Okay, the idea of this thread is for it to be fairly light hearted, so the answer to the title question is not “the place where the screaming never stops”.
Describe your idea of hell, what would make it the place you’d like to least spend eternity in? Pratchett did a good piece in Eric about how in hell the only books to read are murder mysteries and the last page where you find out who did it is always ripped out.
My nominations:
[ul]
[li]The only things to eat are raisins, asparagus, brussell sprouts and spam.[/li][li]There’s loads of porn but it’s all girl on girl action.[/li][li]57 TV channels of reality TV shows and re-runs of 60s and 70s British sit coms.[/li][li]I’m forced to go to church every day (ironic considering this is hell I know, but…)[/li][li]There’s an internet connection but it’s the slowest 28kbps modem you’ve ever used so one page of the dope takes about an hour to load (in the style of Tantalus)[/li][li]The only books are biographies of professional sports people.[/li][li]There are nightclubs and they all play disco music, 70s cheese and 400bpm techno music.[/li][li]Everyone speaks German.[/li][/ul]
Everywhere I look there are pictures of Miley Cyrus (I can’t help it. Her face bugs me).
All the music is by Foreigner and Celine Dion and it’s on a badly tuned radio.
Everyone is wearing heavy perfume.
Raisins in mint sauce.
I’m sharing a room with Fred Phelps.
There is strobe lighting.
A few years ago, I took an economics class at the local community college. One class, my professor launched into the exact same lecture he had given in the previous class, complete with the same jokes.
This went on for about ten minutes, before he realized he’d already told us all of this stuff.
Hell is…being forced to listen to the same economics lecture over and over again.
My Hell would have:
[ul]
[li]Daytime and Australian soap operas on TV all day[/li][li]Thrash Metal music everywhere[/li][li]Stupid, fundamentalist Christian, right-wing, politicians yabbering in my ear[/li][li]Vegetarian, or worse, Vegan food[/li][li]A constant throbbing deep bass doofdoof vibrating through my head[/li][/ul]
Whenever I’m trying to accomplish a nearly impossible task, let’s say for purpose of an example, open one of those damm srink wrap package, I tell myself, “I hope whoever invented this is condemm to do this for eternity”
