“Eaten by a grue.”
“I told you my feet were killing me.”
Ms Hook and I found one in an El Paso cemetery that I rather enjoyed.
Dr. John Louis Greggerson
“Doc Holiday”
June 12, 1956
April 28, 2008
Miss on you pister if you think you’re so mucking fuch.
Don’t think I’d want it on my grave but certainly approve of someone else having it on there’s.
Oh, you’re wearing the pink ones today. Those are my favorite!
“Now THAT was a Kiss…!”
…I know, I know… but I can only do it Once…
Dayum, I just now spotted the this thread’s title in the thread-list page, and immediately knew what silly-ass answer I wanted to post. And upon opening the thread, what do I see? Post #2 (yes, post #2) said it for me.
GMTA! 
“When hell is full the dead will walk the earth”
It seemed appropriate to this thread.
These words from Longfellow’s “Evangeline”:
“And from the moonlit meadow, a sigh responded, ‘Tomorrow!’”
“Death By Misadventure”
(also, there’s a chance, I already posted this somewhere way upthread back in 2003, but I’m too lazy to weed through.)
dunno about an epitaph…
the stone should be in the shape of a pizza with a request for no flowers, but tomatoes or herbs should be planted instead.
"Here lies an atheist.
If I was wrong,
I’ll see you in Hell."
Nothing gold can stay.
More to the point, I want someone to want to put that on there for me. 
His heart and hands finally stopped beating.
Slap Bet Commissioner
Fibonacci wanted a Fibonacci Curve engraved on his headstone, but the executor couldn’t explain it properly to the stone-cutter, so he got an arithmetic spiral instead. I find that very sad.