Mine would be…
No One Really Knew Annie
D’uh, yes, that’s my “real name.”
“I Can’t Take You Anywhere!”; The Story of an American Cripple 
Where Is She Now?
Underpants.
Should 've Listened to Mother
I saw this title somewhere and I’d think it would be cute (although grossly incorrect).
Okay, What Did I Miss While I Was Gone?
That’s been my dream title since the eighth grade. I miss a lot of obvious and/or important things, you see - punchlines, Star Trek, this year’s yearbook photo shoot, and so on.
“The Biography of Osiris”
Boring huh?
Emperor Ranchoth I: Conquerer, Genius, Madman.
Oh? What the biography WILL be titled, not what I WANT it to be titled? Then…
Ranchoth: He still owed me a little money, but he was a nice guy, so I let it slide
Ranchoth
From Loser to Never-was
or
Hung Like a Horse: A Novel
Mundane Pointless Stuff
A Life of Loud, Angry Desperation, perhaps subtitled ‘A Counter-Example in Three Parts, Not for Perusal by Ladies or Children’
The Uninteresting Life of A Homeless Man
Cranky As An Old Man: The Life and Times of a Cantankerous Hag.
Subtitled “Keep this book with your camping gear; you can always use the pages for kindling.”
Comes with a free book of matches.
Sex, Beer, Drugs, Beer, Rock&Roll, Beer, Cars, and Beer. Oh yeah, and Eat, Sleep, and Shit. 
See sig. [sub](That could be the title, too, for that matter…)[/sub]
Chasing Faith and Ducking God
Don’t Do It Again!: The Rise and Fall of a Major Annoyance
“Turn Down the Radio, We’re At An Intersection”
Possible the wisest, and most assinine, thing I’ve ever uttered. This bit of wisdom has spread so far and wide among my friends, and my friiends’ friends, that Iwas once introduced to someone who went to graduate school with a friend’s room mate and they said, “Hey, aren’t you the guy who told Lilly to turn down the radio because you were at an intersection? What in the hell was all that about?” My wisdom had proceeded me.
“On the Run from BMG”