What would be your last request to Medusa?

It’s the ancient world. You have been purchased off the slaver’s auction block by Medusa herself. She’s going to make you a statue. Some of her other slaves bathe and groom you and then take you to her. She’s wearing special glasses and will remove them when she petrifies you. There’s a plinth in the middle of an otherwise bare room on which she commands you to stand. There’s no escape but Medusa is not unkind. Before she has you pose, she will hear a modest last request from you. Sex is not on, nor is anything involving mirrors. If you anger or try to hurt her, her hair-snakes will bite you and you will suffer a prolonged and agonizing death.

What would be your last request?

Let me keep my clothes on. I don’t wanna be a nude statue.

A visit from St. Patrick.

I really need a mirror. You know, for my um… hair. Yeah, that’s why I need a mirror.

I would like a partnership, so my heirs can enjoy the royalties from the Medusa brand cement, a product of Sandusky Portland Cement Company, ticker symbol MSA.

I would like to do my best Indiana Jones impression.

“Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?”

I wouldn’t say no to a good meal.

You’re a slave; you have no clothes save at the whim of your owner.

You’re hundreds of years too early.

Excluded in the OP.

You still get petrified.

You don’t get the opportunity to say no; she doesn’t want her statue looking fat.

I would like to gaze upon your unclothed body, so that when you remove your glasses the joy in my transformed face will show a reflection of your true beauty.

After you’ve petrified me, can you get a sculptor to come in with hammer and chisel, and modify my statue so that it’s worth anybody looking at?

If I’m gonna be a statue, can you give me a few weeks to work on my abs and pecs?

Yeah, but it’s not like anything else is going to help me. Even if she kills me painfully for making the attempt, at least I will have screwed up her statue.

Good one.

I’d like a month or two to kill all the pigeons on the island first?

On the off chance that I’ll still have some kind of feeling after the transformation, I’d request I be allowed to pose as a sitting statue.

“Will you look at that? I’m already turning to stone.”

Is that an Oglaf reference? I assume it is, but in case it isn’t, here’s a (NSFW) comic along the same lines:

To the OP, I would ask to be allowed to get drunk first.

Never heard of Oglafs.
I don’t remember where I found the joke or when.

I’d forgotten about Oglaf. Always good for a laugh.

YAFGC?