What would my cat taste like?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

All morning my cat has been irritating the Hell out of me. So much so, that I’m thinking about cooking her up and making a meal out of it.

If I throw her on a spit and slow roast her, what kind of meal should I expect once she’s done?

I assume she tastes like chicken. But what about her ribs? Can I expect any meat on them? Can I whip up some special spices and make some ‘Cat-Wings’ out of her legs? Or do I drop the specialty plates and just grind her up and make some links?

Hurry, the games going to start soon and I’ll be hungry by half-time.

2

A cat is like a rabbit, meat-wise.
I’ve eaten lion meat at fancy speciality restaurants, and it’s much like rabbit, and nothing like the “gamy” moose/deer family animals.
The portions would also be similar, so you might have bits of meat for use in a converted rabbit recipe, but there will be no steaks or chop.

3

Show_Biz-

Mmkay. Sounds good.

However, I’ve never cooked rabbit before and I want this to be special. A whole big dinner is in the works now.

Maybe a little wine, some candles, a nice salad with bread and some soup to start things off. These things I can do blindfolded, but I’m lost when it comes to preparing the entre.

Do I need to marinate her? What about a crust? Should I use a simple egg wash and bread crumb crust? Or, how about deep frying her? Keep in mind, all I have is a little Presto deep fat fryer I got in college.

I don’t know why, but I was hoping for the spit and an open fire method. Something kind of satisfying seeing her spinning around above an open fire.

How’d they prepare your cat?

It’s also occured to me that I’ll have a pelt to deal with once I’m done. Now, I’m leaning towards mounting her head on the wall of my apartment, but what about her pelt? Any ideas?

And don’t even think about the tail. That one I’ve got figured out. Since I was a kid I’ve always wanted one of those Daniel Boone hats with a Raccoon tail hanging off the end of it. Now I’ll have one.

What should I do with the rest?

4

A spit is no good on tough meat (your cat was active, right, with strong muscles).

Put in an olla with a cover in the oven at at least 400 degrees. That will break down all the sinew.
Or, use a pressure cooker.

The fur is not good for anything but a dust rag.
Treat it with lanolin to keep it from shedding, and the lanolin will also help trap dust.

5

Meriwether Lewis and William Clark feasted on Dogs and Horses even though they were on the most plentiful Salmon and Trout rivers in the world–

this is tasteless humor… well… no, it would be TastFUL homor, wouldn’t It?!
:smiley:

6

This one’s too easy. I’ll leave the obvious joke out there for someone else to take.

7

For a trial run check out your local Chinese Takeaway.

8

sigh…

[sub]tastes like chicken[/sub]

HAPPY?!?

9

Cat: the other white meat.

Though there is that troublesome tender vittles aftertaste…

10

I am VERY relieved to see that this thread is not about what I thought it was going to be about…

11

Like pussy? :wink:

12

Even though I love cats…this thread is making me hungry!

And what kind of restaurant serves lion? How odd.

13

Sounds kinda fair to me, fight a lion and the winner gets to eat.

14

You MUST mount the head! On a big wooden plaque, with the cat snarling - so people can be impressed by the danger of it all! :wink:

15

Well I decided to watch the game at a friend’s house. Having that break today made me reconsider cooking her.

But the second I walked in the door that incessant meowing and attention-getting thing started up again. So, tomorrow night, my house, cat a’ l’orange. Well, actually, I’m pretty open to recipe suggestions. I’m wondering how she’d like to be presented, but, obviously, can’t ask her. Her attitude suggests something southwestern. A sassy dish. Something that will come up and pester you long after the meal is done. A meal that screams- ‘Tagament’!

Now, the night itself is set. Half time, Monday night football, will be the time the meows stop and digestion begins.

Now, to answer some of your questions-

Pyrex- You say the spit is no good for tough meat. O.K… How about a Crock-Pot? Maybe set her on slow simmer for the day? What kind of stock should I use? Beef? Chicken? Lamb?

andygirl- No problem with a Tender Vital aftertaste. Ever since I decided to cook her up I switched her over to Bumble Bee canned tuna. I went with the Albacore White Chuck kind. She loves it. She’s scarffing the stuff down as I type. Personally, I’m hoping the investment in canned tuna will give her a bit of a ‘gamie’ taste. I’d be embarrassed to serve her tasting like all she’s done in life is sit on my sofa. I want her taste like she’s been roaming the wide-open spaces of Twin Cities’ back alleys.

kellibelli- One step ahead of you on mounting her head. It’s a definite go. My only problem is choosing what type of mount to put her head on. I’m kind of partial to the wooden ‘shield’ looking thing. Or, maybe one of those wooden oval mounts you see a moose on, only smaller.

Ideally, I’d like to have both her head and neck on the mount. That way, I can display her silver cat tag that reads, “‘Z’- If found, please call 555-1212”. That’ll be the conversation piece my living room’s been looking for.
Oh, I almost forgot, should I get red or white wine? And desert? I don’t think sherbet will quite cut it.

What’d’ya think?

16

I’m not gonna take that joke either. Mr C you want it??

:slight_smile:

17

Geez, I sure hope your joking CnoteChris. If she is really bugging you that bad why don’t you find someone who wants her? That is how I got one of my beloved kitties, the guy who owned her said she was too loud and threw her outside. I heard what he did and took my cat carrier to his apartment and rescued her. She was loud because she was in heat, and her owner was too cheap to get her spayed.

You live in Minneapolis? I live in western Wisconsin (near the border). I’ll come and take her if you really don’t want her. My BF will probably blow a gasket if I bring home another cat, oh well.

I’ll even stop at a grocery store and pick you up one of those rotisserie chickens so you don’t go hungry. Please don’t eat your cat!

18

Thanks, Whammo, but I’m using this thread to teach myself self-restraint and patience :smiley:

19

So, Cnote, can I come to dinner? :smiley:

20

As Hannibal Lechter would say, “Perhaps a nice Chi-ant-i”

Or maybe a bottle of catatonic.

In keeping with the Wild Kingdom theme, might I suggest some Ben & Jerry’s[sup]TM[/sup] Chunky Monkey for dessert?

Then again, if you’re eating pussy, a nice piece of cherry pie might be in order.

Oh, and why not donate the pelt to your local High School’s physics department? You know, for that static electricity demonstration with the rod? My physics teacher told me that whenever he rubs his rod he gets a charge. :wink: