This !
I’d promise to give you back 1.05 million dollars next year, provided somebody raises my debt ceiling.
I’d hang out with the judge at a bar, buy all of his drinks, and tell everyone what a great guy he is.
I would watch The Rise of Skywalker a second time.*
*Proviso: I can pause whenever I want and I have a month to finish.
This is the first thing I thought of!!
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the ancient joke (probably considered non-PC by some, though I’m not convinced it should be):
Boss says to his secretary, “Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?”
She thinks about it, finally says “Sure.”
“What about for ten dollars?”
“Of course not–what do you think I am!?”
“We’ve established that, we’re negotiating.”
If it isn’t illegal or harmful, there are lots of things I’d do.
Sorry, hon, but that stuff isn’t worth a million dollars! Eat meat? Heck, I’d consider sauteing your liver for that much money. LOL
I would dance a jig for a million dollars.
But, I’m guessing you want to know what most we would do to get the million (IOW, you need some skin in the game). In that case, the most I would do is cut off the tip of my left little finger (or either baby toe), and only after doing an injection block with local anesthetic.
I’d go to that playoff game to a popular sporting event for a million dollars. That actually sounds quite unpleasant to me. Dealing with traffic, crowds of people, and all the other stuff associated with having to attend a major sporting event isn’t any fun at all. I would consider that a punishment rather than a reward. So if you give me a million dollars I’ll attend game 7 of the World Series, NBA or NHL playoffs, or the Super Bowl.
I would also be willing to puke on Mike Rowe’s head for a million dollars.
How about on the radio?
It would have to be a large radio, wouldn’t it?
I’d buy you a monkey, haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
I’d catalogue and organize your personal library in DDC or LCC as per your preference, including setup of an open-source Koha-based digital catalogue. Technical services to include spine labels, barcodes, covers, and RFID systems can be implemented but materials for those are at your additional expense - my pitch is labor/expertise only.
Alternatively I could design and paint a wee miniature figurine of yourself.
Are either of these services actually worth a million bucks? Not really. But you do what you can do. I’d also happily amputate a digit or perform any one of a number of lewd, disgusting, or demeaning acts, but who among us impoverished peons wouldn’t? Nothing remarkable about acts performed in extremis, imo.
Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna agree to losing body parts. Or eating bugs.
But, we could talk about the other stuff.
I’d want to make a large enough profit to be worth it so while I’d like to offer you any amount up to $999,999.99 in return for the $1m, there’d be some fees, my time commitment, etc. to get a loan.
Let’s say I’d offer you $985,000. But you need to give the full $1m immediately on receipt so that I don’t need to make any interest payments.
Especially not you, as you’re already down a few!
A friend’s husband lost the last joint of his left hand’s pinkie finger in a work accident years ago. He received some $$ ($15k) from insurance. Every time his wife gets drunk she talks about what a pussy he is, because he won’t purposely lose more bits of fingers.
I am lazy, I am not going to lift a finger. If you insist, you can put the money in my pocket for me. If not, it’s OK, give the million to somebody else who wants or needs it more.
Not even for a million, or any amount, would I voluntarity give up my cat or dog.