So Bezos, Gates, Musk, Zuckergerg and Buffett, all died in a misaligned ride on the new space-X capsule and are now on their way to pluto, surprisingly they left you as their sole heir. After doing the usual benevolent things of solving world hunger eliminating disease and cleaning up the planet, you still have a pretty sizable chunk of change and its time to treat yourself. What do you do?
To give you the sort of idea of the degree of seriousness consideration I expect in this thread I offer my idea:
Hire a team of professional bakers and staff to recreate every baked good made on the British Baking Show, (including any over baking etc.) so that I can sample the offerings as they appear on the show while I am watching them being judged.
Buy the Washington Football Team.
Change the name to the Washington Honkies.
Visit the town of Twatt, Shetland, Scotland.
Visit the town of Twatt, Orkney, Scotland.
Find a worthy gentleman with family roots in both communities.
Bribe the Crown to make him a Lord of Parliament.
Move to the coast
Learn to sail, and to navigate by compass, sextant, and chronometer.
Circumnavigate the globe twice, once in a one-man sailboat, once as skipper of a clipper ship.
Buy a movie studio. I would probably make Ed Wood and Ewe Boll look like geniuses, but I would try to make something good.
Have all of my favorite books printed in Gothic letters on vellum, and illuminated like medieval manuscripts.
A large-ish regular house can conceal secret passages just as well. Hell, if it’s on enough property you can have underground tunnels to the guest house(s), to the nearby seaside cliffs, etc.
Travel the world on the most luxurious train cars available.
Travel the world using the most luxurious airline cabins.
A world cruise sounds like fun (since I’ll of course have cleared out that pesky COVID problem first). In one of the top-notch suites on the ship, of course.
Before all of that, I’d need lessons in how not to appear nouveau riche of course.
Oh that reminds me of another thing that I wanted to do which was hire some animators and professional voice actors to animate Alice and Wonderland and Alice through the looking glass verbatim out of the Lewis Carol original based the Tenniel illustrations. I love the original Carol books, but have yet to find an adaptation that didn’t heavily alter it to make it palatable to modern audiences,
I’d buy the Dallas Cowboys. Then I’d rename AT&T stadium Tom Landry stadium if his family was OK with that, or back to Cowboys stadium if they preferred it not be named after him. If Jerry Jones insists on remaining an owner, I’d offer to buy him Washington FT and give that to him.
I’d buy a nice house and car for myself and my family. My best friends would never want for anything the rest of their lives. (As it is, I routinely throw them $10 here, $20 there to buy food and put money in their gas tanks).
I’d buy the NBA’s Indiana Pacers and put a general manager in there who knows what he’s doing. I’d do whatever it takes to make sure Lance Stephenson remains a Pacer the rest of his life.
I’d donate a lot of money to the Democratic Party, and endorse a primary challenger for Joe Manchin and Krysten Sinema. They’re not doing us any good, so let’s get rid of them.
I’d become Donald Trump’s worst fuckin’ enemy. I’d do whatever I could to make sure he never sniffed the White House ever again.
I’d buy the entire U.S. government (how expensive could that be?) and then hire one keeper per politician and equip them with cattle prods, to stand over their assigned pol and “prompt” them to “do the right thing”. Battery bill on the prods would be excruciating, but I’d own total battery production on the planet, so, doable. Then I’d move on to organized religion.
I’d hire a clandestine gardener and house cleaner, they only show up when I’m out, away, or not around.
I’d have a car service that comes when I call, nothing fancy, just always at the ready.
I’d visit Bhutan. And support a lot of causes I like.
(Then focus on chaotic good deeds, like going around paying off things on layaway for strangers, get their car out of hock, pay off their washing machine, medical debt, student loan, etc!)
I think I’d bring back canceled TV shows I like. I’d renew shows like Bob and David on Netflix, do another season of the Sarah Connor chronicles, do another season of the Santa Clarita diet, and basically just bring back TV shows that either ended in a cliffhanger or still had good life in them.
I’d also start or heavily fund a liberal group to counterbalance ALEC at the state and local level.
I’d also buy an NFL team even though I don’t watch football.
Solve world hunger, eliminate poverty, develop world peace and save the children! Weeps and waves hand Miss America style. Do I win???
I’ve actually fantasied about this. I would reunite Kpop group IOI and all the disbanded groups (Pristin, Gugudan, Dia?) the members were in post IOI, and bring them all back together on stage for a series of concerts and comebacks. Oh…and save the children!
