So, you’re at the end of your portal fantasy adventure, you’d defeated the dragon or other monster, you’re standing in the middle of their fantastic treasure hoard, when the Voice of the Gods thunders that it’s time to go home. What do you take with you, and what do you do with it?
[ul]
[li]Anything you’d typically expect to be found in this kind of treasure hoard is fair game.[/li][li]You’ll have to carry everything yourself 1 mile back to the portal.[/li][li]No taking magical or legendary one-of-a-kind items back to our world[/li][li]If you have a physical disability, you can assume it’s been cured by magic for the duration of your adventure[/li][/ul]
I’m particularly interested in anybody’s opinions on what they could most easily convert into modern money back home, but if there’s something you want to carry just to keep it, go ahead!
Everything. I’d dig out my portable hole and toss in the lot, then I could go through it and catalog it at my leisure. I, in fact, did this in one of my D&D sessions when a DM foolishly allowed a rather large portable hole connecting to a pocket dimension to fall into my hands. HE didn’t realize the ramifications, but I sure did.
If you are going to be all rules lawyerly though, I’d probably go for magical items that would enhance my abilities and the most valuable small items or artifacts I could find. I’d probably leave most of the gold and silver (especially the silver), though gems are pretty portable so it would depend on how the dragon laid out the horde. Without an idea of what is actually there, I don’t think anyone could decide more than broadly.
I’d probably take my chances with explaining the provenance of a bunch of gemstones and just go with as many gaudy, jewel-encrusted objects as I could carry. I’m sure whatever auction house I pick would be happy to work with me for the chance at selling a bunch of ludicrously valuable rocks. Maybe we could do a “mystery collector selling never-before-seen treasures!” route.
Otherwise, I’m pretty confident that I could drag a hundred pounds of gold for one mile. That’s two million dollars worth of loot.
Other than the typical, gold and such. I would try to find and take some mithril. Imagine, a flexible, lightweight material that is stronger than steel. If you could figure out a way to duplicate it, you’d make billions and revolutionize material science. There would maybe even the outside chance of a Nobel Prize for creating a previously unknown material with such properties.
Gold and silver could come from anywhere, but actual magical weapons or artifacts that actually worked? Those would be priceless. Really finely made (and magical) weapons and armor might be on the list. And after that, stuff you could easily grab in quantity, such as gems. Myself, I’d split the difference between stuff I’d want for myself (stuff that would heal me despite the wound, maybe extend my life, grant me strength, speed, intelligence, charisma and the like) and maybe protection. I probably would have to grab at least one really fine blade or two and maybe go out with some armor on, but that would be for me. For resale in this world, I’d have the gems and, perhaps, some of the other magical items that I could sell to physicists or the like to try and puzzle out how they work…maybe a few items I could use to win Randi’s million dollar prize.
1.) On seeing the thread title, I had to check the “join” date to see that this wasn’t a return of dude_robert
2.) Any especially large diamonds that I could find, preferably colored ones (Diamonds of Color?) 50 million dollars worth of gold would weigh around 2,700 pounds at today’s prices. 50 million dollars worth of blue diamond could fit inside a bottlecap.
Most importantly, I want to bring back all my extremities and bits intact!
Wait, you were talking treasure…
I’d probably opt for things like gold coins and ingots. They’re fairly small and compact and it’s easy to convert gold into cash these days. You can sell gems and they’d probably be more profitable, but I don’t know how to go about doing that. I think I’d opt for a moderate but pretty sure profit over a riskier big score.
The intent was to keep all magical items off the table, as it were, though I do like the idea of finding a magical item to enhance your strength to carry more non-magical treasure… then you could dump said item just as you get to the portal.
Takes all the fun out of it. Honestly, then you are down to gems if you want to get the maximum dollar value out. That and exceptionally well-crafted items that would resell for a lot more than the value of the materials…jewelry, ornamental boxes, maybe some smaller items of weapons or armor, that sort of thing. You wouldn’t want to screw around with gold or silver or anything bulky like that if you were having to bring this all back yourself, again not if you wanted to maximize the value. Personally, I’d sneak a few magical items anyway unless there some magical detector at the portal, plus I’d go for some of the dragons DNA if possible.
Would be a sucky adventure though where I didn’t even get some magical items though. I’m all about the enhancement…money is for chumps.
A couple of dragon teeth would be fun; I’d take 'em to naturalists to drive 'em crazy.
Gems are nifty, but I’d have to deal with an expert to sell them; I’d never be able to handle the negotiations on my own. I’d absolutely need an agent or broker.
If there were some really, really pretty necklaces or pendants or other decorations, I might grab one or two, to hang on the wall at home. (Sigh. Prob’ly get stolen…)
But, thinking of my retirement…just all the gold I can carry.
Well, assuming that you could carry 40 pounds of gold in a backpack, that would be 583 troy ounces, at today’s price of $1,280 per ounce, that is $748,000. So not millions, but definitely a fair amount of money. You’d probably be better off with gems and jewelry, but get those dwarves to check it out and be sure of what you’re getting. No sense walking back with a ton of what you think is sapphire, only to find that it is a lesser stone.
Giant diamonds over gold. Maybe not Arkenstone style, but fist sized. Gold is heavy, and two bags of gold is worth 2x one bag. High quality diamonds increase exponentially with size. Of course you could end up with scrappy quartz or something, but maybe use the Mohs test and scratch a bunch of things first.
I’d take some dragon’s teeth because frankly having a dragon’s tooth necklace or hatband would be fucking boss and most people would have no idea what it was.
I’d also be taking precious stones and jewellery because they’d be easier to sell on the open market, a few gold coins (for myself), golden/precious metal swords/daggers/helmets (again, personal use), and various objet d’art which could either class up my office or be sold without raising too many questions.
Any remaining space I’d just fill with gold that could be sold or deposited without raising too many eyebrows - so basically not coins (“I’m sorry sir, but this auction house is not familiar with the Empire of Cyrodil or its coinage…”).
The Mithril Chain Mail is a good start, wears well, worth a huge fortune & is hard to beat for protection. After that I would look for gems that are fairly easy to carry and enough gold & silver for traveling money.
I, in fact, did this in one of my D&D sessions when a DM foolishly allowed a rather large portable hole connecting to a pocket dimension to fall into my hands. HE didn’t realize the ramifications, but I sure did.