I’ve been there. It’s Alligator Alley between Naples and Miami. Construction is going on so there’s only one lane open in either direction. The air conditioner in your rental car is broken. And you’re behind someone with their turn signal blinking the whole way. The only differtence is that in Hell, the drive would never end!
oh yeah … an alternate Hell.
Being implanted with a small microchip that makes the victim involuntarily perform the Hamsterdance at irregular intervals.
Are you sure that some of you aren’t in Heck by accident?
I’m not sure on the other details, but there has to be a ringing telephone. Always. At all points there will be a telephone ringing.
My hell:
Bees. Lots of bees. Swarming around me constantly.
My only source of hydration would be Dr. Pepper.
My only source of nourishment would be liver and mushrooms.
There would be screaming children - 24 hours a day.
There would be cel phones ringing - but never answered.
The background music would be a constant loop of Beach Boys “Kokomo”, “Don’t Worry Be Happy” and the “Macarena”.
And I’d be forced to give pedicures to people with REALLY weathered feet.
:: shiver ::
O! What force of darkness hath sent me Hades? The Inferno by Dante even explains that the 9th circle of Hell itself is a frozen pond. . .
Therefore, I’d say that I’m in the 9th circle now, being Minot, North Dakota. And true hell would be forced to stay here another 3 years. . .
Tripler
O, the horror. . .
Perry Ferrel, Geddy Lee, and Michael Stipe singing a capella to me nonstop for all of eternity.
Hell for me would be a giant bookstore filled with nothing but Harlequin romance novels and cheesy science fiction*****.
And being chased by clowns. And lots of spiders and snakes all over the place.
And only Barbra Streisand piped in on the radio.
Disclaimer:
***** With apologies to the many sci-fi loving dopers here. Sorry, it’s just not my cup of tea.
My current idea of hell would probably be knowing that I’d be alone forever, and that everything I do is meaningless to anyone, while everyone around lives normal happy lives. I’d suspect, but not quite know that it was hell, so I’d blame myself for my continual failure to accomplish anything or reach anyone. Oh, and there’d be wasps flying around, for good measure.
When I was young and just realising that I didn’t believe in Christianity, I had a dream of the fire-and-brimstone hell. The ground was burning coal, and the only way not to burn was to stand on writhing mats of worms which would slowly eat your flesh. In the dream, I ran around looking for a better place to stand, but didn’t find one, and fell over onto a mat of worms.
Mine would probably be a never ending flow of great story and book inspirations, but no paper, ink, computers or other way to write them.
My girlfriend’s is great: Being chased for all eternity by a peg legged, lazy-eyed, midget clown. She actively shuddered when telling me this.
Hell for me would be having to listen to one of my old girlfriends talk to me over the phone for the rest of eternity about what she did that day. It would be especially annoying since that would be her idea of heaven.
A Home Depot store on a Saturday afternoon. With a splitting sinus headache and constant sneezing from the sawdust. For ever and ever.
You’ve just described how I feel on my depressed days–except for the wasps flying around.
Mine would be a place where there are no universal laws, and therefore, all actions cause something completely random. I would have no control over my own actions, nor would I be able to make sense of anything that I would observe. Freaky.
That being said, I have long believed that any actual hell cannot be that bad, since I would have eternity to get used to it. I figure I can get used to pretty much anything after a long enough time, and then it wouldn’t be much of a bother anymore. You know, when given lemons, make lemonade.