We’d spend a whole lot of time up late at night in the kitchen making models for demonstration of food sciencey things. I’d be a bit nervous that maybe he wasn’t really healed from his recent divorce, and our very different religions might be a bit of an issue. But food…we’d have food in common.
If I dated my celebrity crush I would encourage him to cut down on the booze, dress a little neater and choose better film roles that do not involve pirates or Tim Burton. Yeah, he would hate me.
I’m thinking that I’d have to keep my head on a swivel to keep my wife and/or Joe Mangianello from trying to murder me, if I actually dated my celebrity crush.
It would end badly. I couldn’t and wouldn’t put up with the paparazzi.
Arrested.
Probably a lot of people would call me fat on Twitter. (I am not that fat.)
It would be great because I’d know exactly how it’d go.
She’d ask herself, “Why am I dating a guy who’s 24 years older than me, and I’m so hot while he’s so not?” And me, I might be able to speak, but maybe not. If I could, I would blurt out, “Please step back a little so I can just look at you.”
Live and Let Die was filmed in 1972.
…Johnny Depp?
He’d likely cheat on me, and I foresee the whole thing ending quite badly. He seems the wandering type. And our politics don’t much overlap.
I’m sure we’d have beautiful, emotionally damaged children in the mean time, though.
It wouldn’t last and people would disect every song on her next album trying to figure out why.
We would live happily ever after.
My wife would probably kill me. She’s understanding but not that understanding.
We would merrily tour the comicons and occasional shoot locations. I would be one of the most envied men in science fiction fandom.
Aw. Someone is a Swiftie.
I can’t stand her music. Except for the song with the goat–that’s a good one.
I’m just a sucker for taller women.
She would be delighted by my wit, and confused by how someone so enchanting could’ve been single for so long. And then, just when things are going really well, something will click in her head and she’d find some excuse to leave and never return my calls.
You people are so negative! If I dated my celebrity crush, I would be charming, witty and intellectually dazzling. She would discover she has a thing for overweight, balding men. My wife would realize that my crush and I have a connection so rare and beautiful that she would voluntarily step aside for my happiness.
Hey, there’s as much chance of that happening as my getting a date in the first place!
While you’re at it, would you mind scolding him for this zombie-like performance in his and his wife’s “apology” for flouting Australian quarantine laws? Seriously, that’s the worst. They speak as if they were either broken down by torture, pumped full of tranquilizers, or are secretly furious at being forced to participate in what they regard as a moronic charade. I’m betting it’s the last one. But whatever is going on, I don’t detect even the slightest hint of sincerity from either Depp or his wife.
The Internet would BLOW UP about how wonderful and non-judgemental he must be to date a fat girl with crazy hair from Ohio. He’s not really a “thing” on The Internet right now but boy howdy, will he ever be! Watch out, Gossling!