Me? Mine at the moment is Gwen Stephani of No Doubt fame. sigh She is in my top five along with Cameron Diaz, Renee Zellweger, Winona Ryder and Charlize Theron.
My current plan to win Gwen is to by happenstance live close to her and become someone she see’s on chance every day… just due to the circumstances of course. Gradually getting to know her and mentioning after she says where her fame is from, “oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of your band!” By then we are pretty close friends and she gradually realizes what a great person/confidant/potential lover/husband and father of future children I am. After we’re ingaged… THATS when I make my move. Just call me Ricco Suave… or whatever that mexican phrase is.
My celebrity crush is Drew Barrymore.
My plan to win her over? Well, I figure she is a fellow doper and will be won over by this post, email me, and from there we’ll live happily ever after.
Mine would be Kirsten Dunst followed by an almost too close to call second place Julia Stiles. But back to the matter at hand (I hope my girlfriend doesn’t read this post) I’d confess my wanting to do certain things with her and let her know she’d have the time of her life Seriously though I’d probably pass out if she ever talked to me.
Well, Russell Crowe was my crush but since some idiots already tried to kidnap him, security is too tight for me to make any moves for quite a long time.
My other crush is Kate Winslet. I cannot reveal my techniques (people may be watching) but rest assured, she will soon leave her husband and she and I will run off together and raise her little girl, Mia, as our own.
Christina Aguilera. I’m gathering up testimonial letters from all of my previous sex partners. I’ll slip them uder her dressing room door, as soon as I start my own boy band (“Charm City?”) and snag a spot as the opening act on her tour.
This may be a slight hijack, but it fits.
When I was younger I had a huge crush on Sean Ysault, the bass player from the band White Zombie. I saw the band a bunch of times and met all the other members, even got to tell Rob Zombie where he should get dinner.
So anyway, my wife (girlfriend at the time) dissapears during one of the shows, and when I find her, she is hanging out with Sean. Not just hanging out, but managed to get tickets to the next nights show, and was trying to convince her to come home with us! In my infinate coolness, when introduced to Sean, I actually got tounge tied. I mean I just couldn’t talk. Things quickly went down hill from there. Sean got on the bus, we had no money to get to the next nights show, and White Zombie broke up a year or so later.
Yep, I was there, celebrity crush within reach and I blew it hardcore.
Ok, it was a bigger hijack than i meant it to be. Sorry.
Emma Samms. She’s now mainly involved with her charitable organization, the Starlight Foundation. I’m working in a major cancer care clinic – I’m sure she’ll visit some day.
Once we meet, she’ll realize her mistake, drop the rich husband, and it’s Happily Ever After time. After I drop Mrs. danalan.
Yes, Mrs. danalan knows about my plan. She pretends not to be concerned, but I’m sure she’s just covering up her concern with all that laughter.
Sorry blur, bt Ms. Barrymore is already spoken for. She’s devoted body and soul (but mostly body) to me… she just doesn’t know it yet…
I go in next week for my next painful series of operations to make myself look more like Tom Green.
Until then, I will bide my time with Christina Ricci and Allyson Hannigan, who are waiting at home for me… sigh
Oh no, Bethie, we’ve been over this before and Russell is still mine! I’ve got the emails to prove it.* Yeah, sure he dumped me, but that was because of an evil interloper who told him I was nuts. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before he wakes up and realizes that we were meant for each other.
As for what I’m doing to woo him? Just sittin’ around being my adorable taterself. That’ll work, right?
*[sub]I really do, so stop looking at me that way![/sub]
tater, tater, tater. I, too, have e-mails from Russell Crowe* thanking me for alerting him to your devious, nefarious nature and asking what he could possibly do to repay me for saving him from an evil schemer such as yourself. Surrender the fantasy–it’s over! Russ belongs to another!
Seriously though I’d probably pass out if she ever talked to me.