What would happen if you dated your celebrity crush?

To make this thread more entertaining, don’t tell us *who *your celebrity crush is. Just tell us what would happen if you dated him or her.

If I dated my celebrity crush, I think she would ask herself, “Why am I dating a man who doesn’t even speak my language?” Then she’d break up with me.

If I dated my celebrity crush, he’d wonder why he’s dating a man, when he’s married to a beautiful woman, 44 years his junior.

My celebrity crush died earlier this year. I have not yet found a new one.

If I had dated him while he was alive, I’m sure he would have been very happy to be dating a pretty redhead 20+ years his junior. His wife might not have appreciated it.

Oh wow, Oh man the performance anxiety, its a good thing she reportedly has a well developed sense of humor.

but hopefully she doesn’t laugh at me too much

He would spend the whole time talking about his wife, since he has a strong tendency to bring her up whenever anyone starts flirting with him, just to make it clear where his loyalties lie. But I do think we have a lot in common, and could have some fascinating conversations, if only on a platonic friendship basis.

I’d either get caught up in idol worship or learn to like him as a person like I try to do for anyone I admire but end up befriending/dating, with varying levels of success. Maybe we’d post weird, abstract things on Twitter and Facebook together. Luckily he seems to be just as quirky IRL as his character on a TV show, but not sad and almost certainly not as unrealistically smart.

Jason Derulo would like a word with you. :stuck_out_tongue:

Which one? There are so many to choose from.

We’d have a perfectly delightful time! We’re both sufficiently graceful and adept at etiquette to have a charming dinner conversation, ranging in subjects over any number of interesting topics.

It isn’t totally beyond the range of the possible!

I’d be very quickly annoyed by the fact that I don’t like her at all for herself. It’s the character she plays that I was crushing on. And she’s nothing like the character in real life. Quite the opposite. A “free spirit” into every kind of woo.

She’d undoubtedly ask me who the woman was that was smacking me about the head and shoulders, and I’d explain it was Mrs. Bricker. The date would end badly.

I’d short-arm the check.

So, last night I dreamed I was married to Matt Damon. I’m male, straight, and (happily) married already. Nevertheless, my in-dream reaction (while still well aware of all these facts) was :“Fuck yeah, I’ve done well here”.

I think we could get along at first, but then she’s realize I don’t have enough tattoos and am not a rock legend like her last two husbands, so she’d leave me for someone more exciting.

At least we’re the same age.

Get your filthy paws off my celebrity crush! …er I think. My crush died early this year too, but i don’t think he’d be into me, since his wife looks nothing like me and he seemed to have be deeply in love with her.

Although, I wouldn’t have said no to a secret quickie.

Still mourning the loss of my long time crush. :frowning:

Odds are that shortly after meeting me her phone would ring and it something very important came up that she’ll have to attend to and promise that if I call her we’ll go out again, but her phone number won’t work anymore.

Yeah, mine is significantly older and totally in love with his spouse of 40+ years, so there might be a mild flirtation and that’s it. Plus, no matter how much I adore him, I think the fact that he’s constantly “on” and always injecting himself and his never-ending (self-glorification) stories into things, would be a source of irritation anyway. However, from afar, it can be endearing and keeps him in the news.

I expect I’d make such an effort not to be an idiotic gushing fan that I’d end up being kinda stiff and awkward, but he’d be polite and try to make chit-chat to hurry the evening to its conclusion. Then he’d go home and I’d spend the rest of the night coming up with witty banter that I should have used.

Either that, or he’d fall madly in love with me but I would be strong and point out that we have marriages and families to consider, and I’d leave him with a kiss on the cheek and a wistful smile thinking of what might have been.

Yeah, one or the other of those.


I have no idea what would happen on the first date but, since my wife would chop off my pecker shortly thereafter, options for subsequent dates would be somewhat more limited.

Considering we’re both retired athletes over 40, if we could evade his spouse, our date would likely consist of a lot of mutual application of lineament, ace bandaging of damaged joints, or soaking in an ice bath, and moaning and groaning of a non-sexual nature. Ain’t old age grand?

I don’t really have a celebrity crush anymore. For a long time it was Elisha Cuthbert, until I discovered she was only into hockey players. For some reason that ruined it for me. At some point it was Aaliyah, but her being dead took the rose off the romance. Then it was (briefly) the entire female cast of John Tucker Must Die. Not going to lie: I love that movie.

I still have a crush on Jane Seymour, but my crush is on Ms. Seymour circa 1980 (see Live and Let Die) rather than in her current state (though she is still rather a looker).

This, only presumably it would not be Mrs. Bricker doing the smacking.