OK, take a well-known movie, and say how it could have all been done in 5 minutes or less.
Please use spoiler tags if appropriate!
I’ll start with a couple, the first from a friend:
Signs:
Aliens planning invasion search for “earth” in Google. Aliens discover, uh-oh, 2/3 covered in that stuff that kills us. Aliens think better of it, stay home.
Phone Booth:
Guy picks up phone. Sniper says, “Don’t leave the phone booth or I’ll kill you!” Guy says, “screw you!”, hangs up phone. Sniper accidentally hits “Windows” key, massive Windows desktop appears on cinema screen.
(Camera pans up through the fog to the gates of Xanadu, Charles Foster Kane’s palatial California estate. Up and over the fence and up to the immense house. In through a window and over to the bed, on which a covered figure lies dying. He has a snowglobe in his hand. In a moment, he will speak his last words and the snowglobe will fall from his now-lifeless hands, roll across the bed, and fall to the floor, smashing to bits.
The Professional
Directed by Luc Besson
1994
Ultra-Condensed by Stephen Keller
Natalie Portman: Teach me how to kill people.
Jean Reno: No. I am far too busy brooding for that.
Natalie Portman: Please?
Jean Reno: Natalie Portman, you have taught me how to care.
THE END
Return of the Jedi
Directed by Richard Marquand
1983
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard
Darth Vader: Luke, come to the dark side.
Luke: No.
Darth Vader: Your goodness has redeemed me. Die, emperor scum.
THE END
Speed
Directed by Jan de Bont
1994
Ultra-Condensed by Liron Caspi
Dennis Hopper: I will blow up the elevator.
Keanu Reeves: Oh no. Not the elevator. (saves elevator)
Dennis Hopper: I will blow up the bus.
Keanu Reeves: Oh no. Not the bus. (saves bus)
Dennis Hopper: I will blow up the subway.
Keanu Reeves: Oh no. Not the subway. (saves subway)
THE END