Why would you assume your less well-off friend wouldn’t want to go all out and get the expensive seats?
In Amy’s shoes, I’d ask Betty if she wanted to go, then tell her what seats/prices are available. Allow Betty to decide what she’s comfortable with.
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Wonky
Bolding mine
As others have said, if money is going to cause a problem, it’s not much of a friendship.
It’s better to communicate, rather than worry about what Betty will say or do…
While this does not address the root of the issue (if there is one) I like it for this instance. So, Mark, hie thee out to buy 2 really good tickets as a gift to your wife and let her take the BFF.
I think it’s a winner. Mark buys the expensive tickets for Amy as a gift, but insists she attend with Betty. There’s a chance Betty may feel some obligation to pay, but in that case I like another idea upthread of suggesting she buy dinner rather than pay full price for the ticket.
She should absolutely not introduce the point of cost. That makes it maybe a thing where it shouldn’t be a thing. Just offer to get the tickets.
But by the more affluent friend raising the subject of cost, it makes it easy for the other to interpret it badly. Discussing things points up their importance. The way to be truly kind and courteous to the less affluent friend here is to genuinely treat the matter as unimportant.
If you want to treat your friend to the $500 seats, great.
But what would be wrong with a compromise with good seats that are maybe $100-150 instead and buying one for your friend? Not quite the full VIP package, but still good seats and shared with a friend.
Madame Warbucks pays for the tickets; Judy Journalist pays for dinner afterwards. Friends do nice stuff for each other. They don’t have to be the best seats in the house - Madame Warbucks isn’t showing off (I presume) nor trying to put her friend under obligation.
Besides, it’s vulgar to talk about money.
Regards,
Shodan
This is what I was thinking. It’s more fun for Amy if she gets closer seats and goes with her good friend Betty, so it’s not like it’s a total charity case if Amy buys the tickets for them both. And this is a special occasion, if there were shows coming through every month where Amy wanted $500 seats and Betty would be more willing and able to do $45 seats, then that would be different and tension could mount and things could get awkward, but a show like Jefferson doesn’t come along all that often.
Amy should say she’ll get the tickets and Betty buys dinner, and then for events in the future they both pay their own way and maybe go for cheaper seats when it’s not as important of a show to see.
If money was no object to me I’d buy two $500 tix and I can’t think of any friend who would turn that down or feel weird about it (then again, I am not my friends. Maybe they would?)
If money was sort of an object to me, I would buy two mid-range tickets and still not think of any friend who would turn that down or feel weird.
I would think that “having to sit in the shitty seats because you’re too stubborn to let me pay for an upgrade” would cause more resentment than “having my rich friend pay for awesome seats”.
I’m Amy in this scenario, with a lot of Betty friends, and this situation comes up all the time (usually with regard to eating at a more expensive place). When discussing options, if I want a more expensive one, I suggest it and add “I’d be happy to treat.” Betty either says a) “Great, let’s go” b) "No, it’s fine, I’ll pay for the more expensive place or c) No, I’d rather do [cheaper alternative].
I then go along with whichever option Betty chooses (of course you can’t bitch about missing the more expensive alternative). The open communication approach seems to work fine for me.
I do like the “I’ll buy the tickets and you buy dinner” option, which seems like a fair compromise to me.
If I had the money and wanted to go, I’d just buy the tickets I wanted and gift one to whoever I wanted to join me. Like I always do. I take poorer friends to concerts all the time, and it’s no big deal. However, I’ve never spent much more than $100 on concert tickets, so this $500 business is entirely out of my experience.
If the friend felt guilty about accepting an expensive gift from me, I’d offer to let them pay me for the ticket whatever amount they felt was appropriate. Or just tell them “If the situation were reversed, I know you’d do the same for me. So if I ever fall on hard times and you are in a good financial position, consider paying me back then.”
If I had the money and wanted to go, I’d just buy the tickets I wanted and gift one to whoever I wanted to join me. Like I always do. I take poorer friends to concerts all the time, and it’s no big deal. However, I’ve never spent much more than $100 on concert tickets, so this $500 business is entirely out of my experience.
If the friend felt guilty about accepting an expensive gift from me, I’d offer to let them pay me for the ticket whatever amount they felt was appropriate. Or just tell them “If the situation were reversed, I know you’d do the same for me. So if I ever fall on hard times and you are in a good financial position, consider paying me back then.”
In my opinion-assume that both will get the $45 seats. But Lady Warbucks can/should ask her friend what seats the friend is comfortable with. Tell her that the most important thing is to go together and that way both will have a good time. If it can be discussed, I personally wouldn’t but many friends could, discuss possible cost sharing.
I like the idea of the friend buys dinner and Lady W buys the tickets. But it would be up to the friend. But everything is predicated on going together and both having a good time.