wise Mouse believes logic is king and truth is truth. There’s no possible way they would “misinterpret” something to make their argument less fucking disgusting.
Yeah, girls and women know what it’s like when men have sexual intentions toward them. I don’t know why this whole “misunderstanding” mantra is so deeply embedded in rape culture, but I heard it all the time when I was sexually abused by my stepfather/adoptive father. “Are you sure it wasn’t just a misunderstanding?” Even from a guy I was dating. I’m complaining to him, “My mother keeps saying it was just a misunderstanding.” Guy I’m dating… “I mean, was it?”
No it wasn’t, motherfuckers. I still to this day have to question myself and go through it all over again just to remind myself no, my perceptions about this were accurate and real. I have to fit the pieces together until I’ve got a solid “case” based on the testimony of other people because I’ve been gaslit so many fucking times. I have been in therapy twenty fucking years because of a misunderstanding. Yeah, that tracks.
It’s painfully, uncomfortably obvious when a man has sexual intentions toward you. Many women acquire that radar at least when they hit puberty. I acquired it probably around age seven, though I wouldn’t have been able to name it. That is the society in which we live.
Skip the condescension toward women and just say what you really think. Either, “She’s lying,” or “I choose to believe she’s confused because I don’t enjoy the cognitive dissonance that comes with supporting a probable attempted rapist.”
But she misunderstood? Come the fuck on.
I can’t believe this stupid fucking triggering as hell Kavanaugh bullshit is back in the public eye. Jesus fucking Christ.
That’s all I’m going to say about that. But thanks for harshing my vibe, @Sage_Rat