First, for those of you that haven’t seen House MD, a little background. Most episodes start with someone being brought into the hospital (often unconscious) they’re brought back to ‘stable’ and at some point it’s decided that whatever is wrong with them is so difficult to figure out that Dr House and his team should figure it out.
The short version is that they ask the patient a bunch of background questions (what were you doing? what meds are you on? who are you sleeping with? what drugs are you doing? etc) and then decide that they’re lying and break into the person’s house, ransack it and get the real answers to those questions, and maybe some more clues.
Ever since the show was on, I’ve always wondered what they’d find in my house…and what would send them down the wrong path.
1)Topamax. It’s an anti-seizure drug. If I was brought in unconscious and they found this med, they might think I had a seizure, but the meds are for migraines. Though, skipping a few doses can actually cause seizures even in a person that’s never had one, so they could actually be right about that.
2)Tampons and other products that might suggest that I either have a female living with me and/or I’m currently sexually active. Every once in a while I open a drawer and say ‘wow, can’t believe those tampons are still in there’. They’re from my ex-wife 5+ years ago. As far as the other stuff, lets just say I’m not currently sexually active, but certain things might point in the opposite direction. On the one hand, it would make Dr House think I’m a liar. OTOH, it would probably just make him order a STD test (or a pregnancy test if I was female).
3)Street Drugs. Honestly, they’ve been buried in a back corner of my basement for well over 10 years. I haven’t used them, more or less, since college. It’s some pot stems and an old pipe. Again, it would make him think I’m a liar, but in the world of House, he probably also assume I’m a crack/meth/heroin user since I ‘lied’ about that.
I’m sure I have plenty of other things that I bought, used once or twice and never looked at again that a doctor would say ‘this causes tumors if you take 15 at once on a regular basis, do a CT scan’. Of course, I also like to think a team of doctors won’t break into my house looking for clues or that I won’t pass out in a park for inexplicable reasons.
For example, I’m sure I have some herbal this or that, I know I have some magnesium supplements and ‘weight loss’/‘protein supplements’/meal replacement powders’ that I don’t use that, again, would make him wonder what else I’m ‘into’.
So, what do you have in your house that you don’t use and would send a doctor don’t the wrong path or you use for some ‘off label’ reason?