I think I should point out that I’m not talking about actual occurrences of suicide. I’m speaking more along the lines of “If I were going to commit suicide, and I wanted people to be talking about it for years, how would I do it?”
Suicide isn’t funny. But I’m sure we can all think of circumstances under which it would be funny.
I realized a long time ago (when I was suicidal) that my only reason to continue living was to find some humor in this utterly ridiculous existence.
There’s humor to be found, no matter where you look. Of course, “when” can kind of screw things up. For instance, people make jokes about Lincoln’s assassination all the time. And they’re pretty funny. But it would be a lot different if he’d just died yesterday.
Write a letter to your lawyer, with instructions that in NOT be opened until one year after your death. Insist that after the one year, it be read in a very public manner.
Get a job in a sausage factory. Take off your clothes and throw yourself into the biggest meat grinder you can find.
punchline The letter explains what you did, and people wonder about that hot dog they ate.
I don’t find suicide at all humorous, and the worst thing about it is that a person has a life that is so miserable that they would even contemplate ending it.
Having said that, however, I would like to suggest one of my favorite movies. “The End” with Burt Reynolds and Dom deLuise is hysterical. Sally Field is in it too. This guy finds out that he has a terminal illness, and can’t face it. So he decides to kill himself, but can’t face that either. So he hires Dom to kill him. Dom is completely inept, blah blah blah. Then, Burt finds out that he does not have a terminal illness, and…well, I loved that movie.
Of course, I do have a somewhat dry sense of humour.
[nitpick]
I don’t think that’s possible. The botulism bacteria wouldn’t live in something as acidic as Coke.[/nitpick]
I think throwing yourself in front of a miniature car stuffed with clowns and getting run over would be a funny way to commit suicide.
I normally wouldn’t find a subject like suicide funny, but does anybody remember the movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray? In the movie, he is “stuck” repeating the same day over and over and over again. He gets tired of constantly repeating the same day, so he comes up with some pretty ingenious ways to kill himself. Of course, he just keeps on coming back and is still stuck in the same day.
Yeah, this thread is in pretty bad taste. But I don’t let little things like thatstop me.
Go to Texas and wait for a Sunday, then attend a Southern Baptist church service. Wait for a mention of Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, then stand up and yell:
**HEY, Y’ALL KNOW JESUS WAS SCREWIN’THOSE 'POSTLES, RIGHT?
Shadowfox: I feel the same way about Groundhog day. I thought his repeated suicides were pretty funny, and that’s saying a lot coming from someone who lost his father that way.
Maybe a general Funny Ways To Die would have been better. I’m not flaming anyone, just making a gentle comment.
Tragedy + enough time = ability to only cry a little bit if you were there when it happened. And the ability to see some irony or something.
Maybe this thread should have been titled “ironic ways to die/commit suicide”. Death is, to those who experience it or are close to the person, not often a funny thing.
Having come close before, Freak, even considering suicide is not a good thing. I know your intentions . . . sometimes these threads are bound to invite people with negative comments.
Sorry but I have to respond here. I have been a paramedic for over 20 years, I have worked many suicides, some of them were friends and co-workers. I nor the people involved find anything funny about it. For those out there in the field, we do use and say humorous things to enable us to maintain our sanity but rarely in suicides. Try to find something funny about a 15 year old child who has nothing left to live for and blows his brains out or a father of two young children who hangs himself on his 35 birthday. There are enough other people out there doing stupid things that wind up hurting themselves for us to find humorous, we need to offer our help and support to those involved, not our laughter.
This is along the lines of “ironic ways to die/commit suicide”.
A guy I knew up in Montana went by the name Mountain Man Jim. He had the whole schtick: old-timey clothes, braided hair, six-shooters (:eek:), the hat, and the whole nine yards. He’d tell anyone who’d listen all these macho mountain man stories. This is all fine and good, except the from what I saw he rarely left the bar. He lived in an upstairs apartment, and went downstairs around 9 or 10 every evening. He dated some odd women, but we never really thought anything of it.
One Saturday eve. he did not show up downstairs, and the owner got to wondering because Jim had made a point of saying he would do something or other when he came down.
So she went upstairs to knock on his door and then opened it when she got no answer. There was Mountain Man Jim, in a skirt, with clothespins on his nipples and makeup on his face. He was holding his “member” in one hand. He had a belt around his throat and it was hooked to a nail or something on the wall that apparently Jim could not reach. So he had stood on a small box to reach the desired nail or hook and after he had ummm ‘gotten started’ the box broke and Jim fell thru. Apparently he was into that auto-asphixiation (sp) or whatever it’s called. (I’m sure Handy has his sexual dictionary around somewhere)
:eek:
I remember attending a photo art gallery in Houston, Texas about 6 years that exhibited the works of a photo-artist implying the above scenario. The artist photographed himself in simple Rube Goldberg-esque types of contraptions that if he triggered himself, he would commit suicide. It didn’t depict actual suicide (else he wouln’t have been able to photograph himself in the numerous contraptions), just the implication of it. Very good and very funny (in a twisted sort of way).
Suicide is not funny. When a person is that depressed, it isn’t funny. This is one of the few subjects I don’t find funny, and I find humor in a lot of shit people find offensive/disturbing.
well last h’ween a guy i had a crush on for two and a half years was killed in an on-track collision (he was a race car driver; i’d never met him, only admired him from afar, but i was 14 when i first saw him and never lost that teenybopper crush. anyway). the day after he was killed, I was sitting in study hall and three guys in class were reading the newspaper. when they got to the sports section, greg’s death was on the front page:
Guy #1: Dude, that crash killed the driver. respectful pause Guy #2: Well, where’d he finish? Guy #3: Dead last!! all laugh i ask to leave room, go find best friend who also had crush on him, tell her all, cry in bathroom with her
Cut to now, ten months later. I can now see the humor in it. I don’t think it’s FUNNY, because of my emotional involvement in that death… but then, I can see how it COULD be funny. After all, I made plenty of dead-last/etc jokes after a driver I didn’t like was killed. So I guess I agree with the statement above, partially. If tragedy = time isn’t exactly comedy, at least it starts to be something not quite AS tragic, once distance puts it into some perspective.
Suicide isn’t funny most of the time, but then again, in the case of darwin-award cases, since you’re distant from them you can laugh.
Incidentally, I was severely depressed last fall and after Greg’s death I just got worse… I almost killed myself but then I realized my best friend would feel even worse if I killed myself than she already did about Greg, so I didn’t. And now I’m almost cheerful on a day to day basis! Go figure.
Who doesn’t? However, since there were only four people involved, and the most trustworthy of the four, Grand Duke Dmitry refused to talk, no one knows what REALLY happened…
Besides, Yussoupov was known for being a drama queen…
