Pope Comedian, or maybe Pope Onan.
I couldn’t decide between Robert, Peter and Paul, so I settled on: Pope Rob Peter to Pay Paul
I would be Pope Asterix I. Got to get some proper menhirs into the Vatican.
dba Pope Fred
I like this answer. Both paragraphs.
Who, because of his membership of the Dope, was known to history as “Smartus”.
I like Pope Boris. It has lots of historical connections, yet it is one of those Inherently Funny Names, like Trevor, or Rupert.
And part of me likes the idea of Boris Johnson as Pope. Politics aside, he’d be hilarious.
Pope Nope-a-Dope
Ah Pope like a Cardinal,
Sting like a Bee!
Won’t be spreadin’ altar boys
Like the Holy See…!
Pope William. There’s never been one, and I like the name.
An interesting article on the implications and symbolism of various pontifical names: http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/03/world/europe/pope-names/index.html?hpt=hp_t3
Popess Pseudonyma I. You can call me Sue.
Skippy.
Mine would be Gohsdewetzel.
Poree.
Pope Poree.
The new pope apparently agrees with you. 
Pope Ular 1
Good call!
Odd that you left out that notable disciple of Jesus, Judas.
Pope Shitzindewoods.
That way we’ll have a definitive answer to the question.
Assume for arguments sake that the new pope did that. Would they have to let him?
He’s the Pope, yo. I’m pretty sure his answer would be “God said I could.”
Hey, maybe the Pope reads the Dope! 