What would Molly Ivins say?

I wrote this last week for my own therapy and amusement. Then some friends decided to hold an Irish Wake for – well, it wasn’t clear. The Democratic Party, or the Country, or something. It was an excuse to get together and bitch. And drink. So I brought this along and read it. I thought I’d post it here, for your entertainment and thoughts.


I was a big fan of columnist liberal Molly Ivins’ observations on the political scene, and her realistic take on what our reactions ought to be in even the most trying circumstances. Ivins, after all, reported on not only the State of the Union, but on the State of Texas, where she lived and thrived. It could be argued that this was where she was most desperately needed, In a hotbed of right-wing and frequently reactionary politics, “our National Laboratory of Bad Government” as she called it.
I’ve frequently wondered what she would have to say about Donald J. Trump. She wrote about him, of course – he was a national figure since the 1980s – but Ivins died of Stage III Breast Cancer in 2007 at the comparatively young age of 62, and never saw his candidacy or first term. Considering how relentlessly Ivins skewered the inept presidency of George W. Bush (besides innumerable columns devoted to him, she co-authored two books about him), it’s a shame we were denied her insights into the Great Orange Catastrophe that was Trump. His multiple gaffes, grifts, and blunders would have provided ample grist for her mill.

Her wit would have carried us through the first Trump presidency, and triumphantly celebrated Biden’s victory. But Trump’s re-election to a term that threatens to have no guardrails in place, a Supreme Court determined to produce a Unitary Executive, a Republican majority in the Senate and a likely one in the House makes this a dark prospect for the future. And so, I have to wonder What Would Molly Say?

With your forgiveness for my presumption, and recognizing that this is but a pale shadow of what Might Have Been, I offer the following:


Well, I think it’s fair to say that last Tuesday’s election returns left plenty of folks whomper-jawed. We ought to have been prepared for the possibility – it’s been truly said that you shouldn’t underestimate the power of ignorance. And if all my years covering the Texas Lejj (Legislature) have taught me anything, it’s to assume that the worst can happen.
But Texas survived George W. Bush and Rick “Good Hair” Perry. We’ve lived through one term of Trump and we can weather another. Even with the deck stacked in his favor, we still have the structure of the U.S. Constitution and plenty of people working to back it. It would take more than four years of Republican effort to completely topple it.
Look to the Democratic Party of Texas for inspiration, if you lack fortitude. They’ve been fighting the good fight for Lord knows how many years against a legislative map that’s so red it looks like Sherwin-Williams tried to cover it. Yet they’ve managed to hold up their end and get some good laws passed, and even elected five Democratic governors in the past fifty years.
We’ve had some talk of people threatening to leave the country, just like after Trump’s first win. Few actually went, and I hope most of you will stay now. This is the time when you’re needed most. When your team is down is when they need you to help out, to pitch in, or to cheer them on, if nothing else. Nothing will change without people willing to fight the good fight. Remember the telegram Labor Organizer Joe Hill sent to IWW founder “Big Bill” Haywood after being sentenced to death in Utah. In its full glory, it read “"Goodbye, Bill, I die like a true blue rebel. Don’t waste any time mourning. Organize!”, but everybody remembers and repeats its pithy core, It’s as true today as it was over a century ago.

“Don’t Mourn – Organize!”

Well done; thanks for sharing.

You’ve nicely captured her spirit. I would enjoy hearing more from the Ghost of Molly Ivins in the the future, if you are so inclined. Thanks.

Moved from Politics & Elections as more bloggish.

Thanks for those kind words. I’m not sure how long I could keep that sort of thing up.

It’s really easy for such efforts to turn into parody, which is not what I’m after. Use a couple of Molly’s characteristic phrases (“whomper-jawed” is classic Molly Ivins) and some folksy phrasing and metaphors (she never said the Sherwin-Williams thing – I stole that imagery from an old issue of National Lampoon) and – voila! – you’ve got faux Ivins.

Only that’s not what I was after. I think I captured the essence of what she would have said - "Stop bitchin’ about losing all three branches of government, you wusses. We’ve been dealing with that in Texas for longer than you’d care to remember "-- and couched it in her style with the pertinent point at the end – “…so DO something about it!”

One of the problems with reading a lot of any particular type of literature is that eventually you start thinking “Hey! I can do that!” , even if you really can’t. It explains a lot of the writings I’ve inflicted on the world these many years.

But if I’m again inspired, and can crank out something that sounds like the late great Molly Ivins without parody, and which actually has a point, I’ll set it down here.

Someone asks “What would Groucho Say?”